After Her
by Mtrench is life
Summary: When Clary came out and told Jace she was pregnant it resulted in a fight. Unable to handle it or him, Clary left, abandoning New York and everyone she knew in it. It's been 5 years since she seen the familiar sights of her home town, and she was no intentions of going back. But when a series of suspicious murders targeting Shadowhunters begins will she have a choice?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The Hunter's Moon was fairly empty, the long wooden bar occupied by a lone man, his hands white from where he gripped the glass of dark amber liquid. Without opening his eyes, he raised it to his mouth. It disappeared into his mouth, which was raw and chapped. As if he'd been biting it thoughtlessly.

The bar tender, a large hairy man with a scar marring his left arm, eyed the man with worry. "How you holding up?" He asked in a gruff voice, setting the glass he'd been shining down with a clink. The grimy dish rag he gripped in his right hand settled onto the inside of the bar.

A weak laugh escaped the man's lips, his golden eyes opening. They were watery, but with tears or the effect of the alcohol he'd been drinking religiously all night Pete wasn't sure. "Do I look like I'm holding up, dog?"

Pete's mouth turned down in disapproval. "Watch your mouth, Nephilim. You don't belong in here to begin with. I only let you stay because I pity you-"

The man with the golden hair moved fast, almost faster than Pete could analyze with his heightened senses. Where his hands had once rested on the bar there was now a knife, thin and silver. A prickle of fear rippled through him.

"Do not pity me. It would not be in your best interests."

Freaky Pete shook his head. "Put that away, Jace. Do you need a cab called to take you home? You're a bit far from home..."

Jace shook his head, his blond curls briefly hiding his eyes. Ever since she had left him, he hadn't taken as much time to keep us his rugged appearance. His looks were not arranged now but rather natural. A dusting of scruff hugged his jaw line, suggesting that he hadn't shaved in some time, and the purple rings under his eyes showed that he wasn't doing any better at all.

He was in just as much pain as he was five years ago.

"Alright. See you tomorrow?" Pete looked towards the door, where the last stragglers had finally shrugged through moments before. It was closing time, but it wasn't unusual for Jace to stay longer then he was welcome.

Jace made a noise under his breath, shoving the knife back into the pocket of his frayed jacket. Pete saw a flash of color before he zipped it up, and his heart ached for the Shadowhunter standing before him. It wasn't hard to tell who the flying red hair belonged to in the photograph.

Letting his eyes drop, he continued to tidy the bar. The door swished, and then it was silent. He was gone.

As Pete did the final rounds of closing up, he shook his head. He could only hope that someday Clary came home and put an end to the man's suffering. But seeing as how long she'd been gone already it was unlikely.

He didn't know how long Jace would survive this way, in his zombie like trance so unlike his usual arrogant self.

Not very long, that was for certain.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One *set in Clary's POV unless otherwise stated***

"Mommy?"

Weak morning sunlight filters in through the bay window that makes up the far wall of my bedroom. I blink, head still fuzzy with the memory of sleep. The simple alarm clock I keep beside my double bed reads 8:15.

Inwardly I groan. Escaping the Shadowhunter life style clearly hadn't mean escaping the early rising associated with them. Although he had never experienced that life, it seemed like it was already ground into my son.

Forcing myself to sit up, I rub my eyes. At the foot of my bed, his golden curls flattened from where he had been asleep, stands my boy. Stephen Lucian Herondale. He grins a gap-toothed smile when I open my eyes, flinging himself up beside me. I open my arms to catch him as he snuggles into my chest. I grunt as he adjusts himself, crudely headbutting me in the chest. Although he is only a few weeks shy of his fifth birthday he is tall, clearly much taller than most boys his age. I suspect it's the amount of angel's blood that runs in his veins that makes him as he is.

I smooth down his head of curls. For a moment I remember holding another golden haired boy, this one much larger, but I push the memory away before it has a chance to attack me. I don't _want _to remember, don't have to remember if I try hard enough.

"Mommy?" Stephen asks again, raising his head to look at me. He has his father's eyes- a pale gold color that seemed to cut right through me some days. For a second I worry that he'll ask me a question that I don't want to answer. He's done it before.

"What-y?" I respond, making him laugh. Ever since he was small Stephen had been an easy-going baby. I was thankful he didn't have his father's personality. At least, not yet he didn't.

"Are we still going to the zoo today? You promised, you know."

I place a light kiss on his temple. "Sure we can," I agree, watching with a smile as his face lights up with excitement. If I am completely honest with myself the reason I am taking him today is because of a much needed distraction.

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the day I left Jace Herondale and all the other Shadowhunter's of New York behind, never looking back as I did. While Stephen hurries to get up and rush back to his room across the hall, I am thrown head long into a flashback.

* * *

_Jace lounged across the chair, a book left open in his lap. He watched me with a lazy grin as I entered the room, clearly blind to the fear that almost swallowed me whole as I prepared to do what had to be done. _

_I settled myself into the chair across from him, trying to return his smile and failing miserably. I knew that just outside the door Isabelle was waiting in case anything took a wrong turn. I appreciated her for backing me up on this task._

_"Why the long face?" Jace asked, yawning as he stretched his long legs. His feet were bare- typical of him. He liked to be bare footed whenever possible. His left hand reached out, finding my own._

_His embrace was warm, but I was freezing._

_Noting my stiffness, Jace raised an eyebrow. "Clary? What's wrong?"_

_The tears had begun to drip then, landing on my other hand which was curled into a fist against my leg. _Everything _was wrong, couldn't he tell? Jace shuffled in his seat, uncomfortable with my sudden tide of emotion. "Clary, you're scaring me. Tell me what's going on."_

_Unable to hold it in any longer, I had caved. "I'm pregnant, Jace. I-I just found out today, and I'm scared, and-"_

_"How long?" He cut me off, color draining from his face. My heart thundered in my chest. A small shard of hope wedged in between my ribs. Maybe he would take this fine after all._

_"I think a couple months or so," I answered, clearing my throat. "In Prague. After the club..."_

_His face dropped into his free hand, and he sighed. "We're too young for this Clary. I'll take you to Magnus in an hour, see what can be arranged. I suppose I'll have to borrow some of his clothes to wear out in the mundane world."_

_The shard of hope I had froze and then exploded into a thousand icy shards. "What do you mean? I've already talked to Magnus. How do you think I found out?" When I'd first felt sick I'd gone to Magnus, wondering if I had a touch of the flu. He had other suspicions and had urged me to take a pregnancy test. When it was positive I had demanded he let me try again and again until finally there was no denying._

_"I don't mean about if you're pregnant, Clary. I mean about where he can find someone to...well...take care of it."_

_I let his words sink in. It had hit me hard. "Take care of it? Do you mean...?" I couldn't bring myself to say it. He wanted to abort the baby. To kill it. Because we were too young._

_He nodded, eyes careful. "It won't hurt you. I promise it won't take long. Hell, I'll even pay for it. Nobody will have to know about this-"_

_I stood up, yanking my hand free of his. "I can't believe you. You expect me to kill the baby just because you want nothing to do with it? Jace, I'm not doing that! That's...that's murder!"_

_Jace let out a dry laugh. "Oh, get a grip. This isn't murder, Clary! Hell, the thing can't even feel it yet. It's not murder. Do you really think I'd be up for that?"_

_"Thing? Did you just call it a thing? It's a _baby _Jace Herondale, not a thing!" I backed away from him, outrage making my cheeks flush._

_"Don't you understand, Clary? We're too damn young!" Jace jumped to his feet, knocking his chair back against the window ledge with a crash. That was clearly enough for Isabelle, who burst into the room with an alarmed looking Alec at her side. I barely heard her demand what was going on._

_Shaking with rage, I raised a finger, pointing it at Jace. "No, you don't understand. I'm keeping this baby whether you like it or not."_

_He threw his head back, nostrils flared wide. "Perfect. Just fucking perfect. Well, maybe if you're going to do that you should just go home, Clary. Let your mom take care of this. Because I sure don't want to."_

_The words struck me as if he'd hit me. Dazed, I continued to back away. I felt Isabelle's hand on my arm, her worried voice muttering words to me that I didn't pick out. I knew then what I had to do._

_"I will go home, I think. Actually, I don't give a crap where I go as long as it's away from you! We are over, Jace."_

_I turned my back to him, letting the tears run free. Alec blocked my exit from the library. I shoved him roughly, ignoring his calls. Taking the stairs two at a time, I came to the room I shared with Jace when I was free to stay at the Institute. Grabbing the backpack that I brought back and forth with me I grabbed the first changes of clothes I could find. Hot tears rolled down my face, splashing on everything. In the end, I left my sketch book but packed my pencils._

_Reaching up to my neck, I yanked roughly on the chain that hung there. It broke under my fingers, landing on the bed. The Morgenstern ring glittered up at me. I wouldn't need it anymore._

_As I turned to go, I noticed my way was blocked by a distinctly male figure. "So help me if you don't get out of my way, Ja-"_

_"Alec, actually," the cold voice corrected. Jace's parabatai crossed his arms. "Are you really going to do this Clary? Don't you think this may be an overreaction?" __I glared coldly up at him. Slightly taken aback, he moved a little. "I mean, don't you realize what this will do to him? You leaving, I mean?"_

_"There was a time when I would have cared. That time isn't now,"_

* * *

Shivering, I stare blankly as the memory melts away. In the next room I can hear Stephen rummaging in his closet for a shirt, humming to himself. Those were the last words I ever said to Alec. The next morning I had taken off, Magnus driving me to the bus stop and tucking a phone number in my jacket pocket. He had wished me the best of luck and watched my bus drive away.

I wonder if he knew how I cried all the way to the last stop the bus offered. Ohama, Nebraska. Here I found a new life, one as a waitress in a small coffe shop down town. It paid me enough to find a small apartment close by. When Stephen had been born a check had arrived in the mail. I knew it was from Magnus by the looping writing on the front. It contained money and an update of what was happening back home.

Ever since then, up until last year, I had spoken to Magnus via letter. When I did stop it wasn't because he wished too but because it was simply too painful to hear about the people I had left behind. Though he was careful not to mention Jace I did gather how he was doing by discreet lines and sentences.

It was too much.

Stephen reappears then, shattering my thoughts and memories. He looks up at me, his plaid shirt buttoned evenly for once. "Are you remembering?" He asks in a small voice, tiny hand reaching for my own. I take it, smiling down at him.

"Yes, baby, I am," when he got old enough Stephen had begun to notice when I would go silent and distant from him, ignoring his questions and comments. Unable to tell him the truth I told him sometimes I remembered my old life before he came along. He asks if it was good and I tell him yes, but not as good as when he came into my life. He's grown used to my small stages of remembering and knows just to keep to himself until it passes.

"Are you remembering Daddy?"

The words pierce me, but I don't let on. Stephen does not know his father and I am certain he never will. "Yes," I say in a small voice. "You look just like him, you know that?" I bop his thin nose with my finger and he giggles.

Standing up, I make my way to the hall. "C'mon, I'll make you breakfast then we can go to the zoo." He runs ahead of me to the kitchen, scrambling into one of the chairs around our tall table. Even though I might miss Jace more than I would like to admit I cannot deny one thing.

Our son is the best thing that ever happened to me.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

I hold Stephen's hand as we walk through the exhibits, watching the monkeys swing and the lemurs leap from tree to tree. He loves the small furry creatures and constantly asks if we can take one home. I casually remind him I already have one monkey in my house and don't need another. He cries with indignation.

"Did they have monkeys in New York?" Stephen asks, licking around the edge of his ice cream cone. He is completey absorbed in their movements. I recognize his intelligent gaze- its another trait of his father.

"At the zoo they did." I remember visiting the zoo with Simon when we were younger. It had always bored me for some reason. Luke and my mother had insisted on taking us anyways.

My heart twists. _Luke. _I wonder how he's holding up. I can just imagine how worried he is. My mother would be a whole different level of frantic. In Magnus's letters he had told me that she hadn't stopped pestering him to track her. He had lied for me, saying I had placed a rune open myself that made me impossible to track. I knew she wouldn't approve of me giving birth to and keeping Stephen and that made it a little easier to not miss her.

We stroll around for a couple more hours before Stephen gets tired. I carry him to the small, crappy car my wage provided us. Even doing art on the side wasn't enough to get us a high class vehicle but at least we had a place to stay.

Driving home I notice something peculiar on the inside of my wind shield wiper. Pulling into the parking lot of our building, I clamber out, unsticking the object. It's a note.

_Clary, _it reads at the top in bold sloppy lettering. Not from Magnus. _Don't ask how I found you. Don't be mad at me either but I already booked a flight. I'm landing at 3:35 your time. Magnus sent this for me and he says not to be mad at him either. We seriously need to talk about something. -Is _

Something burns in my chest and I am not sure if it is anger or worry. Inside the car Stephen is stirring, rubbing his hands against his eyes. He's awake. I frantically think of my options. I can't leave him alone at the house. Goodness knows what he'd get into. Climbing back into the car, I tuck the note into my pocket. His regular babysitter, Joan who lives across the hall, cannot take him while I get Isabelle either. It's a Sunday and she'll be volunteering with the church.

I have no choice but to bring him with me.

"Mommy? Can we go inside?" Stephen's sleepy voice comes from the back seat. I hear him fumbling in his car seat.

I look at him in the mirror and paint on a false smile. "Not yet. We need to go to the airport first."

He tips his head to the side, his beautiful blond curls contrasting against his dark blue sweater. "The airport? Where the big planes go? Why are we going there?"

"Mommy's friend is coming to stay for a while." I explain as we merge into the traffic. I try to keep my head clear as we drive. The last thing I need is to get too caught up in my feelings and risk us both getting injured.

"A friend from New York? Are we going to New York?" The question makes my pulse freeze.

I shake my head, my red hair falling around my eyes. "We're staying right here Steph." I answer as solidly as I can. That is one thing I used to be dead sure of. I would never go home. Never. But now with Isabelle just minutes away I couldn't be so sure.

Things were changing much too fast. I didn't like it.

* * *

When we get into the airport Isabelle's plane has already landed. I jostle for a place to park. Stephen is hyped up, craning his head left and right. Every female that walks past he assumes is Isabelle.

"Is that Izzerbelle?" He asks, pointing at a dark haired woman leaning against the wall, her slim hand holding onto a sleek black suitcase. To anyone walking past she might seem relaxed but I can tell the difference. She's tense, ready to flee. My heart pounds at the sight of her.

"Stay put," I murmur to Stephen, sliding out of the car. I walk slowly towards the woman, my heart in my throat. It doesn't take her long to notice me, black eyes widening. She mouths my name then begins to move towards me.

When she reaches me her thin arms trap me and she crushes me against her chest. She's still taller than me, although I'm about five-three now. I had a final growth spurt before giving birth to Stephen.

"It's been so long," Is whispers, taking me in. I let my eyes wash over her too. I may not admit it but I had been starving to see one of my old friends.

"Yes, it is," I answer. I reach out, taking her suit case. "My car's down here," I lead her down the line of cars, shoving her suit case in the trunk. She waits for me to unlock the door and then climbs into the front seat.

It takes all of five seconds for Stephen to announce himself. I close my eyes as he speaks, waiting for the axe to fall. "Hi Izzerbelle!"

Isabelle whips around in her seat, mouth dropping. "Jace," she whispers under her breath. Hearing her say the name - _his _name - is almost too much. I tense up, slamming the car into gear.

Stephen chatters to Isabelle all the way back to apartment but eventually grows quiet when I hand him a granola bar. Isabelle takes his silence as a time to attack.

"He's Jace's," she mutters under her breath. I nod curtly. "Figured. He looks just like him. How old...?"

"He'll be five in two weeks," I cast a glance at him in the back seat. He is busy eating the granola bar, making the rapper fly along the buildings and cars we pass. Isabelle's dark eyebrows narrow. "He was born premature."

It so happened that I had went into labor early. After a long hard fight, Stephen had been born on January 14th. The same birthday as his father. It was ironic that the identical boys had the same birthday. It had made forgetting Jace that much harder.

Isabelle looks at him for the thousandth time, shaking her head slightly. "I had no idea you went through with this. He's beautiful," she adds, almost as an afterthought. "What's his name?"

"Stephen," I sigh, "Stephen Lucian Herondale." My boy's golden eyes flick up to meet mine in the mirror. They are Jace's eyes, and for a moment I am lost in the memory of my former love. But the moment passes and I'm back in the car with Isabelle.

Its time to face my past.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three **

Isabelle settles onto the worn couch that takes up most of my shoe box sized living room. Stephen disappears into his room where I leave his DVD player running. I hope it keeps him occupied long enough for me and Isabelle to talk.

"Is there anything I can get you?" I ask, my voice colder than I intended. She shakes her head, uncoiling the series of gold bands around her wrist that aren't bands but a shimmering whip. Her weapon of choice. It seems that has stayed the same in my absence.

"I'm going to pour myself a coffee," I announce, padding quietly to the kitchen. Whiskers, the stray kitten who had lived outside my coffee shop and I'd taken pity on, was curled in a shaft of sunlight. The fluffy brown tabby reminded me of Church, the cantankerous intelligent cat that inhabited the Institute.

Taking as much time as possible, I finally returned to the living room. Settling onto the couch cushion beside her I let out a breath. "So..."

"There's been a string of murders, Clary," Isabelle blurts. Always one to cut right to the chase. "In New York. There's been a few Downworlder cases-"

My throat tightens. Catching my expression she swears softly under her breath. "Nobody we know. Simon's safe. So is Luke."

"Jordan? Maia?" I prompt, unable to help myself.

"Both safe," she looks away then focuses on the opposite wall. "But the majority of the deaths are Shadowhunters. Four dead so far and two missing. All from New York and the surrounding areas."

It feels like she's sucker punched me right in the stomach. So many people I care about that could be unsafe...I can't bring myself to imagine. "What's..." she senses what I'm trying to ask.

"The bodies are found in green spaces around the city. Throats slit, the entire body drained of blood. It's not the vampires or any other Downworlders. Demons aren't entirely ruled out but we don't suspect them. And there's another thing."

I wait for her to continue, my pulse beating so fast I can hear it in my ears. "What other thing?"

"The Shadowhunter bodies. They all have their hand severed. Cut clean.

The detail confuses me at first. What business would a murderer have with slicing up limbs? Finally it hits. Sebastian.

Sebastian is back and at large. Killing people. Putting the ones I loved in danger.

I'm filled with an overwhelming urge to run to Stephen's room, to make sure he's fine. A crazy relief floods me that we left the city when we did but it passes. Us leaving didn't bring anyone else out of danger.

"You came all this way just to tell me there's been murders going on?" I ask as coldly as I can muster. My tone is not convincing. Isabelle sees right through me.

"I came to tell you that you need to come home. It's been far too long, Clary. You can't run from your past forever." I don't want to listen to this. Don't want to acknowledge she's right. "Besides, you coming home would be a lot safer. For you and Stephen."

I shift, racking my brain for excuses. I have pitiful ones. "I built a life here, Is. I can't just up and leave."

"Yes you can. The coffee shop will find some teenager looking for extra money. A college student looking for a place to stay will take this place. Stephen can begin proper schooling at the Institue-"

"Maybe I don't want him to become a Shadowhunter," I say under my breath.

Isabelle shakes her head. "Thats ridiculous. That boy's blood has double the angel blood that you have. He will be extremely gifted. Who knows what talents-"

"Don't speak about Stephen like that. Please. He's only a baby still." I close my eyes, unable to imagine my innocent little boy killing things or wielding a seraph blade. I wonder if that's how all parents imagine their child- forever a baby.

Isabelle gives me a small smile but I cannot read her eyes. "He won't be forever, and you know it. Besides, don't you think he might want to meet his father?"

_Jace. _Oh, god. My chest tightens at the mere thought of facing him again. I do not know if I am strong enough. Isabelle lays a hand on my knee, squeezing gently. She says nothing but I know what she is thinking.

"When's the next flight?" I ask, voice cracking. I cannot believe I am doing this. It still hasn't sunk in yet.

Isabelle checks her watch. "Tonight, at two. If I call now we can reserve seats." Isabelle looks at me expectantly. I nod once, directing her with a finger to the phone on the wall. I stand, making my way numbly down the hall.

I have to break the news to Stephen.

Stepping into his room, I take in the small bed, littered with crayons and toy cars. Stephen lays on the end, absorbed in the blue DVD player. I sit beside him, rubbing his small back.

"Hi," he says, voice distant.

"What're you watching?" I ask, but I'm not interested. He flips onto his back, looking up at me. Isabelle was right. Already he is lean and quick, movements too fluid for a little boy. I touch the star shaped mark on his shoulder, the same as his father's. The mark that shows someone in his line has been touched by an angel.

"Cars," he says simply. I smile at him, and he smiles back. His smile is so similar to Jace's that it is painful.

"Listen to Mommy for a second, okay?" I try to make my voice light but he isn't fooled. His long eyelashes flutter against his cheek. "We need to go away for a while."

"Are we in trouble? Have we been bad?" His little voice is scared, and that hurts. I never want him to be afraid, no matter what.

I shake my head. "No, we haven't been bad. We're just going on a vacation. We'rforgoing to meet all new people." _A long vacation. _"We're going to go on a plane!"

"Is Izzerbelle coming?" His small voice peaks with excitement.

I nod. "Yes, Isabelle is coming with us. We'll need to pack some of our stuff. Do you wanna help?" He nods, leaping to his feet and all but diving into his closet.

If only he knew what we were going to actually do. Stephen was doing what I had never wanted him to do.

He was going to meet his father.


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four **

The flight to JKF seems brutally short, as if one minute I was helping Stephen onto the plane and into his seat and the next we were touching down. We sit three across, Stephen wedged between me and the window so he can watch everything that happens. It doesn't matter because he shortly falls asleep, my arm cradling his blond head. A friendly stewardess makes a soft noise at the sight of him sleeping and asks if we need anything in a hushed voice. I shake my head and she leaves.

I owe this entirely to Isabelle. When I had managed to round Stephen and his Spiderman suitcase full of clothes and toys up she had dug in her pockets, producing two fake pass ports and enough money to pay for our plane tickets plus a hotel if we needed it. "Magnus," she had explained with a roll of her eyes, as if what he had done was totally normal. I suppose it was for him.

When the plane taxi's to a stop, engines purring to a stop, I lightly shake Stephen's shoulder. He stirs, golden eyes confused. "We're here, baby," I whisper, reaching below me to unwedge his jacket from under the seat. By the time people start flowing out of the aircraft and into the airport we are ready to go.

I wish with everything in me that this wasn't happening. It's too late now.

Isabelle collects our luggage while I walk with a sleepy Stephen back and forth along the strip that the luggage conveyor belts reside on. He is quiet, which is unusual for him. A few minutes later a hassled looking Isabelle reappears, carting three bulky suitcases and a disgruntled pink carrier that held Whiskers. He lets out a pitiful meow as we make our way to the revolving doors.

I am barely awake as Isabelle marches us into a taxi, slipping bills into the driver's hand. The lights and sounds of my home flash past me but I cannot look. Won't look. Not until I have to.

We eventually roll to a stop in front of a familiar apartment. Isabelle, seemingly never tired, helps me unload a sleeping Stephen and we thank our driver before climbing the steps to the front door. Inside it is just as I remembered it to be, down to the last detail.

Another piece of my past is waiting for us at the end of the hall. Magnus. A slow smile tugs his mouth up, but there is nothing joking in his cat eyes.

He openly pulls me into a hug, and I can smell sandalwood on him. He's recently showered but you could never tell from his perfectly arranged hair. "It's so good to see you again," he murmurs into my hair.

"It's even better to see you," I return, finally pulling away. "How've you been? Long time no see," I try out the joke and surprisingly he laughs.

"All is well with me, Clarissa Fray. But as for you? Well, I suppose I'm not the only one who'd love to hear. Come in," he waves his hand at the open door.

Isabelle scoots inside. I hesitate, meeting his eyes. "Is...he here?"

Magnus shakes his head. "He has no idea."

"But Alec-"

"He's away at the moment. Due to return anytime now, actually," he looks away thoughtfully then back at me. "Before we go in, may I ask you something?"

I nod. He gives me a wane smile but his attention is on the almost asleep boy clinging to my leg. "What's his name?"

"Stephen," I murmur, smoothing his curls. "Stephen Lucian."

"Ah, after Jace's father and your father. How lovely." Mistaking my paled face for exhaustion, Magnus ushers me inside. Our suitcases disappear with a snap of his fingers. To different spare bedrooms I assume. Whiskers lets out a yowl, sprinting for the darkness of the love seat tucked in the corner.

I notice the figure sitting on the couch and barely have time to duck before he launches into me. Simon. He is cold, but I feel warm in his hug. _Simon. _

"Clary," he breathes, as if unable to believe I'm right in front of him. "I knew you would come home. I knew it."

"Hey, Si," I breathe back, resting my face against his chest. "I missed you."

He kisses my forehead and then politely steps away. "I missed you too. You have no idea how much I'd love to stay and talk but I'm..." he rubs his throat, looking embarrassed. He exchanges a look with Magnus then steps around him, trying to locate his coat. Of course. He's hungry.

A small hand tugs on my jeans. "Mommy, who's that?"

I can feel everyone in the room freeze before I look at them. Isabelle, who has flopped onto the couch with a purring Chairman Meow, shoots me a panicked look. Simon knows nothing about Stephen, and he's hungry.

"That's Magnus, Steph. He's gonna let us stay here for a while. And that's mommy's friend Simon."

"He looks sad," Stephen concludes, head tipped to the side as he studies Simon. "Are you sad?"

Simon shoots me a look that says a thousand things at once, but manages to answer Stephen. "No, I'm not sad. I'm just hungry. _Very _hungry." Simon steps around the door, slamming it with a bang. I groan, closing my eyes. I should've known he wouldn't take it well. Although he claimed to love Isabelle I knew there was a small part of Simon inside him that loved me and that always would. And seeing me with the miniature verison of Jace clinging to me could only mean one thing. It had hurt him.

Maybe seeing Stephen would finally destroy that last shard of love and let us live as just friends.

I know that that would be too much to hope for.

* * *

**Simon POV **

I walk mindlessly through the city, unable to concentrate or focus. I had imagined Clary returning home for years. How she'd fall into my arms, how her familiar smell would engulf me and she'd be so glad to see me again. And how some small speck of me hoped she was over Jace Herondale once and for all and that even though I had Isabelle, even though I did love her very much, I would possibly have a chance with Clary.

But no.

It had seemed to good to be true until my eyes has fell on the small child clinging to my best friend. With his golden curls and pale gold eyes it wasn't hard to tell who he belonged to. He was Jace's, and I knew then that I had no chance in the world.

Clary was just another case of teenage pregnancy gone wrong.

Pushing the door open to the building I had come to, I slide inside. The smell of food frying and blood waiting makes my stomach growl. Taki's.

Settling into an empty booth, I wait until a waitress comes over. She is a small thing, faerie perhaps, with pointy eyes and pale purple skin. "What can I get you?" She asks in a melodic voice.

I order blood straight, not caring that people will know I'm a vampire. After all, it was only a few short years ago that the Mark of Cain had rested in the space between my eyebrows and I'd been known throughout the city. Even though the mark was gone I still held some of its powers. I could walk in daylight without burning to a crisp, and that alone was extremely convenient.

When it arrives I down it in one gulp, the tingling feeling of being recently fed spreading through me. I place an order for another one with the waitress then lean back in the chair, eyes closed. If I am going to be around Clary's kid, I'll need to be well fed. Not only does it keep the hunger away but I was sharper, more quick when I had blood in my system.

Weight falls into the booth seat across from me. My eyes snap open, distaste turning my stomach. I don't want to do this right now.

"Please," I beg, closing my eyes again, "leave so I don't have to deal with you. I don't have the patience."

A smug laugh echoes out of the man, but it's empty. I know his heart stopped beating right the minute she left. I also know he stopped feeling anything after she left. He's broken. "Now now, Simon, is that any way to greet a friend?"

"I didn't know we considered ourselves friends, Jace," I mutter acidily. Clary had only ever been the thing we had agreed on. We'd both wanted to keep her safe. Keep her happy. When she left I had dropped contact with him. Why keep it when he was grieving and all he would do is remind me of my missing best friend?

Jace is quiet, undoubtedly scowling. "I suppose you're right. But you do owe me to at least be friendly towards me. I did save your life."

He has a point. I open my eyes, slouching forward as I cross my arms. "Fine. What do you want?"

Something flickers in his eyes, but it fades. I know what he wants. Clary. "Nothing you can provide me with. Except a lame bit of company."

Anger bubbles in me. We've both been hurt by the same girl. We do have something in common. I quirk an eyebrow. "I could also give you information. There's something you might want to see at Magnus's apartment."

Jace turns his nose up. "If it has anything to do with him or Alec in drag I am most definitely not interested in seeing it."

"Ha ha wise guy," I mutter dryly. "No, it's nothing like that. In fact, it's a someone, not a something."

Something burns in his gaze. "She's not back," he mutters, but its more to himself then to me. "She's never coming back."

"Clary is back, and she has your son with her," I finish, waiting for his response.

He pales, then looks at me slowly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she has your baby at Magnus's right now. She came home today."

"No," Jace swears under his breath. "No. Not with what's been happening lately. I can't protect her. She hates me. I can't-"

And he's gone, bursting into a dead sprint. Even with my heightened senses he is out of my sight range in seconds. I wonder briefly if I did the right thing. It hadn't seemed like clary was dying to see Jace. But what do I know?

As I drink my second blood cup I don't notice the white haired man across the bar smile, his black eyes widening. He is heavily glamoured, but he can still hear everything.

Sebastian knew his sister was back too. It was time.


	6. Chapter Five

** ((I just noticed I made a mistake on the spelling of JFK in the last chapter and I apologize))**

* * *

**Chapter Five **

Clary's POV

_In my dream I am walking along a beach, the water that laps at it pitch black. It licks at the beach with a hungry rhythm. Something about it feels sinister. A cold breeze tickles my neck, causing my hair to stand on edge._

_A child is playing in the black surf, his white blond hair tugged on by the wind. I hesitate, feet squishing in the clammy grey sand. I feel like I know this boy._

_As I approach, the child turns his head. He has a thin face and a turned down mouth. His eyes are pitch black._

_"Mom?" He asks in a small sing-song voice. _Stephen's _voice. "Mommy what's wrong?"_

_The scream builds slowly, then erupts all at once. A high pitched, searing, terrified scream. This is not my son. This is not my little boy. It's a demon, a second Sebastian-_

I jolt awake, breathing heavily. I am wrapped in my blankets, hair a wild tangle around me. Whiskers is a small ball of fluff at the end of my bed, but he is wide awake.

And hissing.

I make out a shadow at the end of my room, and prepare to call out to Magnus who is awake and reading just down the hall. Too quickly it moves. Blond hair flashes in the weak light coming from the window as a musclar body lands on mine, pinning me down in seconds.

I am shamefully out of practice and cannot fight my attacker off. For a moment my heart sinks. Sebastian has come to finish me off and there is nothing I can do.

Then I see a glint of gold and a chipped incisor.

I collect my fist and swing with all my might.

"_Fuck_!" Jace yells, but it is not loud enough. There are no sounds of foot steps in the hallway, no calls of questioning. I am trapped.

He rubs his face slowly, wincing when he wipes away a smear of blood. "What the hell was that for?"

I struggle to escape from underneath him, but it does nothing. His hips press my own into the bed, weight crushing me. I shoot him my best glare. "For attacking me, that's what! Get off me," I threaten under my breath. I am not sure why I am keeping quiet. It's not like I want this to go undiscovered.

"Not a chance," he shifts so some of his weight is off me. His skin is hot but wet, as if he's been running for a long time in the rain. Judging by his shallow breathes I'm probably right. "We need to talk."

"Actually we don't. I'm done speaking to you. Did I not make that clear five years ago?" A look of pain blossoms in his eyes and his mouth hardens. I've managed to make him mad. Great.

His eyes burn into mine. "Listen, Clary. I haven't seen you in years. For all I had known you were dead. I tried looking for you. Hell, I never stopped until Magnus told me to. But I never stopped..." he swallows, looking away.

"Never stopped what?" I ask, not cutting him a break. I am determined to feel no sympathy for him. Not after what he said.

"Loving you."

The words cut, and despite myself I suck in a breath. I had always thought that he had stopped caring when I left. I didn't know...

When I don't answer, he hesitantly reaches out, fingers barely touching my cheek. "Say something," he begs.

"I have nothing to say," I choke the words out.

He looks taken aback, but it doesn't stop him from doing what he does. After all, who can stop Jace Herondale? Aligning his body with mine, he lays down,pressing his mouth to mine.

I am exploded into a world of memories. Everything comes back to me, from the pressure of his lips to the gentle touch of his hand against my cheek. He kisses me slowly, as if savoring the moment.

And I...I kiss him back.

My mouth opens under his, body arching up to press against his. It's been so long since I've kissed anyone, so long since I've felt anything like this. I knot my fingers in his curls, which are damp with rain water.

When I finally pull away, I can barely breathe. Using what will power I have left, I push him away. He looks lost, eyes still consumed with a burning hunger. "Please leave," I whisper, looking away from him to the open window.

"Clary," he begs, voice breaking. "I'm sorry for how I acted. I just want-"

"Go home Jace." I repeat, more firm this time. His eyes meet mine, pleading. Begging. I can see then that his words are sincere. Somehow he still loves me.

And somehow I can't bring myself to let him stay. Because if I do I will want to kiss him until all the anger I've built surrounding him in the past years will melt away.

I'll feel what I can't afford to feel.

"If you want to find me you know where I am," he says in a broken voice, dangling his leg over the window sill. He pauses for a moment, something unspoken in his eyes. "Oh, Clary? One more thing."

I look up at him, feeling completely drained.

"I'd like to meet our son."


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six **

The next morning I am drowned in a splitting headache. Magnus makes us all a strong cup of tea and we crowd around his living room, the bags under our eyes stating that all of us had a fairly sleepless night. All except for Stephen. He is like a ray of moving sunshine in the apartment, flickering between me and Magnus, who amuses him greatly by creating blue and green sparks off the tips of his fingers.

"'Gain!" Stephen demands excitedly, his small hands balancing on Magnus's knees. He watches with wide eyes as the warlock snaps his fingers, creating a shower of tiny blue sparkles that rain over my son's hair. He squeals with excitement, looking over his shoulder to see if I noticed. I smile to let him know I did.

Simon is not back yet, and I am not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad one. Isabelle assures me that he does this often and that he'll show up whenever he's ready to show up. In the mean time, I am busy mulling over the events of last night. I cannot decide if I am willing to take my son to the place that had caused me so much pain all those years ago.

My thoughts are interrupted when the door swings open. In storms a man, his black hair cropped short, blue eyes blazing. They fall on me instead of Magnus, and I shiver involuntarily. Alec Lightwood.

"Well what do we have here," he comments in a dry tone, shucking his boots off. Magnus, who was busy making tiny green butterflies hover around Stephen's head, shoots him a glare. It appears to be a warning. "If it isn't little miss Run-Away. Finally decided to come back and grace us with your presence?"

"Shut up, Alec!" Isabelle spits, her tone colder then ice.

Frightened by her shouting, Stephen backs up, stumbling over himself. I catch him before he can fall, picking him up and sitting him beside me on the couch. He cuddles into me, eyeing Alec with fear. I wrap my arms around him reflexively, shielding him.

Snorting, Alec stalks forward, arms crossed over his chest. Not much has changed about him since I've been gone. He's still a cold, arrogant asshat. He is one of the few people I did not have a hard time forgetting. I never fully understood why Jace would pick him as his parabatai when he was so bitter.

"And you brought the kid- even better." He grumpily sits on the arm of the chair Magnus sits tensely in. Stephen, who is usually so eager to meet new people, whimpers in fear. He hides his face into my side, only a sliver of his golden eye visible. I watch as he picks a stele out of his pocket, inking a rune into his arm. A stamina ruin. I notice then the horrendous bags under his eyes- they're almost as black as his hair.

I wonder when the last time he slept was.

Gripping his boyfriend's knee, Magnus looks into Alec's face. "Maybe you should head upstairs. You need some rest," his voice is filled with worry. It's easy to see how much he cares about the young Shadowhunter. Alec covers his hand, gripping it briefly. He shakes his head, his slightly longer bangs falling into his eyes.

"I was hunting with Jace," he announces, eyes meeting him. There is a glint of knowing in them. Almost imperceptibly I raise an eyebrow in response. "There's been another murder. This one closer to the Institute."

Isabelle swears softly under her breath and I dig my elbow into her, nodding my chin at Stephen. He looks confused by the majority of the words he's hearing. I am deeply thankful for I don't need him repeating any swear words the next time his DVD player freezes up. "Who was it?" I ask, feeling small with worry.

"Sam Jones," he says, as if I should know the name. The only one who responds is Magnus, who shakes his head slightly. "One of Luke's pack. A young wolf, only joined in the last few years. Luke's pretty torn up about it."

I can just imagine. Suddenly I feel very unsafe. Even though I am rooming with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, someone managed to break in last night, even if it was only Jace. With Sebastian at large I couldn't afford any security risks. I know then what I have to do.

"I'm going to use the washroom," I announce, standing quickly. Alec rises seconds after I do, following me briskly down the hall. When I get to the first bedroom door he catches my wrist, pulling me inside.

My back collides with the wall roughly, Alec's hands on my shoulders pressing me down. His eyes stare into mine with a burning intensity. "I know he was here last night. I also know how scared you are by the string of murders. You know what you have to do."

I look away from him, but he tips my chin up, forcing me to. "I don't _have _to do anything. In fact, if I wished to, I could return to Oklahoma today. I only agreed to come here because-"

Alec laughs. "Because what, Clary Fray? Because you were worried about _Isabelle? Magnus? Simon? _We all know who you really came back for, and he's dying to talk to you. Literally." His voice catches on the last word and I can hear the genuine worry for his parabatai. I wonder what it was like living with Jace in my absence. Magnus had given me a short form, cutting the details. Jace had been dark at first, lashing out at anyone who came too close. Then he had become numb, caring about nothing and nobody.

"What if I don't want to talk to him, Alec Lightwood? Did that ever cross your mind?"

"You owe it to him to at least sort things out. Either pull the band-aid off or make up with him, Clary. You don't know how much this has changed him. He's broken. But he will understand if you want nothing to do with him. Just talk to him. Please. I'm begging you, and I don't beg."

Alec's words are sincere, and by the Angel do they guilt trip me. I sigh, my shoulders rolling in. "Fine. I'll talk to him. But if he says one wrong thing, I am out of there. Gone home. And I expect no more contact. Do you hear me?"

He nods curtly, looking solemn. "You have more word."

"Good," I push at his hands, and they fall away. "Now if you don't mind, I am going to use the washroom for real this time."

* * *

We arrive at the Institute an hour later, Alec bundled in a fashionable leather jacket that I can only assume Magnus picked out for him. After a lengthy talk we all agreed that it would be safer for Stephen and I to move into the Institute, at least until the murder situation got a new lead. After all, it was the safest place in the city to be. We would be staying across the hall from Isabelle- far away from Jace's bedroom.

Alec lets us in, and we all clamber into the elevator. It has not been updated in the year's I've been gone and still rattles and groans as we make our way up into the building. Maryse Lightwood welcomes us when the doors glide open, her breath catching in her throat when her eyes land on Stephen.

"Jace," she whispers, lowering herself to her knees. I see the tears glistening in her eyes. Stephen watches her with a curious look.

"Say hi," I instruct him and he does so. Maryse smiles at him, opening her arms. He walks forward, letting her hug him. When she lets go, he walks back to me, reaching for my hand.

"It's so nice to see you both," Maryse smiles. "I'm sure you remember your way around so I'll leave you be. If you need me I'll be in the library." I nod, offering her a smile as she walks away. Alec trails after her, leaving only Isabelle with us.

We walk through the halls, eventually coming to the room we will be staying in. It's light and cheery, complete with a larger double bed and a smaller single tucked into the corner. Stephen dutifully places his suitcase on top of the smaller bed, clambering onto it so he can gaze out the window. New York was provided constant amusement for him. He loves the constant movement of cars and pedestrians throughout the never sleeping city.

Noticing my far away look, Isabelle clears her throat. I turn to look at her, mind a million miles away. It is so strange to be back in the Institute, this time with my own baby. I never imagined this happening, yet it is. It's still too much to process.

"I'll stay here with him," she murmurs, indicating Stephen. "I might take him for a tour if you don't mind. I'm sure he'll like Church," I remember the fluffy cat who patrols the halls of the Institute and can just imagine Stephen's fascination with him. "You know, if you need to go do things."

She stresses do things so that it takes on a meaning of it's own. I know what she means, and I am not sure whether to be grateful for her offering to watch my son or afraid of what's about to happen. I haven't had a real conversation with Jace in years. I don't know what to expect.

"Thanks," I mutter at last, placing a kiss on Stephen's cheek before I leave the room. I walk down the hall, taking lefts and rights out of memory. All too soon I come to the familiar door. Jace's room.

I hesitate, unsure whether to knock or just go in. I decide on the latter, turning the knob. It can't be awkward- I've seen the man butt naked before so walking into his bedroom unannounced can't be that big of a deal.

"You said you-" my words come to a halt as I shut the door behind me. Jace is laying on his bed, face turned towards the door. He is fast asleep, back rising and falling evenly as he slumbers. I walk forward as quietly as I can, settling onto the corner of his bed. He doesn't wake.

As he sleeps, I take in the small details about him that had blurred lightly over time. The way his eyelashes flicker against his skin when his eyes move in his sleep. The tiny star shaped scar that Stephen also bears, just visible underneath his shirt collar. How when the light hits his hair it shines as gold as anything. The pain he wears as a permanent expression fades while he is asleep, but the dark rings under his eyes are still there. Right now, as I watch him sleep soundlessly, he could easily be the boy I had fallen in love with all those years ago.

But he's not, I remind myself. Times have changed and so has our relationship. His feelings may still remain intact, but I am very unsure about mine. I spent so long trying to hate him that I had forgotten what loving him was like.

I don't know if I'd be willing to try again.

As if sensing something is different, his eyelids flutter, a slight noise escaping his lips. Without thinking I reach out, twining his thin fingers with my own. His eyes open, slowly at first then all at once.

"Mmph," he mutters into his pillow, a nostalgic grin crossing his face. "This is definitely a dream."

"No, it's not," I say softly. "It's real."

He yawns, flashing his nearly perfect teeth. His hand pulls away from mine as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I feel guilty for waking him up when he seemed so peaceful, but I promised Alec to at least try to talk to him, and I don't like breaking my promises. Not if I can help it.

"So you came," he says at last, looking at me cautiously. I nod. "I'm guessing this means you want to talk?"

"Not really," I confess, letting him take my hand again. It's comforting. Reassuring. "Alec talked me into it. Said I owed you at least this."

Jace shakes his head. "Technically you don't owe me a thing. I was an absolute asshole to you. It'd be better if you did hate me. Maybe then I could convince myself to move on."

"You were an ass," I agree, "and that's why I left. I had to. I don't expect you to understand."

"You're right. I don't. But I'm willing to try, if you'll let me," his eyelashes flutter, giving him an innocent look. "Please Clary. Just talk to me. If I mean anything to you-"

I hold up my free hand to silence him. "Don't start with any of that, Jace. I'm not here to talk about feelings. I'm here to talk about what happened. About our son."

A look flashes across Jace's angular face. "Our son..." he shakes his head, face going white. "He's five years old and I don't even know his name. I'm a disgusting excuse of a father."

"Four," I correct softly. "He'll be five in two weeks." Jace's eyes meet mine, a small interest brimming in them. "He has your birthday." A low groan escapes his lips and he closes his eyes, as if I've caused him pain. Almost as if I can't stop myself I begin to gush about Stephen. "I named him after your father and Luke. Stephen Lucian Herondale. He is identical to you, down to the shape of his eyes and the texture of his hair. He's so smart already, you wouldn't believe it. He is so tender and gentle and kind. I love him more than anything in this whole world."

Jace squeezes my hand. "I want to meet him," he says, voice husky. "I want to know the little boy who's been without a father his whole life all thanks to his shitty excuse of a dad messing everything up before he even came into the world. I want him to know I'm sorry."

"Stop calling yourself that," I scold, surprising myself. "You cannot call yourself a poor father if you haven't even tried." I quickly cover my outburst of emotion with a shake of my head. I get to my feet, pulling Jace with me. "Come on, we have plenty of time to talk after."

"It's time you meet our son."


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven **

We walk through the Institute, Jace strolling beside me with his hands in his pockets. Neither of us have much to say and it's easier that way. Gives me time to think. I stop when a fluffy blue creature arrives in front of me, tail up and waving.

"Hey, Church," I bend down, scratching the cat behind his ears. He makes a choking sound, wiggling out from my hands and stalking over to Jace. He smirks smugly, watching the cat wind between his legs as it purrs. I cross my arms. "I thought he was supposed to be friendly?"

"He is," Jace replies, rubbing the cat momentarily before standing up. "But after all I _am _incredibly attractive, and he can probably sense that. Makes more sense that he'd come to me."

I roll my eyes, forgetting just how cocky Jace could be. He laughs, then nudges the cat in my direction, who looks disgruntled. I meet his yellow glare. "Where are Isabelle and Ste-" I don't finish my question before he begins to trot off, waving his tail like a flag. I follow, Jace walking closer this time.

We come to a halt at the library. How ironic. The place where it all ended its all about to begin. I turn to look at Jace and he looks as if he wishes to throw up in the potted plant outside the door.

I rest a hand on his arm briefly. "I'll go in first," I explain. "Tell him what's going on. Then I'll call for you, alright?" He nods, eyes darker. I'm not sure if this is because of the lighting or if he is truley that afraid of meeting his son.

Church was spot on as usual. Stephen is sitting on the floor in front of a chair, his head cupped in his hands as he listens to Isabelle read. I walk towards him, doing my best to keep quiet, but he hears me. He grins, forgetting the book Isabelle is holding, and sprints towards me. I catch him as he crashes ungracefully into my knees.

"Guess what?" He exclaims, looking up at me.

"What?" I ask, a smile digging its way out and onto my face. It's a natural reaction to being around Stephen. He never fails to make my day better.

"Izzerbelle was reading to me! I was learning all about these things called hair wolves!"

"Werewolves," I correct, ruffling his hair. "How nice of Isabelle to read to you," I shoot her a look and she smiles sheepishly. Of all things she just had to read him something that a typical Shadowhunter child might listen to.

Isabelle stands up, placing the book in the fold of the chair. She pauses to hug Stephen before quickly making her way out of the library. Its time. I sit in the same chair Isabelle had, holding Stephen's small hands in my own.

"There's someone very special here to see you," I tell him, and he eagerly looks around the library in response. When he sees nobody he turns to glance at me. I see the confusion in his eyes. They look like liquid gold in the light that wafts gently into the library. "He's just outside the door."

"Can I go get him?" Stephen asks innocently. I think about what Jace would say if his own son came to get him and decide against it. I don't need him adding more potential swear words to Stephen's vocabulary.

I shake my head and his face falls. "It's very important we're on our best behavior when he comes in, okay?"

Stephen nods. "Is he one of your friends, Mommy? I don't like your scary friend," I wince. He must mean Simon.

"Yes, he's one of my very good friends. And I promise he's not scary." Offering him a smile I look to the door. It's open lightly and I wonder how much Jace has heard. Probably all of it. "Jace," I call, waiting with my breath held.

Jace steps in, shutting the door behind him softly. As we walks toward us I notice he is carefully only looking at me. His hands clench and unclench at his sides. He's nervous.

With a practiced grace he settles into the chair beside me. I try not to react to the contact, of how it feels to be so close to him. I fail, shivering lightly. His hand twitches and I wonder if he's noticed.

"Hi," Stephen pipes up, looking at Jace with clear interest. Jace closes his eyes, opening them slowly. He looks at Stephen for the first time.

A strangled exclamation of breath moves past his chapped lips. His mouth hangs open and for a moment I'm worried he'll die of shock or something. I nudge his knee with my own. "Go on," I whisper, tilting my chin towards Stephen. "Say hi."

"Hello," he manages at last, voice flat. Stephen doesn't take this negatively, walking towards him instead. He rests his hands on Jace's knees, looking up at him like he had done with Magnus only a few hours ago. Jace bites his lip.

"Do you do magic like the other guy?" Stephen asks in an excited voice. I resist the urge to giggle at Jace's helpless expression. He is lost.

"No, I'm afraid I don't do magic," he replies, hesitantly covering Stephen's tiny hands with his own. They both have thin hands with long fingers. Musician hands. A noise like a suppressed sob falls out of Jace.

"So what's your name?" Stephen is clearly interested in Jace. This is a good thing. When I break the news maybe it won't hit him as hard.

Jace pauses, looking at me with a question in his eyes. I shrug, letting him know it's up to him. "My name's Jace," he answers. "Jace Herondale."

"That's my name too!" Stephen exclaims. "Well, I'm Stephen Herondale, but that's a little bit the same!"

Jace smiles at him, and it's a real smile. I wonder how long it's been since he smiled like that. The answer leaves me with a dull ache in my chest. "We even look a little bit alike," he offers cautiously, clearly wanting to leave me be the one to break the news to our son.

Stephen looks at Jace, taking in his similar golden hair and eyes. I wonder if he realizes just how much they look alike. "We do," he whispers, as if its a big secret.

When his eyes turn towards me I know it's coming. "Mom? How come Jace looks like me?"

I reach over, taking one of Jace's hands in my own and one of Stephen's in the other. "Stephen, honey, you look alike because you're related," the words don't seem to click. Jace sucks in a breath, waiting for the shoe to drop. "Jace is your father, baby."

"Father?" Stephen looks confused, setting his gaze on Jace. "You mean, a daddy? I never had one of those."

Jace clears his throat. "Well, you do now. If you'd like to have one. Me, I mean."

Stephen is quiet, then tears his hand out of mine and reaches out to point at Jace. "Will you read me books?"

"Any books you want," Jace says.

"And will you tuck me in instead of Mrs. Joan's when Mommy has work? I don't like her. She smells," he adds.

Jace laughs loudly. "_Stephen__!" _I cry, horrified that he chose to tell this to his father during the first meeting. But Jace doesn't seem to mind. Instead, he looks happy. Relaxed.

"Of course I will."

Stephen grins, and it's like looking at two Jace's, one big and one small. "Then you can be my daddy," he declares, wrapping his arms around Jace's legs. Jace hunches over, hugging him back. I notice with a start that there are tears in his eyes. _And that boy never cried again. _

"You ok?" I mouth the words silently, concerned but not wanting to ruin his moment.

"Thank you," he whispers, and I'm not entirely sure if it's directed towards me or Stephen for accepting him. Either way it's good. When Stephen pulls away, he looks up at Jace again. His eyes are alive with excitement and some other emotion.

"Can we read now?"

Jace stands, taking his smaller hand in his own. "Yes, we can. Come on, we'll go find you a good book." I watch them browse the shelves, Stephen talking and Jace listening. I know then that I made the right decision. It had been selfish to keep Stephen to myself for so long. He needed Jace.

More importantly, he needed a daddy.

And maybe here in New York, the exact place I had wanted to keep him from, he had finally found one.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Seven ((I'm dealing with rolling power outages bear with me if updates take time)) **

The night, at supper -which is take out from a Chinese food joint-, Maryse clears her throat. Stephen sits between Jace and I, creating a barrier I am extremely glad of. He is busy attacking his noodles and doesn't look up at the older woman.

"Clary, I know everything seems kind of rushed, and don't get me wrong. It is. But there's something you must do if I am allowing you to remain at the Institute." She allows me to finish my mouthful of food before she continues. "I was in contact with your mother-"

My hand hits the table, fork clattering out of it. Stephen grabs it, offering it to me helpfully. I take it and set it down roughy. "What do you mean you were in contact with my mother?"

"I mean what I said. As the head of this Institute it is my mandate to look after the well being of all the Shadowhunters who live in this city if the need be. Your mother was grieving, Clarissa. Was it right to keep her thinking you were gone? Missing?"

As much as I hate to admit she does have a point. "That being said, Maryse, with all due respect- were you thinking at all?" Alec, who has joined us for supper, pales at my words. I know how defensive he is about his mother and I half expect him to dump poison in my chicken fried rice. "I mean, my mother knows nothing about Stephen," I spare a glimpse at him. He is still eating, taking in what's happening around the table with a lazy glance. Jace is watching him, eyes filled with a mixture of protectiveness and awe. "Not only will I have to lie to her about where I was and what happened but at some point she's going to find out and she's not going to be happy.

I wince, remembering the painfully awkward sex talks my mother had tried to induce a few times. They had always ended up in spats of arguing and therefore not much had been said on the topic. I knew well enough what her opinion on Stephen would be. She would be ashamed of me for getting pregnant in the first place, and with someone I wasn't engaged to marry nevertheless. She would also scold me on "not making the right choice" and having him aborted while I still could.

There was no way I will take Stephen to meet her. Not until I'd introduced the idea of him to her. I also feel like Luke in attendance would slightly improve my chances of leaving the house alive.

"I'll come with you," I look at who offered, disbelieving. "What? Dont give me that look. We'll bring Magnus and Simon maybe. That way if worst comes to worst Simon can hold her and Magnus can knock her out."

"Alexander," Maryse admonishes under her breath. "That is no way to talk about dealing with another Shadowhunter, and Clary's mother at that."

I grin, unable to help myself. "Actually, I like the idea. We can go tomorrow morning. If you're up for it?"

Alec nods, returning my grin. "Sounds like a plan. With that many of us there should at least be one survivor who can make it back in time to tell Jace to run before Jocelyn comes and chops his-"

"_Alexander!_" Maryse screams, drowning out the end of his sentence. We all laugh despite that, causing her to look flustered.

It feels nice. Natural. Like being part of a big family. In a way, I assume we could be considered one. A deranged, mixed up, unrelated family. I had forgot how much I loved this life.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

* * *

**Jace POV **

I am woken the next morning by a vicious pounding on the door. "Come in," I mumble, head pounding. Last night I had went out with Alec and Isabelle, trying to pick up any leads on the murders and whether it really was Sebastian, but we'd ended up hitting another dead end and had decided not to let the night go to waste. We'd ended up in the same club I'd first seen Clary all those yeas ago, not dancing but instead mixing our own drinks and trying to have a normal night out.

As a result we had come home absolutely skunked early in the morning, collapsing into our rooms with the smell of liquor still on our clothes and it's taste in our mouth. That's why when I woke up I felt like someone had let a whale tap dance on my forehead while I was out. I'm brutally hung over.

Clary steps in, checking to make sure I'm decent before she steps aside. Stephen is right behind her, already dressed and nearly bursting with energy. "Daddy!" He choruses, leaping nearly across the entire room to land on my bed. I catch him, looking at Clary slowly.

I knew he had a high dosage of angel blood running in his veins, but that leap would have given my best a run for its money. Clary shrugs, looking as baffled as I feel.

Stephen shakes my shoulder, pushing with all his might. "Wake up, Daddy!" He instructs, and I smile at his demanding little voice. I open an eye, sticking my tongue out at him before burying my face in my pillow. He giggles, and I pretend to fake snore.

"Yeah, it's time to wake up Daddy." Clary repeats, mocking me. I look past Stephen, who is delighted with the sight of me awake and narrow my eyes accusingly. So she knows I was out late. She squints her eyes, putting on a sly smile._ Goddamn you, Clary Fray. _

I sit up, rubbing at my face. I feel like absolute hell but I have a job to do today. One that does not involve running myself ragged looking for a murderer that nobody can find. A much more enjoyable one.

Today, while Clary speaks to her mother, I'm spending the day with Stephen.

I'm not sure whether to be excited or scared.

* * *

**Hey! I appreciate the reviews and comments everyone. It means a lot. **

**Im just letting you know I'm open to any suggestions you may have. I'm sticking with my plot and ideas but if you have anything you'd like to see in the story I'd love to see your ideas. Who knows, it might even show up!**

**Keep reading! I appreciate it!**


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine **

**Jace POV **

I walk Clary and Alec to the doors, Stephen holding onto my hand. I lift him up so he can kiss his mother goodbye and then they are gone. I'm glad I am not in the party on their way to try and reason with Clary's mother. She never had liked me, and I could just imagine her reaction to Clary admitting she gave to a baby - _my_ baby - in her absence. It would not be pretty and I won't be surprised if someone returns home sporting injuries.

"What are we gonna do today?" Stephen asks me, his eyes that are an exact copy of my own staring up at me. Right now, in this moment, it's hard to think that someday he will be tall enough to look me in the eyes. I feel like I'll always see him as a little boy. My little boy.

His question leaves me blank. Maryse is currently out and about in the city, saying she had errands to run. Robert is in Idris for a Clave meeting, and Isabelle left shortly after Clary and Alec, claiming she wanted to look for Simon. We have the Institute to ourselves.

"What do you want to do today?" I ask, hesitating when he mulls it over. _By the Angel let him pick something easy._

"Can we read a book?" I am amazed at how fascinated he is by books. He reminds me of myself when I was young. Reading had always provided a get away for me, an escape from Valentine's cruelty. Maybe Stephen and I are more similar than I thought we could be.

"Sure! Do you remember how to get to the library?" I ask, smirking at him. His brows pinch together in concentration. That's a bit of Clary in him. I also see her in the grace of his hand movements, whether it's something as simple as picking up a cup that Isabelle dropped or taking one of his crayons and scribbling it messily across the page. He may be my physical copy, but he has his mother's traits.

He drops my hand, nodding excitedly. "It's this way Daddy! C'mon!" He begins to run down the hall way, and I have to walk quickly to keep up with him. A few minutes later, and after a quick break to try and pet Church which is unsuccessful, we come to the wooden doors of the library. I'm impressed he remembers. He'd be quick to adjust to the Institute.

I realize with a jolt that he won't be permanent here. That I won't get to wake up everyday and see him sitting in the kitchen, sunlight setting his curls into a golden fire. If this is how it's going to be, and Clary returns back to her life, I may only have him for a few weeks at the most.

I don't know how I'll live without him.

Shaking my thoughts away I follow him into the library. He gets sidetracked by the glass displays and I explain to him what each one contains. The remaining faerie ring. The crown. The Clockwork Angel this is said to have been worn by my great-great-great something or other grandmother Tessa Herondale.

We end up sitting in one of the small alcoves, Stephen laid against my chest as I read to him. I read him one of the stories Maryse read Alec and I as young boys, not long after I'd moved here. It's a made up story about a young Shadowhunter boy who turns to the Downworlder he's friend's with for help. I believe it was made to stop hatred of Downworlder's in earlier ages but all in all it is a good story.

"-and so William drew his sword, letting the light hit its hilt, and all the demons in the land fled at its burning marvel. At last Idris was safe, and Maxwell and William could finally return home. Their job was done. The End,"

I close the book, setting it onto the floor. Stephen yawns, his small head resting against my chest. "I like that book," he decides at last.

"Me too," I agree, stretching out my arms. A spark of heat escapes, illuminating my skin, but I quickly shut it down. I'd learned to control the heavenly fire that possessed my body with time and practice and I surely didn't need to slip up and burn my own son. "When I was a little boy just like you my mother read it to me."

"Is ma-mar-maree," he stutters over the name, unable to pronounce it. He gives up, taking a new route. "Is she your Mommy?"

I smile softly. "No, not my real mommy. I never met my real mommy. But she acted like she was my mommy and that's all that matters."

"Where is your real mommy?" Stephen asks, tipping his head. I smooth his hair, letting my hand linger. He's so beautiful. It is easy to see how Clary manages to live him with her entire being.

"Gone away," I say at last. "But it's okay. Maryse is the only mommy I needed."

"My mommy is the only one I need too." He pauses for a moment. "How come you and Mommy don't live together? You could come to our house," he wriggles so he's facing me. "We have room for you."

My heart contracts, and pain engulfs me. I remember the hot summer day, only a few before Clary had left me, where I had been busily prowling the streets of downtown. I had been looking for something in particular and had finally found it. A ring, simple but elegant. I'd gotten it engraved minutes after. I'd had a quote carved into the underside. _Love that moves the sun and all the other stars. _Shadowhunters didn't do rings for marriage, but seeing as Clary had more of a mundane flairtone her I'd wanted one anyways. I had planned on asking her to marry me the day she left me in the greenhouse that night.

It never happened.

"You're remembering," Stephen says simply. I raise an eyebrow.

"How-"

"Mommy does it a lot. She gets that look too. Like she ate something really yucky and it's hurting her tummy."

I can't imagine Clary being sad about anything from her past life. Certainly not me. Stephen is the only thing tying is together, and if she chose to leave again that tie would be snapped until nothing remained. I would become broken again.

"What does Mommy remember?" I ask hesitantly, knowing I could be treading in dangerous waters. I might not want to know.

Stephen smiles crookedly, as if I've told him a joke. "You, Daddy! And New York. And good things. That's what she tells me." He puffs his chest out, proud that his mother tells him such important things. It feels like he's swept the floor out from under me.

I can't believe it. That there might be some small chance, flickering dimly in the dark, that Clary could still love me. I hug Stephen to me, and he hugs me back. "I love you," I tell him.

"I love you too Daddy. Please don't go away again." He looks at me, as of worried I might disappear.

I place a kiss gently against his forehead, holding him tighter. "I won't ever go away, Stephen. I promise."


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten **

Clary POV

That night, when I finally return to the Institute, it's quiet. Alec is spending the night with Magnus and I'm unsure of where Isabelle is. Probably with Simon. I walk slowly through the dark building, pausing to check the kitchen and library. They're both empty.

For a moment a prickle of fear travels through me. What if they left the Institute? What if something had gone wrong?

Pushing the door to my room open, I unzip my jacket. The meeting with my mother hadn't been pleasant. At one point I was almost certain we were going to have to knock her out. Eventually she had calmed down enough to let me talk but she wasn't exactly warm about the whole idea that Jace had gotten me pregnant. Luke had shown us to the door apologetically, telling me to come by some other time when she was less upset. It was a little insulting but not unexpected.

Turning around I have to stifle a scream. My fear fades when I realize who it is, heart hammering madly against my ribs. The person who I had thought to be Sebastian isn't. I rub my temples, trying to clear my head. The whole Sebastian business has me spooked and unnerved. I hate it.

"Hey," I say quietly, dumping my jacket on the small end table beside the tall dresser every room in the Institute has.

Jace is sprawled stiffly across my bed, Stephen asleep with one of his arms wrapped loosely around Jace's waist. It's a cute gesture but a sad one- it's almost as if he's afraid that when he wakes his father will be gone. He is asleep on his stomach, face pressed into Jace's abdomen.

"Hey," he replies, careful not to move too much. "How did it go?" His voice is friendly but distant. I'm not used to being so...I search for the word. It comes at last. Formal. I am not used to being so formal with Jace. It's odd. Uncomfortable. Even if I don't want to admit it a piece of me misses the old days. Misses being with him.

I shut down those feelings. It's grown harder to do so in the past couple of days. I realize now that the longer I wait the harder it will be to leave when this is all over. _If_ I can bring myself to leave for a second time.

"Not good," I admit, sitting on the edge of the bed. I don't want to go into too much detail, although I'm sure it would amuse Jace to know. Especially the part where she had tried to beat Magnus with a spatula when she found out he had helped me leave New York and had lied about being unable to track me.

He smiles. "You should've stayed here with us."

"I wish I had," I reach out, touching Stephen's cheek. He's warm, and in his sleep he is smiling. "What did you do today?"

"Easy there Mama Bear," I shoot Jace a look but realize he's joking. "He wanted to read so we did. Then I made him lunch and before you give me that look it was something entirely edible- it was left over soup. And after that I showed him the green house."

"What did you two eat for supper?" I continue to grill him, even though it's clear our son is perfectly fine.

"Maryse brought home Taki's. He eats like a horse," he rubs Stephen's hair affectionately. "Don't worry about him Clary. He's okay."

_I know, _I think, _and that's what worries me. _If it ends up not working out and I have to leave it will break Stephen's heart to leave his newly found daddy. I don't have the heart to separate them.

I yawn despite myself, exhaustion catching up to me. It's been a very long day. Jace notices, gently shifting himself and Stephen over. "Go to sleep, Clary." I look at him incredulously. Sleep? In the same bed? Highly unlikely.

"Don't give me that face. I'm not going to touch you. Hell, if you want I'll leave right now." He motions to sit up, causing Stephen to move slightly, still fast asleep.

I shake my head, resolve crumbling. "No."

"No what?"

"I mean, no don't leave. Stay." I search his face for emotion. "Please."

He doesn't need to be asked twice. Picking up Stephen, he gingerly lays him on his bed, pulling the covers up so he is almost completely covered. When he does so, he walks across the room, the lights flicking out seconds after.

I feel his weight on the other side of the bed as he lays down. He's stiff. Unsure.

Reaching across the space that seems endless between us I find his fingers. Lacing mine through them I pretend I don't he his uneven intake of breath. It's like that night all those years ago in Idris, when we believed we were siblings but didn't care. Couldn't care.

His fingers squeeze mine lightly. "Goodnight," he says slowly.

"Goodnight," I return, closing my eyes.

Hours later, when I assume he thinks I'm asleep, I hear him move. He hovers, propped up on his free elbow. I hear him sigh. "I love you," he says to the quiet room. "And I wish I didn't. To love is to destroy." I feel him watching me for a few more minutes, but I don't open my eyes. I don't want him to know I heard. Don't want him to know anything I have locked inside.

When he lays back down I turn my face the other way, so subtlety I could be asleep. This way, when the tears begin to roll down my face, warm and unpleasantly sticky, he can't see. Doesn't see.

_I wish I didn't love you either._


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven **

When I wake up the next morning Jace is gone, and so is Stephen. My eyes feel heavy, dry from my crying the night before. Judging by the light coming through the window it's already midday. Standing up, I make my way to the small bathroom that is attached to my room. I shower slowly, taking time to thoroughly wash and clean up. I feel like I'm scrubbing more than dirt away. It feels like I'm trying to scrub away my feelings and emotions.

It doesn't work.

When I am done, I get dressed, pulling my hair back into a pony tail. I'm far too lazy to do anything with it today. I pad barefoot down the Institute halls, ending up in the kitchen at last. It smells like eggs frying and pancake batter. I can only hope Isabelle isn't cooking.

Stephen is sitting at the long table, his hair tousled. I notice he's already dressed and is busy coloring. Isabelle sits across from him, watching him with a slow smile. I wonder if she knows the dark bruises along her neck are clearly visible. It's not hard to tell she found Simon. I walk towards them, pulling out the chair beside him.

"Morning, bud," I greet him, tucking my legs up underneath me. "Whatcha drawing?"

"Us," he responds, moving aside so I can see his picture. He has drawn three stick people, two with bright yellow hair and one with orange. They all have eyes and smiles on their oval faces, and the two larger stick people are holding onto the smaller one's hand. He drew his family.

A lump forms in my throat. "Do you like it?" He asks, picking up a blue crayon to draw the background.

"It's beautiful," I kiss his cheek, and embarrassed, he pushes me away. "I think you should give it to Daddy," I look over at Jace, who is flipping something in one of the frying pans. "He'd like it."

Stephen gets up, running across the floor to Jace. I move to follow him, but Isabelle catches my wrist. "We need to have a talk. Me, you, Simon. Jace too if you want him to come. Simon seen something, and you need to know."

"I'm not exactly free Isabelle," I say, watching Stephen bounce around Jace, waiting for his attention. "I have a four year old son to look after."

She rolls her eyes. "_Fine. _I'll watch him, you and Jace go talk to Simon."

I'm slightly uneasy about leaving him with Isabelle. _It's only for a few hours, _I tell myself. Just then Jace appears, his eyes locking on mine. "Breakfast is served," he calls, too loud for just us. Alec burts into the kitchen moments later, rubbing his eyes. He looks like he's had a long night. Jace eyes him with a crooked smirk. "Wipe the glitter out of your mouth before you eat, Alexander. It'll put off the taste."

Alec shoots him a murderous look. "Shut your mouth before I shut it for you," he warns, but his heart isn't in it. He flops down beside Isabelle, bags under his eyes almost as dark as his hair. "If you must know I had to cut things short with Magnus. I got a lead in Central and had a discussion with Meliorn. One of the fey has become a victim."

Isabelle swears under her breath. It feels like someone has slapped me across the face. The murder rate is increasing too fast. "But why a faerie? They were going to ally themselves with Sebastian." It makes no sense to me.

Jace drops into the chair beside my own, barely placing anything on his plate. He is a light eater when he is nervous. "He was simply in the way," he says to nobody in general. "You all seem to forget I spent the most time with Sebastian. He's ruthless. Cunning. I suspect he's frustrated. The faerie was only a game."

I shiver, fear pulsing through me. "I'm not leaving the Institute," I announce, looking at Isabelle. "And neither is Stephen. Not until this is resolved."

"Your mother. Simon." Alec protests, giving me an odd look. "What about them?"

"We have a sanctuary. My mother can enter if she pleases. Sebastian cannot enter this place as his blood is consumed with demon's blood. I know he drank from the cup. It's safer if we stay here. That way he was less chance to get us to bargain with."

"Bargain with?" Jace looks at me, jaw gritted. "What the hell do you mean bargain with? You're not going anywhere."

"Think about it Jace. Out of all of us who does he want most? Exactly. And what better way to get to me then through my son?"

Alec shoves a pancake in his mouth. "She has a point. I say she stays put too."

Isabelle stands, dumping her untouched food in the trash. "I'll call Simon to swing by the sanctuary," she says before showing herself out. Jace is still looking at me, his eyes burning. Isabelle is right, it's high time we talk.

Stephen watches her go. "Where is Izzerbelle going?" I barely hear him. Instead I stare into Jace's gaze. "Mommy?"

"She's going to get a friend," I answer, shaking my head to clear it.

"Can I go play with Church?" He asks, eating his last bit of eggs.

Alec rubs his eyes again then looks at us. "I can take him cat seeing." He suggests. I look at him gratefully. He stands, grabbing Stephen's plate. "C'mon," he walks ahead of Stephen, "let's go."

They're gone seconds after. Jace gets up and says a few hushed words to Alec. Then he kicks the door closed, turning to look at me.

A lazy grin crosses his face but his eyes are serious. "I believe we're long over due on some talking." He says, crossing his arms.

I walk across the kitchen to him. "Yes, we are. But I'm only doing this if you agree to listen and not...ah...try anything."

He steps closer, so we're only inches apart. The space between us is charged with electricity. I can feel it, and I wonder if he can too.

"I make no such promises, Clary."


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter 12 **

**Jace POV **

Clary leans against the newly installed island in the kitchen, her green eyes narrowed. It's times like this I see her mother in her and it frightens me. Jocelyn is intimidating. I don't want Clary to be intimidating.

She raises an eyebrow at my staring. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"You know exactly what I want to talk about."

My words make her look umcomfortable. "Jace...I can't do this. I can't-" I step forward, silencing her and cutting the space between us. I take her hand, pressing it to my chest. Directly over the scar Glorious had made when it freed me from Sebastian.

"Feel that? That's my heart. It stopped beating when you left. When you walked out you took a piece of me with you. The most vital piece. When I met you it was like something inside me clicked, like something came back together. I remembered how to love." I clear my throat. I'm not one to spill my emotions freely. This is almost entirely uncharted waters for me.

"Jace-" she tries to speak but I shake my head.

"Hear me out Clary. When I said I wanted to abort Stephen I wasn't thinking. I had only been separated from Sebastian for a few weeks. Did you think I was ready to be a father? I was so scared that I would mess up. Hurt you or the baby. I wasn't thinking and I was being an undeniable jackass. If it means anything to you I'm sorry. I'll be sorry till the day I die. I wasn't there for you when you were pregnant. Wasn't there to take you to the hospital and hold your hand while Stephen came into this world. I never held my newborn baby in my arms. Do you know how much that cuts me? All I want- actually, all I'll _ever_ want - is you. Forever. You and Stephen are all I have. I love you still Clary. And I'm sorry."

She looks at me and her eyes are unreadable. "I heard you last night." She states simply. My heart seems to crawl up into my throat. "What you said. You meant it, didn't you?"

I swallow. "Yes."

Her mouth turns up at the sides into a sad smile. "Listen, Jace. I left because I wanted to raise our son. Not because I didn't love you anymore."

"Do you mean..." I can't bring myself to say it. Can't believe this is real. I resist the urge to pinch myself.

"I mean that somewhere inside me I still love you, Jace. It may not be the same as before, and by the Angel we might not even work. But there's nobody on this planet I want to be with but you, you absolute prick."

I let out a shaky groan, my will collapsing. Reaching out with one arm I pull her into me, flush against me, my lips colliding with hers. Gently at first, then rough. Desperate.

She kisses me back, mouth opening under the pressure of mine. It's been so long since I've held her, so long since I've kissed anyone. My body reacts to her instantly. My free hand roams over her body, coming to rest on her hip.

Her fingers skim over mine, halting me. "Stop," she gasps against my mouth. "Jace. Stop."

I force myself to pull away, placing kisses along her cheek, down her neck slowly. "After all this time," I say under my breath, voice heavy with desire, "after all these years, and you want to stop?" I graze my teeth along her collar bone, causing her to jump. So she's still sensitive where I remember. That or I'm just too damn good for my own sake.

Her fingers knot in my shirt as she fights to regain her breath. "Believe me, I don't. But we don't have time. And in case you haven't noticed we're in a shared kitchen. Anyone could walk in."

I trace my fingers along her lips, which are swollen from our small session. "That makes it all the more thrilling, does it not?"

Clary hits my arm but laughs. "You are unbelievable, Jace. Now let's go. Simon will be here any minute." She jumps off the island which she hoisted herself on to give her more height. I watch her go with amusement, still wanting nothing more than to disappear behind a locked door with her.

"Oh and by the way," she turns with her hand on the door handle, smirking to herself. "You might want to take a cold shower." She winks, eyes drifting down my body before she flounces out the door.

Embarrassed, I run my hand over my face. I will never cease to be surprised by Clary. And now that I have her back I won't have to. If I can help it we'll be together for the rest of our lives.

I decide then what I must do. I have to ask her to marry me. Soon.

Because with Sebastian at large, we might not have much time.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen **

Clary POV

When we arrive at the sanctuary Simon is already there, leaning against a pillar. Isabelle stands beside him, whispering something to him under her breath. He is staring intently into her face, and I feel like we've intruded on a private moment.

Jace clears his throat, and I shoot him an embarrassed look. I notice he has made no effort to smooth his hair or shirt where it has been rucked up, and it makes me want to squirm. Surely someone will notice and gather what we've been up to. I'm not sure why I'm so embarrassed. Maybe because we've been apart so long and I am not used to public affection yet.

"So," Jace says stiffly, eyes on Simon's dark ones, "what do you want to tell us about bloodsucker?"

A low growl rumbles in Simon's throat but he doesn't make any move to attack Jace. Isabelle grips his arm, looking up into his face. It's very clear how much she loves him. I can only wonder if he feels the same about her.

"I _wanted _to talk to Clary." Simon speaks with a cold tinge to his voice. "But it seems like you two come as a package deal just like usual." He shakes his head, letting out a breath. "You might as well get comfortable because this will take a while."

Eventually I zone out, unable to listen. One sentence sticks in my mind, travelling on repeat. _I seen Sebastian, and it was just after I told Jace about Stephen. _If it's true then Stephen is known about by the one person who shouldn't know he exists at all.

When Simon finishes I realize everyone is looking at me. Expectantly. "S-sorry," I stutter, hands gripping the edge of my pants. "What was the question?"

"Isabelle asked if you wanted me to pass it on to your mother that you won't be leaving the Institute," Simon says. There's a look of worry in his eyes. "Are you okay, Clary?"

I shake my head but answer the opposite. "I'll be fine. Thanks, Simon. Stop by again soon okay?"

He looks disgruntled at my dismissal. Before anyone can react I leap to my feet and I am running. Running as fast as Shadowhunters can.

Running to nowhere at all.

* * *

Some amount of time later a meowing noise wakes me up. I've curled up in a back corner of the weapons room, on a pile of nets and ropes used to practice flips. It isn't exactly comfortable but it makes do.

I needed a place to calm down and this was it. I still don't feel any safer. Or relaxed.

"Clary?" A hesitant voice asks. I see the flare of a witch light stone, and I squint in response. There's a relieved exhale of breath. "Thanks, Church," the cat meows again then leaves, tiny footfalls sounding in the hall.

I feel weight settle onto the nets beside me, and then there are strong hands. Lifting me. Pulling me into a familiar chest. I know I should pull away but I don't.

"Why did you run away?" Jace asks, his breath warm against my ear.

I let him hold me, taking comfort from the protective way his arms wrap around me. His heart beats against my back. I remember thinking that nobody's heart could beat quite like Jace's, and it's true. Nobody's ever could. Nobody's ever will.

Instead of answering I simply tilt my head back, searching and finally finding his lips. The kiss is slow, careful and sweet. When it's over I feel Jace sigh, his arms holding me a little closer. For a moment it almost feels like we've been shot backwards in time, back to when I wasn't allowed to overnight at the Institute and was only allowed to see Jace if it concerned my training.

Those days were simpler. I miss them. Miss being carefree and without worries that something dreadful would happen to someone I loved.

"Stephen was worried you were hurt. He told me he never cries, but I think he was pretty close," Jace admits. My heart sinks. In my panic I had selfishly forgotten all about my little boy. I feel horrible.

"Is he okay?" I ask, voice croaky from where I've been screaming silently into the tangle of ropes and nets.

"He will be. Isabelle tucked him into bed an hour ago and said she'd stay with him until he drifted off." As Jace fills me in I frown.

"How long-"

"You've been missing for 5 hours Clary. You drew a rune on the door. One I've never seen before- it's made to confuse and deter anyone searching for you. If it wasn't for Church I'm not sure I would have found you."

I sigh, feeling my shoulders sink inward. "I'm sorry I acted like a fool. I'm just so scared."

Jace looks sad for a moment, then drops his hold around me. Confused, I turn to look at him. He's fumbling in the pocket of his shirt, a look of concentration on his face. Eventually he produces a ring.

The Morgenstern ring.

I remember in a flash leaving it behind when I fled. I had never stopped to think he might have kept it, might have held onto the hope of me coming home. It only makes me feel that much worse about my actions.

"Since you came home and, ah, since it technically belongs to you more than me I want you to have it back." Jace holds it out to me cautiously. I reach into his hand, picking it up. The fine chain it hung on his been mended. All the while holding his gaze I slip it onto my neck, fastening the clamp.

A slow smile spreads over his face. It doesn't melt his eyes though, which are a burning dark butterscotch. "We're going to be all right, Clary. I'll protect us. Nobody will ever hurt you or Stephen."

I take his hands in mine, more for my sake than his. "I won't let anyone hurt you either."

He flashes me a crooked smirk. "I don't think anyone can protect me from getting hurt. I tend to be a magnet for trouble."

"You _are _trouble, Jace Herondale," I say, rolling my eyes with a smirk on my face.

He leans in quickly, stealing a small kiss. "I may be trouble, but you dig it."

Shaking my head, I stand up, pulling him with me. "C'mon, let's go relieve Isabelle of babysitting."

"I'll walk you to your room-" Jace begins but I cut him off, turning what I hope is a persuasive gaze on him.

"Please stay the night," I whisper, feeling my cheeks grow warm. "And I don't mean in that way. Our son will be only five feet away, so that is entirely out of the question. I just want you to stay with me." _Forever, _I add mentally, although I don't have the guts to speak it.

Eventually he nods, hair falling into his eyes. Reflexively I brush it back, hand lingering on his cheek for a moment. When I pull it away the skin is flushed where I touched him. "Of course," he replies. "Of course I'll stay. For however long you want me I'll be available."

"I may want you forever," I warn in a teasing voice as we wind through the halls of the Institute.

As we approach the room I share with Stephen I hear him chuckle. "I'm perfectly okay with that."


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen **

The rest of the week passes without event. My mother joins us for supper one night and meets Stephen for the first time. Also for the first time his charm doesn't seem to win her over. She simply goes ashen and leaves as soon as we are done eating.

That is why today she isn't with us today, and it drives a nail of anger under my skin. She should be here. _Would _be here if she wasn't so angry with me for leaving her and not telling her where I went and why I was leaving.

Because today is the day Stephen has been waiting for for months. Today is his fifth birthday.

"Mommy!"

Im woken by an excited cry, nostalgia hitting me. Two weeks ago. In Omaha. Back when things were normal. I can't let myself get caught up in this. Sebastian may be at large, but Stephen is with his family now.

_I _am with my family now.

"Mommy, guess what!" Stephen leaps onto the bed, squirming with excitement. Jace, who has woken up earlier than us both, is nowhere to be seen. My chest falls, but then I hear the water running. He's not gone. Just showering.

"What?" I answer, knowing what's coming.

"_It's my birthday!_" Stephen yells the last word excitedly. I can't stop myself from smiling. I grab him, pulling him tightly against me. He giggles loudly as I plant a loud kiss on his cheek.

"Happy birthday," I say, his eyes finding mine. They're a warm honey color today, soft and sweet. Just like he is.

Just then the bathroom door opens and Jace steps out, clad in only a pair of jeans. They are loose fitting and show off his chiseled abdomen almost too well. His hair is still damp from the shower, hanging in waves off his head.

It's been quite a while since I've seen him shirtless and I feel a tinge of pink in my cheeks. His body clearly hasn't changed. If anything it's gotten better. Jace has filled out quite well, the previous thinness of his body gone. He's gone from boy to man.

With a start, I realize it is his birthday too.

"Daddy, it's my birthday!" Stephen states, untangling himself from me. He throws himself at Jace, who catches him sturdily, smiling at him. "I'm five whole years old today!"

Jace grins, tucking a fly away piece of hair back down onto Stephen's head. "I know you are! Guess what?"

"What?" Stephen asks, and I smile at the two of them. He brings out everything beautiful in Jace. Melts away the darkness Valentine's upbringing and his history with Sebastian smudged into him. He needed Stephen, whether he realized it or not.

"It's my birthday too. I'm twenty three whole years old."

Stephen laughs. "You're old, Daddy."

Jace frowns, flicking the tip of Steph's nose. "Not too old,"

I stand up, smoothing the chain around my neck that holds the Morgenstern ring. Jace's eyes flick over me, a dark emotion in them. I shiver inwardly but don't react. He should know better then to act like this now. Not with Stephen present.

"So what do my two favorite boys want to do today?" I ask, stepping towards them.

"I want s'ghetti," Stephen declares, looking back and forth between me and Jace. I smirk as Jace's eyes mist with confusion. He is trying his very best to be a father but he is still not quite fluent in four year old talk.

Taking Stephen from his father, I hold him loosely in my arms. "You're going to turn into spaghetti if you don't stop eating it!" I tickle his stomach and he howls with laughter. Jace watches us, a slow smile covering his face. Something inside me flares at the sight of him in a way it hasn't in years. I'm falling more and more in love with him the longer we stay here.

It'll be impossible to leave again.

Eventually, his tiny hands pawing at me, Stephen speaks. "Stop, Mommy," he begs, still giggling. I comply, setting him down onto the floor. He walks towards the door, singing out for Isabelle.

I feel Jace before he touches me, hand lingering gently on my hip. There's a question in his eyes and I answer it before he can speak. Stretching up on my tiptoes, I seal his lips with mine, kissing him slowly. He sighs, body relaxing, fingers curling possessively around my waist. I let my body melt against his, tongue tracing a line along his lower lip. He sucks in a gasp, offering me the pause I need.

"Happy birthday," I murmur. He makes a noise deep in his throat, tilting my chin up. My mouth opens under the pressure of his. He is insistent as he kisses me. Bold. I break away before things can grow too heated.

"You know, it is incredibly cruel to tease me like that." Jace says in an offhand way, but I can hear the shortness of his breath. His eyes are dark with desire, sending a jolt through my stomach. "Especially on my birthday."

"Sorry, birthday boy." I bat my eyelashes and he laughs. "But I happen to have another birthday boy waiting on me to make him spaghetti."

"If I make him spaghetti will you let me carry on?" The sentence is light but chalk full with question. I shiver despite myself. Jace looks at me, waiting for his answer. By the look in his eyes he clearly suspects no.

I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant. "Who knows. It all depends on what you wish for when you blow out the candles."

Something in his expression tells me I already know exactly what he'll wish for.

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter but I'm weighed down with school work lately. I can't give anything away to spoil it for you all but lets just say things may get a little more...heavy...between Jace and Clary. But only the next chapter will tell for sure.**

**Keep on reading and reviewing!**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen **

I set my fork down, plate of spaghetti barely touched. I'm not hungry, my stomach instead twisting itself in knots. Stephen sits on the island, laughing at something Jace has said to him. Side by side they are identical, from the way Jace twirls his spaghetti exactly like Stephen to the way Stephen pokes his tongue out in concentration when puzzled, just like his father.

"Am I late for the party?" A familiar voice calls, Alec stepping swiftly through the door. His hair is tousled from the wind of the storm blowing outside. A nasty snow storm not typical of New York.

"Alec!" Stephen calls, waving his sauce stained hands. "We made s'ghetti. Want some?"

Alec smiles, his blue eyes warm. "No thanks, buddy. Oh!" He digs into his pocket, producing a small box. It shakes slightly, a muffled noise coming from it. A spark of worry fills me. _What in the_ world...

"I brought you a present. It's from me and Magnus. He wishes you a very happy birthday." Alec hands Stephen the box, which he politely thanks Alec for. _That's my boy. _

When he pulls the ribbon off it sparks, exploding into a series of tiny blue fireworks that spell out 'Happy Birthday, Stephen!'. Stephen smiles so wide it's a wonder his face doesn't split. Then, the lid of the box pops.

A whirlwind of fur and claws launches into the kitchen, effectively scratching Jace and tipping the pot of spaghetti in the same jump. Jace yells, spaghetti sauce splattering all over him and Stephen. "Whiskers!" Stephen yells happily, oblivious to the fact he's drenched.

Unable to help myself I start to laugh. Seconds later Alec joins in. Eventually Jace cracks a smile. Stephen cackles, licking a smudge of noodles and sauce off his arm.

Walking to them, I grab a paper towel, mopping at Stephen's messy face. He grins up at me and I kiss his nose. Alec is still laughing, eyeing us with a wishful expression. I remember faintly Magnus hinting at the fact they had wanted to adopt or use a surrogate mother to have children on their own. I guess it hadn't happened after all.

"Can I go play with Whiskers and Church?" Stephen asks, forgetting about his spaghetti. I nod, helping him down.

He runs to Alec, grabbing his hand. "Come on, let's go!" He pulls Alec after him, the bigger Shadowhunter stumbling along with a goofy smile on his face. I realize then it leaves me and Jace alone.

Turning around I smile at him. "You have a little bit of sauce." I tease, reaching out to swipe my finger along his cheek. He catches my fingers, pouting.

"You just had to get him a cat."

I frown. "I wanted to make him happy."

Jace smiles. "I know. I'm only joking Clary. You did a great job with him. I only wish I'd been around to see it."

I squeeze his fingers. "You can be now."

"You'll stay?" His voice is barely a whisper.

"As long as you want us around." I vow.

"Clary..." He looks pained, as if I've hurt him. "I want you guys to stay here forever. In fact, there's something I want to ask you-"

Just then Isabelle bursts in, tears streaming down her face. Jace sighs, dropping my hand. My heart races. "Isabelle?"

"It's Simon," she sobs, looking torn apart. "He's been kidnapped."

"Kidnapped?" Jace's torn is dark. "What do you mean?"

"Sebastian has him. And he's taking him with him."

"Taking him where? Isabelle, where are they going?"

"Idris. He said he was going to murder him in public and unleash demons on the Accord meeting. Unless..."

"Unless what?" I prod, tone flat.

"He said to meet him there in three days or everyone you know dies. And he said to tell you this time he isn't kidding."

* * *

Later that night, after Stephen and Jace have ate their birthday cake and Stephen has fallen asleep, I leave my room. Before I close the door I stare at him for a moment, the small smear of crumbs still attached to his face. The witchlight stone Jace gave him sits beside his pillow, where it has tumbled out of his fingers after he grew tired of lighting it up, the stuffed wolf teddy besr from Isabelle tucked under his arm. My present to him, a small iPod to play music on is perched on his night table.

I can't let him be hurt by Stephen. I need to do what's right. Need to fix the final broken links in my life.

And I need to start with Jace.

Crossing the hall to Isabelle's room I knock softly. The door clicks open and she appears, puffy eyed. "Clary?" She whispers.

"I'm sorry to bother you Is. But I need to ask you a favor. I need you to watch Stephen tonight if you could."

"Where are you going?" She asks, looking confused.

"I'm not leaving the Insitute," I promise. "In fact I might even be back before morning. I just need to do something."

A look of realization crosses her face and she smirks. "Ooh. Sure I'll stay with him." She drops me a wink. "Take your time."

"_Isabelle_!" I say, both amused and horrified at the same time.

"I promise I won't tell a soul," she giggles, dodging my smack and closing my bedroom door. It's time to fix things.

* * *

Cracking open the door to Jace's room I try to calm my pounding heart. For a moment I feel stupid, noticing his empty room. Maybe he's out celebrating his birthday. After all, you aren't twenty three forever.

Strolling through his tidy room I take in the changes. There aren't many. A few pictures are pinned to the wall. I study them, head tipped to the side.

There's a picture of Alec and Jace when they were young, maybe thirteen. Jace looks distant, his arms crossed and chin tilted back. Alec is smiling, arm thrown lazily around his parabatai. Beside it is a more recent picture of the two, smiling and laughing into the camera, Isabelle with her hands on her hips and a smile plastered on her face.

The rest are random pictures of me and Jace before I left. The one of us on the Institute steps. One from the night of the fireworks in Idris. A snapshot taken on Christmas eve, with Jace dangling mistletoe over my head as he kisses me.

I guess I never did realize just how much he missed me. Or how much I missed him.

There's a slight noise from the bathroom. A tap turning. My heart stutters. He isn't out after all.

Making my way to the bathroom I push the door open. Jace stands in front of the fogged mirror, a towel wrapped around his hips. His body glistens with water. He is so beautiful.

Hearing my tread he freezes. When he turns there's a look of disbelief in his eyes. "Clary? What are you doing here-"

I cut him off, placing my hand over his heart. It's beating a little too quickly. Leaning in, I press a kiss to his cheek. "Happy birthday, Jace." I say softly.

Gently he cradles my face, pressing his lips to mine. He kisses me gently for a few minutes, the water from his chest soaking my shirt. But I don't care.

Reaching out, I trail my hand down his side. He shivers, reactively pressing closer. His hands trail south, holding my sides. Our kissing turns in a new route, Jace's lips moving against my own at a more frantic pace.

This time, I don't stop him.

He backs me up, supporting me as I stumble blindly backwards. I feel the edge of the bed digging against my calves. A pause. A question.

Answering, I grasp his shoulders, pulling him down with me. He moans quietly under his breath, balancing on his elbows so he doesn't rest his full weight on top of me. The kissing is so intense now it makes my head spin. I can't think straight. Can't remember why I ever wanted to leave in the first place.

Jace did stupid things, sure, and he could be a complete and utter asshole at times. But he is mine. And I am his.

I feel his fingers at the hem of my shirt. His mouth pulls away from mine. "Clary," he says breathlessly, looking down at me. "Clary you don't have to do this. You really don't. If you want to stop-"

I close my hands over his own. "I do want to. I love you."

He closes his eyes at the words, shivering. When he opens them they are dark, eyelids heavy. "I love you too."

In moments I am nearly undressed, chest heaving with both nerves and nervous excitement. It's been a long time. But I know inside that it's the right time. I can't deny how I feel about him anymore.

I let my fingers trail over his hips, stopping at the white towel tired there. He sucks in a breath, biting his lip. "Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Sure as I'll ever be," I assure him, unknotting it as best I can with my shaking fingers. It falls with a thump to the floor. And this time, when Jace kisses me, we don't stop.

Not for a long, long time.

* * *

**I worked hard to have this updated and uploaded today so you could read it as soon as possible. Thoughts? Comments? I'd love to hear them.**

**Keep on reading!**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen **

The next morning I feel light and floating, the pillow against which my cheek rests warm and comforting. For a moment I am tempted to close my eyes, sink back into the blissful sleep, but I know I can't. The events of last night are whirlwind in my head, certain flashes striking behind my eyelids like fire. A flash of golden hair, fists knotted into sheets, dark bruises along my collar bone from Jace's rough love.

Rolling over, I look into the face of the man I love. He is still asleep but barely. He looks happier than I've seen him in years. Maybe ever. My heart is breaking more and more the longer I stare.

As if on cue, a golden eye flutters open. Jace makes a soft noise, reaching out softly. His thin fingers trace along my cheek bone, causing my skin to flutter. "Good morning," he murmurs, a crooked grin spreading along his face.

"Good morning," I return, willing myself to appear calm. Happy. I lean over, rolling against him until our body's are flush. I kiss him, eyes closing. _I will miss you. God will I miss you. __  
_

He smiles against my mouth, clearly content with my choice of action. Forcing myself to sit up, I look down at him, brushing my hair over my shoulders. He cocks an eyebrow, confused. "Am I a bad kisser in the morning?"

"No," I confess, feeling a slight heat rise to my cheeks. "In fact, you're far too good. At any time of the day."

He winks at me, sitting up as well. "Years of practice and my luck with the ladies has lead me here. What can I say, I'm a bit of a natural."

I roll my eyes, letting him pull me in for another kiss. "Very funny," I mumble against his cheek. I struggle to think of ways I can pull this off. Combat is out of the question. I couldn't even dream of besting Jace in a scuffle, let alone long enough to hold him down for a few moments. Unless...

"So," I copy his expression, raising my eyebrow. I'm aware I probably look ridiculous. "How about a shower?"

He swallows, pursing his lips. "You mean now?"

"Unless you'd rather do something else."

Jace shakes his head. "Oh, there is nothing else I'd rather do. That's the bad thing. I'm afraid I won't want to let you leave." The words seem to cut me, driving little stabs of pain beneath my rib cage. If only he knew.

We get up, Jace kicking his sheets away. I follow him into the bathroom, waiting as he turns the water on, body flexing and stretching. I still don't understand how I managed to end up with someone so incredibly good looking. I could never tire of looking at Jace. If I stared at him every day for the rest of my life it wouldn't be enough.

Throughout the shower I feel distant, despite the pleasure and happiness radiating through me. Jace as always is perfect, and when he tells me he loves me I repeat it back to him without a hesitation. I wish I could tell him I love him a million more times. Even then it wouldn't be enough.

Too soon it's over. We step out, Jace rooting around for an extra towel. I sit, wrapped in the one he wore last night, shivering. It is not cold, but I am. Unbearably cold to be exact.

"Here we are," Jace says at last, grabbing a faded blue towel out of the drawer above the sink. He lays it across his shoulders, sitting beside me on the lip of the tub. I'm aware he's watching me, but neither of us say anything.

"I wish I could see the world the way you do," he sighs at last, looking away.

I glance at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what I say. You see the world so different than I do. You see beauty in bland. Hope in the hopeless. You found love in someone broken and managed to convince him that he wasn't broken after all. _That _is what I mean."

"I wouldn't undermine yourself, Jace. You're quite extraordinary yourself." The compliment falls out before I can stop it. I blush, avoiding his probing gaze. "I saw it in you before I even knew I liked you. I think that's why I was so drawn to you."

He smiles, but it's to himself. "Now here we are."

"Here we are," I agree. I watch the sunlight stream through the window and know that I cannot stall any longer. It's time. "Do you happen to have a stele on you?" I ask, taking careful measure to keep my voice even. Jace looks at me, confused.

"A stele? Well, yeah, of course I do. But why on earth do you need a stele?" He is truly puzzled. I can't blame him.

"You'll see," I answer vaguely, offering him a smile. He shrugs, getting up and exiting the bathroom. I hear him rooting around. When I'm certain he cannot see me I reach behind the toilet, prying out the stele I brought with me last night. Quickly I ink a silent rune into my arm.

Getting up, I pad into the bedroom. As always the rune comes through for me. I am silent.

He never hears me coming.

Before he can turn around I knock into Jace, tripping him. He falls ungracefully, letting out a surprised huff. Knowing I have seconds I whip out the stele, inking a twisting rune into his chest. He looks down at it, puzzled and alarmed. "Clary? What in the world-"

And he's asleep. From a hundred miles an hour to zero in seconds. A tear leaks out of my eye, rolling down my cheek. Bending down I place a sloppy kiss onto his mouth.

"I love you, Jace," I whisper, standing and collecting my clothes. "Please don't be angry. I have to do this."

With that, I slip through the door, making my way quickly to the front of the Institute. All the way out I cry, shoulders shaking. I feel like a coward. A traitor. Lying to Jace and knocking him out against his will.

I could live a thousand life times and never deserve him.

* * *

**Jace POV **

When I come around I am groggy, head heavy as if I've spent a night out drinking. Groaning I reach up, rubbing my eyes. Something inside me tugs at me, whispers for me to just lay my head down a moment longer, to close my eyes and relax.

"No," I slur, eyes bleary. The room is spinning. It's dark outside and I'm disoriented. "No." I repeat, firmer this time.

As if I've been sucked punched I jolt back to alertness. I feel as if I've just broken the surface of a dark pond or lake, and am paddling towards the shore. My memories are muddled together and I feel slightly sick. _What in the world..._

That's when I notice it.

There, at the end of my bed, is a piece of paper. It is folded in half, the corner jagged as if it's been torn. **_Jace,_ **my name is slashed across the front of the fold in delicate writing. An artist's writing.

Something in me feels heavy as I pick up the paper, a small warning note going off in my brain. Why would Clary leave me a note? I try to shake my thoughts away. She probably went to make breakfast for Stephen or see if Isabelle was alright. She's still here. She's safe.

Opening the note, I scan the first couple of lines. My heart beats. What...

_Jace, _

It reads in the same elegant hand, the writing growing more and more sloppier at the ending. As if someone rushed through it or was fighting back emotions as they did so. Maybe both. I force myself to continue.

_Please don't grow angry with me. I know what I've done is cowardly, knocking you out like I did. By the time you're reading this I'll already be long gone, and I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I want you to know I wanted nothing more than to be with you. To live with you and raise a family with you. You are the reason my heart beats Jace. The reason I am who I am. You make me better. Stronger. You make me whole. _

I don't like where the tone of the letter is going. My pulse feels sluggish in my veins. She's gone. The words keep cycling through my head. She's gone, and she's been gone for a while. She's gone. I need to find her. She's gone. _She's gone._

_But what you must understand is I've done what I have to do. Simon is still my best friend. I owe this to him. I knew from the moment I saw him he wasn't himself. He's possessed, Jace, just like you were. Sebastian has some strange control over him, and I know I am the only one who has a shot at breaking it. I can create runes after all. Like the one I placed on you. Or the one on Isabelle's wrist, that made her aloof and forget what she had just been through so she would stay with Stephen when I came to you last night. Like the one I am enclosing in this letter because I am too weak to draw it myself. This is an Erasing rune, Jace. If placed on someone, it will erase all their memories. Make them blank. Give them a fresh start so to speak. I've designed it myself.  
__I want you to use it on Stephen if I don't return home. Don't make him live his life in agony over losing me. I said goodbye to him last night, and in his sleep he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You do not know how hard this is on me. He is my life now, and that is why I don't want him to suffer if I don't make it. Please do this for me. I love you both more than words can describe and it would break my heart to see him - or you - suffer.  
__And you. If I don't make it back I want you to promise me you won't be mad. Do not blame yourself, Jace Herondale. This was my choice, and there was nothing you could have done to stop me. Do you remember what you said to me all those years ago? I'm saying it now. I only wish you could hear it in person. If I make it back, I will say it to you everyday, and even then it won't be enough. I love you, Jace, and I will love you until I die, and if there is a life after that I will love you then. You are the greatest thing about me. Our love is the love that moves the sun and all the other stars. Nothing will ever compare to it, and I will never forget it as long as I live.  
__Live your life to the fullest, Jace, and don't regret me. Please. I will miss you, my love. My heart aches as I watch you sleep but I cannot bring myself to back out of this. Take care of our son and be the good, caring man I know you are. To love is to destroy and to be the one loved is to be destroyed is wrong, Jace. To love is to heal, and to be the one loved is to be healed. You healed me and I can only hope I healed you.  
__I love you,  
_  
-_Clary_

I close the letter, hand shaking. My eyes sting with tears, but they don't fall. A rage boils inside me and I want to scream. I should have known she was up to something. Should have tried harder to fight her off. Should have done anything but what I did.

It's no use. She's gone, and she's more than likely to die at Sebastian's hands. I am too late. There is nothing I can do.

Clary is gone.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter Seventeen **

Clary POV

When I step out of the portal the wind nearly rips right through me. It's a miserable day in Alicante. Not one that I would choose to be outside in.

But seeing as I have no choice I begin to move.

I know I am early for Sebastian's little meeting but there's no turning back now. I wind through the city streets, over the arching brick bridges and similar houses. In the distance the demon towers glisten in the setting sun. I'm not exactly sure what time it is due to the time change but something inside me says I have a good few hours before its time.

Reaching into my pocket I pull out my stele, inking a rune into the skin of my wrist. It's a rune I created myself. One that makes me all but untraceable.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly to the empty street in front of me. I wonder if Jace has found my note yet. Wonder if he's done what I told him or if he's foolishly decided to pursue me. I hope with my entire heart he stayed home, out of the way of danger. He needs to stay with Stephen.

_Stephen._ My heart beats painfully. I wonder if I have seen him for the last time. If my little baby boy will have to grow up without me. My eyes well with tears. I can't picture living without him. A grim acceptance hits me. If I don't survive I won't have to live a life without him.

I can only hope I succeed so he has a safer life.

* * *

**Jace POV **

"We have to go after her!"

My fist hits the table with a loud bang, causing Magnus to jump. He has tired rings under his eyes and smells like he's bathed in espresso. Alec looks equally tired, holding a babbling Stephen in his lap. The only one who doesn't look exhausted is Isabelle, who's animatedly talking to someone on her cell phone.

"Jace, is that really the best idea? You know Clary. She rushes into situations head first, but she rarely ever makes a mistake. She's right about stopping Sebastian. She has the biggest shot." Magnus's gaze is soft, but his tone is hard. Not sympathetic.

"That's not what I care about, Magnus." I shoot him an angry look.

"Jace has a point," Alec shrugs his shoulder. "She could use help. She's not exactly up to date on training you know."

I smile appreciatively at my parabatai. "Finally you recognize I can have logical ideas."

He snorts, blue eyes crinkling. "Actually I'm agreeing because I care about you and your son. You shouldn't have to live a life without Clary."

I wrap my arms around myself, trying to shut the words out. There won't be a life without Clary. There won't. I won't let there be. Isabelle, having turned off her phone, scolds her brother. I try to ignore their sympathy. It only makes me more afraid that I've lost her for good.

A small hand touches my bicep, which is starting to glow with heavenly fire. I can't help it - when I am stressed it makes an appearance. "Don't be sad, Daddy. You'll find Mommy." Stephen blinks at me reassuringly, his hair actually in line for once.

A lump in my throat forms, and I nod gruffly. "Yes," I say to him, "yes, I'll find her Steph. I promise you."

"You don't need to promise me Daddy. I believe in you," he steps off of Alec's chair, crossing to mine and scrambling into my lap. He hugs me, resting his head against my chest. The words make me want to cry. Hell, nearly everything has made me want to cry today.

Magnus is watching us, his cat eyes squinted. "You must understand me when I say that there is nothing we can possibly do for Clary, Jace. She might be out of hope. Out of luck."

Isabelle scowls. "You're not really improving our hope, Magnus."

He tips his shoulder to the side, chin dropping. "What do you expect me to do? Lie? I'm not exactly the lying type." Alec snorts, mumbling something under his breath. Magnus lets out a hiss of breath, elbowing him. They nearly break into a scuffle before they realize we're still present.

Puffing out a breath he rolls his eyes. "Fine. _Fine. _I'll try what I can. But you should know that there are only a few things in this world that can kill darling Seb." We all stare at him, waiting. "A blade forged in the deepest pits of Hell or the wrath of an angel. Something of that must evil takes an enormous amount of power to bring down."

"How would we come across one of these blades?" I ask, holding Stephen to me. He is humming and the sensation vibrates against my ribs. It's an odd feeling, but I don't mind. Any moment with him is a good moment.

Magnus laughs dryly. "Oh, trust me, little Shadowhunter. _You _couldn't dream of getting into Hell, let alone getting out alive. This is a job strictly for me."

Alec looks outraged. "Magnus Bane, if you think for one moment I am letting you journey into Hell alone without a single person backing you up-"

Magnus holds a thin finger to his boyfriend's mouth, silencing him. "Hush, Alexander. Let me finish. As I was saying, I am the only one of us who can do this. No warlocks have a direct way to access their father's home town. Unless your father is the king of hell."

We all look at him, confused and alarmed. He blows a breath. "Are you all really that foolish? My father is _the_ king of Hell. Lucifer. A fallen angel as you're all probably aware of. I figure that if maybe I gave him a ring, asked to stop by, he might spare me long enough to return to the land of the living."

Isabelle looks floored, the coffee mug she'd been fumbling with aimlessly clattering out of her hands. "Your father is _Lucifer_? Maguns, that's insane!"

He pales lightly, reaching for Alec's hand. "Yes, he is. I kept this a secret because it's not exactly something I'm proud of. Why do you think your witchlight stone came to life in my hand, Alec?"

Alec looks like he's going to throw up. I am still slightly confused. "Because...because you still technically have angel blood. Even though your father is fallen and considered a demon. Magnus, I had no idea. I thought-"

"It doesn't matter what you thought, Alec. The secret is out now. And it's no use sitting around like a group of lost ducks." He winks at me, and I scowl. I have always been uneasy around the water fowl and I'm unsure why. Seems cowardly - afraid of ducks when I hunt down demons for a living. "I'll prepare my trip immediately. I suggest the rest of you contact as many people as you can. If I make it back to the surface..."

He trails off, and I finish for him. "We're going to have one hell of a fight on our hands."

Alec scowls at my pun, but doesn't say anything. Standing up, I set Stephen down on the floor. "Alright then. Let's get moving. We have a lot of people to save after all."

Isabelle rolls her eyes. "Why is it always us who has to save the world? Would it be too much to ask for a decent break? This whole saving business gets a little tiring after a while."

I can't help but think that she is right, but that won't stop me. Clary's life is hanging on the line, and I will try my damnedest to save it. If it be the last thing I do at least I will die satisfied.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter Eighteen **

Clary POV

I wait, leaning against a brick wall under the weak moonlight. I wish now that I'd worn something more warm than the flimsy sweater around me. My body aches for Jace's leather jacket with it's too long sleeves and comforting scent. But it's miles away from me now. With the man I left behind.

A shiver rolls through me. My eyes stalk every shadow in the night, trying to pick out any unnatural movement that will alert me to his presence. I am frustrated at my lack of seeing him, wondering if maybe he lied and won't meet me here after all.

That's when I see it. A form appears in the alley across from me, rapidly growing closer. For a moment I think the figure is moving with a limp and suspicion rises in me. My brother would never limp.

When he steps into the light I realize what the dragging form is. It's Sebastian, holding an upright Simon in his arms. Blood crusts the entire side of Simon's face, his fangs out and resting loosely against his lips. He looks lifeless. My heart beats rapidly.

"Simon," I sob, pressing my hands to my face. He doesn't move at the sound of his name, instead hanging limp, head lolling back. Turning my eyes to Sebastian, I glare at him. A wave of hate ripples through me and I want nothing more than to stab him in his destroyed heart. "What have you done to him?"

He grins a sadistic grin, letting Simon fall to the ground. He whimpers, curling in on himself. Not dead, I realize, letting my breath out, but not far from it. "Relax, little sister. He'll survive."

"I didn't _ask _if he would survive," I spit, crossing my arms. I try my best to look fierce and unafraid, just like Jace. I fail miserably. "I _asked _what you did to him."

"Simple, really. I cornered him one day, injected him with a little bit of my blood. Soon enough he started to feel the, let us say, side effects. Dizziness. Trouble concentrating. A strange desire to slaughter humans. But he wasn't thirsty for blood. He felt almost human. Human with homicidal tendicies," Sebastian laughs, and the sound turns my stomach. "Foolishly he returned to his mugging place. He found me there and I coaxed him into letting me inject a little more. It became a bit of an addiction for your little friend."

I shake my head. "I don't believe you."

"You don't have to, Clarissa. The proof is right in front of you. I have made a masterpiece out of your little Simon. He now craves blood again, but only Shadowhunter blood. It makes him stronger than you could possibly imagine. He is a perfect little weapon, and he's right here at my disposal."

I think of Simon harming Shadowhunters. Harming Isabelle. I want to throw up and scream at the same time. "Let him go. Let him go, and leave my family alone."

"Family?" Sebastian tips his head to the side, pacing closer. "I am your family, Clary. Unless you mean that ragtag bunch you consider family in that scum hole of a city you live in." The words make my stomach boil, and he notices, a sick grin crawling up his white cheeks. "No, I think it'd be much more fun to slaughter them one by one, don't you? Starting off with your _precious_ little boy. Stephen, is it? Oh, that would give me great pleasure."

"Don't you fucking even dream of touching my son!" I yell, clenching my hands into fists. "If you so much as come within ten feet of him I will rip your head from your shoulders, Jonathan Morgenstern."

He purses his lips. "Now, now, is that anyway to treat your darling brother? I'm afraid I don't like that attitude, sister." He closes the gap between us, reaching out to touch my face. I resist the urge to recoil in disgust, knowing it would only make him angrier. He is a wild card when he is angry. I need to keep him under control.

His rough thumb swipes over my cheek bone, black eyes drilling into mine. "Ah, that's better, isn't it?" He leans forward and for a horrible moment I fear he is going to kiss me, but his lips swipe past my ear instead. "We could have a life together, you and I. You remember what I told you about the Egyptians. We could have our own little family, aware from the prying eyes of the Nephilim."

The very thought makes me want to gag. Yet I know deep inside what I have to do, how I have to play my hand, if I want to keep the ones I care about alive. "Maybe..." I start, but my voice cracks. I begin again. "Maybe we could try. But there'd be a few things I wanted."

His hands stroke down my neck, trailing down my arms. I feel sick. Dirty. "Oh? And what things are these?"

"I want the Lightwood's and their companions free. Never to be touched or bothered. Simon walks free of this. And you let my baby and Jace have a normal life. Let them think I died so they don't come looking for me. And you stay away from this world and do not cause it anymore trouble."

He mulls this over, dark eyes flickering over my face. He looks hungry. Consuming. I can just imagine what he'd wish to do to me. "What would I get in return? You strike a heavy bargain."

"Me," I answer around the lump in my throat.

A wide smile spreads across his face, but quickly disappears. "How do I know you aren't trying to trick me?"

_Do it for Jace, _I mutter to myself internally. Standing on my tiptoes, I press my mouth to his. I do not kiss him, but he kisses me. Eventually he sets me back down. I resist the urge to wipe my mouth, to try and wipe the filth I am feeling off. "That's how."

He is quiet for a few minutes and I'm worried he's going to turn down my offer. Then he nods curtly, pulling Simon to his feet. I watch closely as he slashes a complicated pattern into his wrist. Simon's brown eyes flutter open, and seconds later he's springing away from Sebastian, lips drawn back in a snarl.

"Simon!" I call, alarm pulsing through me. "Simon, it's okay!"

His head snaps at the sound of my voice, eyes coming to a stop on my face. Confusion clouds his brown eyes. "Clary? Clary, what's happening? Where-"

I run to him, throwing my arms around him. He bends down to hug me back. I know I have seconds. When I'm sure Sebastian isn't listening I whisper into Simon's ear, long and quick. When I pull away his expression is calm. Practiced.

Then, with a lurch, he begins to run. Sebastian watches him go, eyes cold. "Why such a hurry?"

I shrug, turning to look at him. I paste a fake smile on my face. "Maybe he wanted to give us alone time,"

Sebastian growls, clutching my hands in his. My heart stutters, and I'm surprised. "There'll be plenty of that, Clarissa." Without warning, he scoops me into his arms, and the world is spinning, spinning, spinning until we hit the ground. I cannot see anything in the dark but I know we're in some sort of room.

As Sebastian carries me I think about what I've done. I only hope it is the right choice and that Simon will come through for me.

I am not sure how long I can pretend.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter Nineteen **

**Jace POV **

When I wake up light is filtering through Magnus's window. Someone has rolled me into a slightly more comfortable position on the floor, a wide quilt thrown over me. Stephen is asleep on the couch, snuggled into Isabelle. Her eyes are open, and she's crying.

I sit up, quirking an eyebrow. "Is? You alright?" She shakes her head but doesn't move Stephen. I sigh, unsure of what to do. "Do you wanna talk about it something?"

"Did I just hear you correctly? Did you ask if I wanted to _talk_?" Her brown eyes are mocking me. I scowl, hands twitching. She can be so incredibly annoying.

"What's so funny about that, Isabelle?"

She purses her lips. "You're so..._dead _Jace. Clary is alive. She's fine. She still loves you. She brought you your son back. Yet you're so different - it just doesn't make sense."

I know she's right. However much I hate agreeing with people she is right. I struggle to think of something to say. "I miss the old you." She confesses at last, dropping my gaze. "At least then I knew who you were."

"You _do _know who I am. But I'm changed, Isabelle. I'm afraid." I feel small as I confess. I hadn't even done this with Clary. "Afraid of losing everyone again. If I let myself live I'll lose everyone. Everyone."

She smiles dryly. "You're wrong. If you don't live you'll lose everyone. You need to cherish things Jace. Clary forgave you. It's time to forgive yourself."

Forgive myself...I don't know if it's possible. But I can try. Will try.

Standing up, I awkwardly hug Isabelle to me, careful not to disturb Stephen. I kiss her forehead. "Thanks," I mumble against her scalp. She pushes me away, smiling to herself.

"Now go. Do whatever you need to do to get Clary back. And for goodness sakes don't pick any fights today. We can't afford a waste of time."

I wink at her. "If I'm gonna start living I'm gonna do it right."

* * *

Clary POV

When I come around I feel as if someone's stuffed my head full of fluff. I can't seem to think straight, and I feel unbearably heavy. I groan, trying to stand. That's when I feel it.

My hands are bound, and I'm tied against a dreadfully heavy chair. I can't escape even I try. For once it looks like I've been bested. Shame rolls through me, but I refuse to feel defeated. Some small piece of me hopes that Simon has made it back alive. Delivered my message.

I'm interrupted by a figure entering the room. Sebastian. His pale face is wet with a dark liquid, his white hair tousled around his head. I swallow roughly, closing my eyes. Maybe if I pretend I'm not here...

"Don't look so disappointed," he says coldly, stalking across the room towards me. "If anything you should be grateful."

"Grateful for what?" I spit, twisting away from him as best I can.

"For purifying you."

I don't like the sound of that. I stare up into his stained face. "What do you mean purified?"

He grins wickedly, lowering himself so we're face to face. "Ah, but don't you know? Last night. You drank from the cup, Clary. You're just like me now. We are one, you and I."

"I don't believe it!" I yell, suddenly feeling very small. "I would never do something like that! You're lying!"

He smiles again, reaching into his pocket. He produces a shard of glass, holding it in front of my face. I am confused for a moment. Is he going to cut me or something?

Then I see the reflection in the shard of glass, and all my hope shatters.

My eyes. They're pitch black. Just like a demon. And my mouth, stained with blood. I have drank from the cup, even though I don't remember it.

I begin to scream, and it won't stop. My scream mixes with Sebastian's laughing. It is the most horrible sound I've ever heard in my life.

* * *

**I know, I know, BRUTALLY short chapter. Please forgive me. This is a filler really. Everything begins to happen in the next chapter and onward. But I do have a few questions for you all.**

**1) I need a name for a, let us say, _new_ character, and I'm undecided between the names Jeremy and Christopher. Which one do you guys like better? I can't exactly tell you who this character will be related to but it's one or possibly more of the main characters.**

**2) After this story is finished I have a couple of events I'd like to add as an epilogue. If it were one chapter though I think it would be very very very long. So I was wondering would you prefer one very long epilogue or an epilogue split into three parts?**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing it means a lot!**


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Chapter Twenty **

**Simon POV **

I stagger through the building, clenching onto the wall's for support. I know I only drank a few hours ago but I am dry as a bone. Weak. But I must keep moving. That is not a question. It's not...

"Ahh," I wince, sharp needles of pain lancing through my side. It feels like I am being torn apart from the inside out. I don't know how I managed to get this far but I still have a tiny ways to go yet.

A tiny way that feels like all of eternity stretched in front of me.

Hauling myself down the hall, I splutter, one hand wrapping reflexively around my side. It's like I am holding myself together. The door is so close, so temptingly close, but I cannot reach it. With a crash I lose my footing, falling limply to the ground. I moan, stretching out my hand. If only...

"Isabelle," I cough, my voice small and dusty. "Isabelle! Alec! Someone help," I gurgle, unable to breath. Reaching up I dab at my face weakly, drawing my hand away. Alarm hammers me through me. It's slicked with blood.

"_Isabelle!" _

As if by some miracle the door knob shimmies. My eyes swim and for a moment I wonder if I'm imaging it. A figure steps out, dressed in all black. I hear them exclaim loudly. Arms hook under my elbows, pulling me upwards and inside. Warm air ripe with the smell of Shadowhunter blood hits me and I crinkle my nose. After the concoctions Simon forced me to guzzle down I wonder if I'll even be able to look at them normally again. The very thought of their blood turns my stomach inside out.

Someone is slapping my cheeks, shouting my name frantically. I want to tell them to go away, to stop, but I can't find my voice. A quiet voice, higher than the rest, pierces my ears. Everything hurts.

A small hand reaches out, touching my face. It's cold at first and I squirm, wanting to pull away, but something keeps me held to the little grasp. Somehow I feel the pain begin to leech away, the burning in my torso vanishing into nothing. With a gasp, I sit up, eyes wide. I feel my fangs, clearly visible, and am embarrassed. It's a reflex I'd developed in my possession - try to make myself look formidable so Sebastian or whatever creature he sent to torture me into agreement would be intimidated. It rarely worked but I'd grown used to it.

Isabelle is sitting at the end of the couch, her hands grasping my legs. I offer her a wane smile and suddenly she's throwing herself at me, crying and yelling and demanding I tell her what happened all at the same time. I clutch her to me, stiffly rubbing her hair.

"You had me scared to death!" She yells, then bursts into a new wave of tears. "I thought you died!"

I shake my head, tipping her chin up so she has to look at me. Her dark eyes meet my own. "I'm alright, Izzy. Look at me. Perfectly fine."

"Magnus said you were poisoned when we brought you in! _Poisoned_! By a rare demon blood that makes you delirious and extremely sick. He thought you were going to die, Simon!"

The words strike me with fear, but I don't let her know. Instead I kiss her, slow and reassuringly. When I pull away she isn't any calmer. "I'm alive, Isabelle. I'm alive, and I love you."

She looks at me blankly. I know what's going through her head. Isabelle never says the "L word" no matter what. In fact, this is the first time I've dared to say it to her. I self consciously notice the group assembled around us and know that I will surely die for real of embarrassment and shame if she doesn't say anything back.

"Simon..." she pleads, giving me a strangled look. Defeated, I shrug. Her eyes well up with tears again and she makes herself look away.

Magnus steps forward, assessing me, his finger tips glowing a shimmering blue. I never fully understood warlocks or their power but it certainly is fascinating. Satisfied that I'm not about to fall over dead, he steps back, making a surprise noise in his throat. "He's healed," he announces.

Jace, who has been protectively holding onto the small boy I seen the last time I saw Clary, makes a strange noise. "How? He had a very rare form of Yanulo poison injected directly into him. He should be dead."

I shoot Jace a glare. He's just as I remembered him. _Not _a cozy warm fellow. Alec looks confused, regarding the little boy with a distant expression. I myself am confused to how I'm alive.

"I'm not exactly up to date on what's going on either," I say, clearing my throat. All eyes in the room turn to me, some calculating, others cold. "But I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. We have a much more important job."

Jace snorts, rolling his eyes. "Thank you for your wise insight, Simon. We've happened to notice Clary is missing. She was supposed to be going for you actually, so would you mind telling us where the hell she is?"

Alec gives his parabatai a look, but Jace ignores it. I square my shoulders, standing up from the couch. I'm still slightly wobbly but I'm solid. "No need to be a jackass, Herondale. I know it comes naturally and all but just shut your mouth for a minute, would you?"

He complies. Shocked, I ramble on. "Sebastian has Clary." I confess. Isabelle lets out a cry, Jace's face falling. Alec grips his arm, concerned, and Magnus looks strangely indifferent. Her son looks confused by our talk, tugging on his father's pants. He is asking him something but Jace isn't answering. "And before you ask why I didn't fight to get her back from him let me explain."

* * *

Magnus looks at me, eyes clouded with some emotion. "So she asked you to tell us that?"

I nod, resting my hands on the table. "Yes. And believe me, I didn't want to leave her. But I had no choice. Sebastian would have killed me if I tried to stay."

Jace looks down at his lap, face pale. "So what does this mean for us? We can't exactly show up on Sebastian's front door and demand he give her back nicely."

I roll my eyes. "Obviously not. But we do have a weapon at our disposal." Magnus and Jace share a look. I raise my eyebrows. "What?"

Alec gets up, pushing his chair in and stalking away. Magnus watches him go with a sad look. When the bedroom door slams shut he speaks. "I've prepared a trip downstairs, so to speak. I'm going to talk to my father. I think there may be a weapon forged in the depths of the chasms of Hell that could kill Sebastian where he stands."

It sounds dangerous. "Burn out evil with greater evil," I murmur.

Magnus nods. "Exactly. I'm leaving tomorrow because I'm the only one who can go. Alec is not too happy about the whole idea." His cat eyes squint as if he's been poked. "Not that I blame him."

"So you're going to find a blade and we've got to figure out a way to make Jace the Human Torch?" I tip my head to the side. Isabelle and Jace look confused. I remember they've never read comic books and feel stupid. "Never mind. But we've got to figure out a way to light him up, so to speak?"

Magnus nods once. "Yes. If in the event something goes wrong and we don't get the hell blade, Jace will be are only shot. Just like Clary told you - the fires of Heaven can leech the evil out of someone if properly applied. Whatever that means."

Stephen, who has been quiet throughout the meeting as if he somehow understands it is important, pipes up. "Will I get Mommy back? I miss her."

Isabelle presses her hands to her face to hide her wet eyes, and even I feel sorry for the poor little thing. He's so young, so innocent. A life without his mother seems too cruel.

Jace takes his son into his arms, holding him fiercely. "Yes you will. I'll get her back. She'll be home before you know it."

Stephen smiles up at his father. I'm stuck by just how similar they look. I'm also curious to how an arrogant prick's kid can be so sweet and cute. It's the Clary in him, I decide.

"There's another thing we haven't worked out," Isabelle says at last, her brown eyes on me. "How did Simon manage to survive the poison? I mean, when we pulled him in he was nearly dead-"

Magnus's mouth twitches. "I figured that one out myself. Stephen."

Jace looks confused. "What does Stephen have to do with this?"

"Don't you get it? He _healed _him. How, I am not sure. He does have a lot of angel blood pumping through his veins. I assume it's a gift, but I'd have to have more time to be absolutely sure. For the time being there is no doubt about what he did, though. He somehow managed to pull the poison out of Simon and give him strength to be healthy."

We all stare at the warlock, shocked. I look at the little golden haired boy perched in Jace's lap, disbelief flooding me. How could someone so small and young manage to do such a thing? Angel blood or not, it seems almost unthinkable.

Shaking his head, Jace eventually speaks. "Well, we always knew he was special." He kisses his son's forehead. "I guess we just found out how."

Isabelle looks thoughtfully at the boy. "When he grows older he could be extremely useful. Healing those otherwise doomed. Staying on the battlefield to mend the wounded."

Jace tightens his grip around Stephen. "Please don't talk about him like that. He's only a baby."

A wistful expression crosses Isabelle's face. I take her hand, threading my fingers through hers. "What is it?" I ask, tone soft. I'm still trying to forget the sting of her not saying I love you back to me, but I know later when I'm alone that it will gnaw at me like a dog does to a bone.

"Nothing. It's just that Clary said the exact same thing..." she trails off, eyes misty. I swallow against the lump in my throat, and Jace goes white again. As we sit in silence I realize one thing. The only thing that matters.

We have to get Clary back. No matter what happens. No matter how hard it is. She risked her life to save me, even when I had been the world's biggest asshole. Maybe it's my turn to risk _my _life. Anything to bring her home.

Because when I look at Stephen and Jace I realize that that is exactly where she belongs. Right there, with her little boy and the man she loves more than anything in the entire world. She is the missing piece to their puzzle.

She belongs with her family, and I will die before I let Sebastian keep her from them.


	22. Chapter Twenty One

**Chapter Twenty One **

Clary POV

I'm not sure how much time passes in the dark room that I'm held in. I can't see any light and when Sebastian comes in the hallway behind him is always dark. I'm starting to give up hope.

My head feels like it's getting heavier and heavier with each passing hour. I am wracked with shivers and can't stop sweating. Sometimes I hear things, raspy, hissing voices, but I am not entirely sure if they're real or in my head.

I don't know which idea scares me more.

When Sebastian comes again I can't even summon the energy to scowl at him. I am so drained, and he knows this. He smiles to himself as he closes the door behind him. "Feeling better, sister?"

"Damn you to hell," I mutter, throat dry as sand. Every word hurts. It's worth it.

He tsks, shaking his head. "I can see you're still not warming up to me. So be it. I guess you'll just go another day without the antidote."

This strikes me, my brain processing these words in the messy slur that's become my conscious. "Antidote?"

"Of course. There is a way to fix this, Clarissa. Not that I'd ever tell you, of course." He begins to laugh, backing away from me. When he's at the door he gives me one last look. "You could live if you just stopped being such a bitch. Jace is never coming for you. You're mine now."

I grit my teeth. "Like shit I am."

Growling, he slams the door, the vibration rattling my bones. I cry out despite myself. I'm in so much pain and it's only getting worse. Yet I know I can't risk agreeing with my brother. Siding with him. Pretending to love him when in reality I want nothing more than to rip his head from his shoulders.

All I can do is hope and pray that Simon reached Jace and that they've figured out my riddle. I don't know how much longer I will last.

* * *

**Alec POV **

I've never been one for goodbyes.

Never been able to wish the departing fair travels or good luck. I hate watching people leave to where I can't protect them. Especially people I love.

That's why when Magnus wakes me up the next morning by untangling himself from me I want to explode. I hate the idea of him leaving. I'm so afraid he won't return...so afraid I won't see him alive again...

"Don't go," I say for the millionth time, sitting up from the warm tangle of blankets I've remained wrapped in. I turn my eyes on Magnus, trying to make myself look pleading. He always told me I had eyes that could guilt trip him into anything. "Please."

He sighs, rubbing his face. He hasn't applied his usual makeup, and his hair is naturally ruffled. Even his clothes are different - he could be a simple man off the street save for his cat eyes.

Magnus doesn't even look like Magnus, and it hurts me.

"Magnus," I try again, running a hand through my hair nervously. "Magnus, stay with me. I love you." I feel my cheeks grow pink. When I'd finally realized I was gay I had been certain I'd never have anyone who loved me back, content to secretly love Jace even though it was illegal and he was clearly into girls. Until I'd met Magnus. He'd changed my entire world. "I love you and I don't want to lose you."

"Alexander," he breathes, regarding me with his golden green eyes. "I love you too. But I can't back out of this. I can't-"

"Can't what?" I deman bluntly, not caring that I probably sound like a complete asshole. "Can't let Clary down? Let Simon and Jace take care of this."

He looks angry. "That's entirely selfish of you. Clary is your parabatai's girlfriend. And her son should not have to live without a mother. Not like I did."

I suck in a breath, instantly feeling bad. He continues. "I'm doing this for them. But I'm also doing this for you."

"Me?" I ask, confused. He crosses the room to me, hooking a finger under my chin. He smiles down at me.

"Yes, you. I want a world safer for you. One without Sebastian is a better world for us all." Leaning in, he rests his face against mine. "And maybe..."

"Maybe what?" I ask, lips grazing his cheek. My heart hammers. After all this time he still has this effect on me. It's slightly embarrassing.

"Maybe I can finally ask you to marry me."

I gasp, and he kisses me. I kiss him back, wishing we could just spend the morning together. Spend forever together. I never want him to go.

He opens an eye, studying me. "Would you marry me? Someday, I mean?"

I hesitate, then grin. "Of course."

Kissing me again, he stands up. "Excellent. That makes me very happy. Now it's time I get going." He steps away from me, scratching absently at his ear. "The sooner I visit good old Dad the sooner I can come home and propose to you the right way."

I blush at his words, stuttering. "I-I...Magnus..."

He winks at me, pausing at our bedroom door. "Stay cute, Alec. I'll be back before you know it." Then he is gone, and I'm already worried. I want a life with Magnus so badly it hurts.

Getting up I wriggle into a pair of jeans, tugging one of Magnus's plainer shirts over my head. His scent wafts over me, and I breathe it in. Walking to the door I stride down the hall, banging on the spare rooms doors as I walk. "Up and at 'em, Team Good!" I yell.

It's time to start doing everything we can.


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

**Chapter Twenty Two**

**Jace POV**

I close my eyes, letting out a slow breath. I concentrate, trying to find what Magnus called the focal point inside. _"The fire burns inside you, Jace. Find it and let it flow."_

Opening my eyes, I clench my fists. I can feel the odd tingling sensation of the fire blossoming, starting deep in my gut. I've worked to restrain it so long and I immediately feel the urge to repress it. _Come on, _I will myself silently. The fire crawls its way up my chest, turning my skin a white gold. It runs down my arms, stopping at the palms of my hands.

Isabelle and Alec, who have been watching the trial and error process all morning, hold their breath. The real challenge is not lighting myself up. It's being able to project the fire out. Onto my skin and out.

If I am going to take on Sebastian I need to be able to have full and utter control over the fire inside.

So far I'm not doing well.

"Come on, Jace." Alec says, his blue eyes squinted. He's had a complete change of attitude about the whole project and has been encouraging me all morning. If it were anyone else I would've slapped them clean across the face for being peppy, but since it's Alec I have a slightly better grip.

I reach again, trying to find the source of the fire. I can feel it, but I'm unable to propel it. Frustration grows inside me and I flicker out, like a candle in a gust of wind.

Swearing, I step back, cupping my face with my hands. My wrists stings from the runes Isabelle inked into me to help my concentration and stamina. If I can't do this our rescue mission might as well just not even try at all.

"I can't do this." I admit, sinking into a crouch. My head is throbbing and my mouth is dry. "I'm sorry."

Isabelle snorts. "Bullshit. Since when has Jace Lightwood been unable to do something?"

"Since now, Isabelle," I snap, feeling ashamed. I feel weak. I am not weak.

Simon, who has been keeping Stephen busy, looks up. "Maybe you're taking the wrong approach to it. You're trying to keep calm. Fire isn't calm."

I listen, tipping my head to the side. "What's your point?"

"Try angry. Aggressive. Pissed off. Maybe passion can light it up." He yawns, flashing his seemingly normal teeth. It's weird to think about how vampires are so easily disguised. I shiver as I remember what Sebastian had done to him. Simon would have been the perfect monster.

I close my eyes again, bouncing lightly on the balls of my feet. I rifle through my memories, picking out the ones that hurt the most or the ones that made me the angriest. Simon sleeping in Clary's bed at the Institute. Having to pretend I didn't love her. Living without her and not being able to protect her, not knowing if she was even alive.

Clary, Clary, Clary.

Without warning I seem to explode, skin blazing with a rolling white-gold fire. My eyes open in shock and I almost lose it. Isabelle gasps and Alec leaps to his feet, cautiously reaching for the fire extinguisher that is resting against the side of the couch. I laugh despite myself.

"I could kiss you right now, Simon!" I yell, ecstatic and buzzing. I turn, examining my bare torso. The fire blazes along the length of my body but my pants are untouched. I don't know how but I'm grateful. It'd be a little embarrassing to become naked _and _on fire.

Simon grimaces, getting up from the table where Stephen is transfixed with Chairman. "Please don't."

Rolling my shoulders I try to find an off switch of sorts. Without warning the fire dies away, and I watch it flow along my veins, disappearing behind my belly button. Content, I clap my hands together. "Well, that's solved! Who's ready to burn some little punk ass demon boys?"

Alec looks at me cautiously. "Jace, we can't leave yet. There's still some things-"

"I know, Alec." I roll my eyes, but I'm not mad. He scowls at me and I stick my tongue out at him. "_You_ need to lie to your mother. Simon needs to gather as many fighters as he can. Vampire, werewolf, whatever. Isabelle is in charge as weapons as usual. We all know Magnus's plan by heart."

He nods slowly, blanching at his boyfriend's name. "Right. I'll go to the Institute right now." He stands up, rooting around for his jacket. I notice he's wearing one of Magnus's shirts. Something I've never seen him do.

I realize he's scared. I've never seen him scared. A pain ripples through my parabatai rune and I know it's second hand fear I'm feeling. I walk across the room towards him. "Do you want me to come?" I ask softly.

His blue eyes meet mine, appreciative. "Sure. That'd be great. Do you want to bring Steph?"

_Steph_? I wonder briefly when he's warmed up to my son so much. I grin a lopsided grin. "You can ask him if he wants to come." Alec slides past me, talking to Stephen in a relaxed voice. I hear Stephen answer him. His little voice sounds tired and I guiltily wonder if he slept all right last night. I should have let him sleep in my spare room instead of with Isabelle.

"Is? Simon?" They look at me, expression almost the same. "Please don't have sex on Magnus's furniture. He objects strongly to that. Use your time wisely."

Isabelle leaps at me, spitting insults and outrage. Her fist connects with my shoulder and I yelp, pushing her away. When I manage to push her back into a sitting position on the couch she growls at me.

"I will cut all your hair off in your sleep and chip your other front tooth, Jace."

I raise my eyebrows at her. "Now those are fighting words. Don't make me tell Maryse about what you did in the library with that Blackthorn boy that one time-"

"_Jace_!" She yells, and I laugh, walking to the kitchen. Simon flips me the bird, stalking past me into the living room. I hear him and Isabelle talking in quiet tones then the ringing of a cellphone. Toning them out, I walk to Stephen.

He smiles up at me, wearing the blue sweater he was wearing the first time I seen him. "Hi, Daddy!"

I ruffle his hair and he cries in protest. "Hey little man. You ready to go?"

Stephen nods, hurrying to pull on his other shoe. When he is done we exit the apartment, Alec walking first, Stephen between the two of us. It's unspoken but I know the formation well. It's the standard guarding pair, one in front to guide and the other to bring up the rear.

Silently I thank Alec, closing the apartment door behind me. I've already lost Clary and I can't bear to lose Stephen as well. We can only hope that the fight against Sebastian ends up clean even if it's likely that it won't.

I don't want anyone else to die.

* * *

**Magnus POV **

I am overwhelmed by the boiling warmth of the stone tunnel that winds in front of me. I follow it, trying to shut out the screams and moans that seem to come out of the very walls. Sounds of torture and pain are everywhere. I'm on edge, wary. This place is hands down the absolute scariest I've ever been to, and I've been to a Lightwood family supper.

As I walk, trying to see in the flickering light, I wonder if the demon I paid to deliver me here actually brought me to the right place. There's no signs or arrows pointing me which way to go and eventually I just start to take turns, figuring I'll end up somewhere sooner or later.

After what seems like days I come into a large circular room. Oddly it reminds me of the faerie queen's court. Several well-dressed men line the walls, hands crossed behind their backs, expressions black. I shiver at the sight of them. They're creepy.

In the dead centre of the room a man lounges in what looks like a rather comfy Laz-y Boy chair. He is handsome in a way, with tanned skin and salt and pepper hair. He looks normal save for his eyes, which are coal black and flickering with spits of red fire. His seemingly blind eyes trail me to where I stop, a respectable twenty feet from his throne.

"Hello, father." I speak in a clear, polite voice, bowing my head.

The man's voice is booming, filling the cavern with its low timbre. "What brings you here, my son? I am not accustomed to visitors. Especially ones of my own blood."

"I came to ask of you a favour, Father. I am aware you are not indebted to me in any way and that you have every right to refuse. But I am facing a terrible evil in the land of the living and I know that you are the only one who could help me if you chose to do so."

He doesn't any reaction to my words. "I know of the petty games they play up above. Pretending to be holy and pure when in reality they're jut evolved apes. Pitiful waste of time if you ask me."

I clear my throat. Maybe this isn't going as well as I hoped. Yet I can't bring myself to interrupt him.

"I also know of what you seek and why you seek it. There is a blade that I myself forged. It is a very powerful blade, forged in the hearts of the ever burning fires and cooled in the river Nyx. It can smite any good and vanquish any evil."

"What is the name of this blade?" I ask, knotting my fingers together. "If I may ask."

"You may call it Ravisher. You are unable to speak its true name, as is anyone but myself. That's what makes it nearly impossible to wield Ravisher and ask it to do your bidding."

I look up at him, daring to meet his fiery eyes. "Nearly impossible? How is that so?"

Lucifer smiles. "It's quite simple really. The one who holds it and calls upon its name must pay the price. Their life."

The words hit me like a sack of bricks. In order to stop Sebastian someone must die. "Is there any other way?" I ask quietly and he shakes his head.

"No, my son. There is not. If you so desire to wield it still I can summon it up. On the condition you pay the fee."

I quirk my eyebrow. "Fee?"

"Yes. You don't think I'd let you barge in for free do you? If you wish to leave you must deliver."

I grit my jaw, looking up at the man that fathered me. "Name your price."

He yawns, flashing his sharp grin full of teeth. "Your lover. Alexander Lightwood, is it?"

"No," I blurt, realizing it is a stupid mistake. "Not Alec."

Lucifer holds up a finger. "Ah ah, let me finish. I don't want him physically. That would be a bore. No, instead I want something different. I want his mortality. Such a precious gift that most don't value."

I think about his bargain. Stripping Alec of his mortality seems barbaric. Do I have the right to do such a horrible thing to the man I love most? And all for the sake of a girl who I technically don't owe a thing. More importantly - will he ever forgive me?

Shaking my head I look up at my father one last time. "You have yourself a deal."


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

**Chapter Twenty Three **

**Simon POV **

Isabelle is strangely quiet, her dark eyes fixed on the steaming mug of tea in front of her. We've spent the entire day gathering who and what we can, and it's clearly visible that Isabelle is exhausted. _I'm_ exhausted. But I force myself to remain positive and upright. Mainly for her sake.

"Are you okay?" I ask, voice barely a whisper. Reaching out, I tuck a stray strand of her dark hair behind her ear. She sighs, leaning into my hand.

"No, I'm not." She confesses, her watery eyes meeting mine. "I'm afraid. And I hate being afraid. Ever since I was little I've always been brave. Never scared to follow Alec and Jace into a fight or battle. But now...now I'm terrified."

Somehow it's almost impossible to picture Isabelle afraid. Yet I can see in her eyes that she's telling me the truth. "Isabelle," I start, unsure of how to make her feel better, "there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Everyone is afraid sometimes."

She laughs, but it's humorless. "Shadowhunters are born and raised to not be afraid. Jace isn't afraid of anything. Alec would take on all the demon's in the world to save someone he loved. I'm supposed to be brave and I'm not." She sniffles, ducking her head in embarrassment.

"Jace _is _scared of something, Izzy. He's scared of losing people he loves. He's scared he won't be able to save Clary. Alec's afraid of failing. Of being unable to save someone or protect someone when he should be able to. And you know why?"

"Why?" She asks in a small voice.

I clasp her hand in my own. "It's because they love them. Love makes you afraid. When you open your heart and let yourself love someone you start to care about them more than yourself. You want them to be happy and safe, and if you fail them you never forget it."

"I don't know if I _can_ love someone," she whispers, looking small. "Everytime I do I lose them."

"That's not true," I argue, "that's not true at all. In fact, not loving someone because you're afraid is the most cowardly thing you can do. Life's a gamble, Isabelle. There's no guarantees. That's why you need to love someone the best you can when you have the chance. I love you, and of course I'm afraid to lose you, but that doesn't make me love you any less."

As she listens I feel something turn inside me. I hate spilling my feelings to Isabelle, especially knowing that she won't return them. It makes me wonder if anyone will ever return my feelings.

Isabelle stands suddenly, leaving her untouched tea on Magnus's table. "I'm cold," she says, pulling me after her. We walk to the living room section of the flat, where a glimmering pile of weapons and blades lay in a heap beside the coffee table. She flops onto the couch and I sit beside her.

She turns to me, cuddling into my chest. I wrap my arms around her, holding her to me. I try to convince myself I'm content with this messed up relationship, content with her not feeling the same way.

"Simon?" I look down at her, really seeing her beauty and grace. I still wonder how I am fortunate to love someone so beautiful. I smile at her, tracing her high cheek bone with my thumb.

"Yes?"

Leaning in, she slowly presses her mouth to mine. I kiss her, the taste of her lipstick and the tea on her breath an intoxicating combination. When she pulls away she takes a deep breath. "I think...I think I love you."

The words hit a wall in my mind. Am I delirious? Does Magnus keep drugs in his tea bags? "What?" I blurt, knowing that if I could blush I'd be fully red._ Smooth, Simon. Real smooth. _

"I said I think I love you. I might need a bit of time, but I'm nearly sure." Her dark eyes search mine, and I know how much courage that must've taken. I grin at her.

"I happen to have quite a bit of time on my hands," I tease, pulling her chin up to kiss her again.

We're cut short by a slamming door and thunderous footsteps. Jerking away from Isabelle I look up, eyes trying to find the source of the noise. I don't have to look for long.

Jace stumbles into the living room, carrying a limp Alec in his arms. His face is spattered with blood. I hear Isabelle scream but I'm already on my feet. Jace is frantic, his eyes blazing with fear.

"What happened?" I ask, helping him hold the limp boy. Together we manage to carry him into the bedroom he shares with Magnus. We lower him onto the bed and he cries out, but his eyes don't open. I notice the sweat soaking his brow and the erratic twitching of his limbs. "Jace, what happened?"

Jace runs a hand through his hair, breathing heavily. Stephen is cowering against the far wall, looking afraid. "We were on our way back from the Institute and h-he just...collapsed! He started crying out and twitching and I didn't know what to do! I brought him here and ah-" he cries out, clutching at his chest.

Isabelle is all business, hurriedly stripping her brother of his gear to see his bare chest. Blood is pulsing from a rune under his left collar bone. I recognize it faintly. "His parabatai rune," she murmurs. It's clear she's just as confused as I am. "Why is his parabatai rune bleeding?"

"Mine...hurts..." Jace chokes out, pressing his hand to his right bicep. "Hurts ever since...he fell," he wheezes, looking like he's about to faint.

Isabelle grabs a wad of tisues from the stand beside the bed, pressing them to her brother's skin. He whimpers, bucking against the touch, but doesn't wake. Fear seems to electrify the room.

Just then the door opens. I turn to look, muscles tensing. Relief washes through me, along with surprise. "Magnus-"

He cuts me off, crossing the room in swift strides until he's beside Alec. He bends down, cradling his head, fingers grabbing his wrist. "He's alive," he says quietly. We all look at him inquisitively.

"Of course he's alive!" Isabelle snaps, staring at the warlock with hatred in her eyes. "Why wouldn't he be?"

Jace, who still looks like he might throw up at any second, stares at Magnus. "While you're at it maybe you should explain why you're back so fast and why my parabatai is bleeding to death on your bed."

"He's not bleeding to death!" Magnus snaps, regarding Jace with a scornful look. "He's simply changing. The pressure you feel in your parabatai rune is because of this."

I tip my head to the side, confused. "Changing? What's that supposed to mean?"

Magnus sighs, bowing his head until it rests against Alec's. Almost as if sensing his presence Alec stops stirring, relaxing slightly. "It means he's becoming immortal. I sold his mortality to get out of hell and to get this," he pulls a long, wicked looking sword for, his hip. It glows menacingly in the light.

"I don't understand what you mean by selling his mortality." Isabelle says, still looking like she wants nothing more than to punch Magnus square in the jaw.

"I mean what I said. AleXander is immortal now. He's going to live forever."

Jace gasps, then collapses to the floor. Stephen rushes to him, his panicked voice exclaiming daddy over and over again. I crouch beside the blond Shadowhunter, pinching his arm. He's out cold. Stephen looks at me, his face twisted in alarm. "Is Daddy dead?"

"He's okay," I say gently. "He's just a little bit shocked."

Stephen nods, but it's clear he doesn't know what I'm saying. He crosses the room to Isabelle, wrapping his arms around her leg. She runs her fingers through his hair absently, eyes blank.

"My brother is going to live forever?" She asks in a tone of disbelief.

Magnus nods grimly. "I'm afraid so. I'm so sorry, Isabelle. I wanted anything but this, but I had no other choice. If he hates me I do not blame him."

We leave then, Isabelle and I pulling colas elapsed Jace into the living room to give the couple some privacy. I can hear Magnus crying and I try desperately to tune it out. I hate the sound of anyone in pain.

Stephen eyes the large pile of weapons. "What's that for Izzerbelle?"

"We're going to a fight, Stephen," she says gently. "A fight to get your mommy back."

"But fighting is bad!" He exclaims. "Mommy always told me that I wasn't allowed to be mean at school, even if someone was being a meany to me. She wouldn't like you guys fighting."

For such a small kid he really is smart. "We have to fight," I tell him in a quiet voice. "There's no other choice."

"Be careful," he says, looking back back and forth between us and his passed out father. "Don't let the bad guy get you."

"We won't." I promise, offering him a wane smile. I wonder just how solid that promise is. There's no guarantee we'll all make it back okay. But I can't scare him like that. Won't scare him like that.

The only thing left to do now is try our damnedest to get Clary back home.

* * *

Clary POV

The note comes some time later, when I can hear Sebastian's quiet snores in the next room. It must be night. Or maybe it is day and he is sleeping off exhaustion from the night before. I am not sure which it is but I don't care.

It comes from under the door, fluttering on an invisible gust of wind and landing on my lap. A small note folded in on itself. I read it with tired eyes. It takes me three times to finally grasp the meaning of the scrolling letters.

_Hold on, _it reads, letters slashed deep into the page. Whoever wrote it was in a rush. _We're coming. _


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

**Chapter Twenty Four **

**Jace POV**

We all sit in an unorganized huddle around Magnus's living room. Isabelle is asleep on Simon's chest, his head leaned back and eyes staring blankly, and Stephen is sprawled along the couch. Chairman Meow lays against his side, keeping a watchful eye on anyone who gets too close to the sleeping boy.

Every so often there's a noise from Magnus and Alec's room, but neither of them exit. The warlock refuses to leave until Alec wakes up, muttering about how it was his fault to the point that none of us could stand to be around him anymore. Since then a few more have joined our group, including a tired looking Jordan and Maia and an impatient Jocelyn. She's anxious to get going and join the others at the portal Magnus agreed to open.

I let out a controlled breath. Inside I feel like my stomach is about to explode with nervousness. Outside I force myself to appear calm. Every tick of the clock reminds me of another wasted minute we could be using to find Clary.

The last time we bothered checking the tracker Magnus made out of the note he sent her she was still in Idris but was moving towards the border. If we didn't move soon she could end up anywhere. The thought makes me so nervous I feel like puking.

"Jace, for the last time," Maia growls, eyeing me with a dark eye from under Jordan's arm, "if you don't stop tapping your foot I will bite it off. You'll be forced to stay home then."

I swallow against the lump in my throat. "Sorry," I mutter, placing a hand on my jittery foot. It's very early in the morning and everyone except for me and Simon are trying to get some last minute rest. I know I should be too considering the fact I have a very important job to do once we find Clary and manage to separate her from Sebastian.

Jocelyn, who has been woken by our spit, lets out a sigh. "If Alexander does not hurry up I'm leaving without him." She snaps, tossing her hair over her shoulder. It's a darker red than Clary's but it is not hard to see her mother in her. She resembles her as much as Sebastian resembles Valentine.

"That's a tad hard to do if you don't have a consenting warlock, Jocelyn." A bored voice exclaims. We turn to look, surprise rippling through me. Magnus has finally appeared.

She flushes a shade of red that rivals her hair. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that-"

He waves a hand, smirking. "No blood no foul. And in regard to Alexander he's currently preparing himself. He's fine."

Isabelle, startled awake by all the voices, blinks at the warlock. "Can I see him?"

The door swings open, a battle-ready Alec clad in all black stepping into the room. He gives Magnus a heated look then turns to face us. He spreads his arms, looking awkward. "Good as new," he declares shyly.

I stand up, letting my eyes wander over him, looking for injuries like I've done for years. It seems like he's right. There's no sign he was ever sick.

Walking up to him, I bluntly tug at his collar, revealing his parabatai rune. It's a pale grey color but it's still intact. "What's that mean?" I ask, but the question is aimed at Magnus.

He shrugs, watching as Alec timidly pulls his shirt back up. "Im not exactly sure. As far as I can tell you're still connected to each other. The link would've broke if he's become a Downworlder or a mundane. But I'm not exactly an expert on Shadowhunter runes."

Stepping away from Alec I walk to the sorted pile of weapons. When Simon had grown bored of sitting around he'd decided to help me sort them. I tuck a dagger into my belt beside the seraph blade already dangling from it. My stomach twists with a nervous anticipation.

Turning to the group behind me I feel my face light up in a grin. Their expressions range from sleepiness to fear. It's finally time. Rolling my shoulders, I call out to them.

"Who's ready to kick some ass?"

* * *

**Simon POV**

We line up along the abandoned building, waiting as one by one our pitifully small rescue party slips through the portal Magnus conjured. Taking a long breath I turn my head to the side, shivering even though I don't feel the cold.

I'm standing by myself. Alec and Isabelle are speaking in quiet voices a few feet in front of me and Jace is saying goodbye to Stephen, who looks like he's ready to burst into tears. Even though it's rude to eavesdrop I do, pretending to be interested in my finger nails as they speak.

Stephen sniffles, small hand holding on to Jace's arm. "Don't go Daddy," he pleads. "Don't go missing like Mommy. What if I can't find you?"

Jace looks his son in the eyes, a smile plastered on his face. I can see right through it. He's trying hard not to cry. Very hard. "I promise that wherever I go I will _never_ be too far away, Steph. I'll always come back for you."

"Promise?"

Jace nods. "I promise. I love you, you know." He hugs his boy to him and I can see the wounded look in his eyes. He's torn in half - not wanting to leave Stephen but wanting to get Clary home. I can't imagine the feeling.

Stephen hugs him back then wipes his eyes with his sleeve. He's wearing a green shirt too big for him, and the ends roll over his small hands. "I know. I love you too. Go get Mommy now." He instructs, letting go of his father. I know that one of Luke's pack who is too young to go to the fight is taking him to Maryse at the Institute as soon as we portal away. At least he'll be safe.

Jace shoves his hands in his pockets, walking to where I lean. He looks vulnerable for once. Unsure of what to say I take a different approach. "Nervous?"

"Incredibly," he answers in a weak voice. We watch in silence as the young werewolf carries Stephen to Luke's truck, tucking him into the front seat. Freaky Pete sits in the box, half morphed into his wolf form. I know it's for defense but it's still frightening. Slowly they drive away, Stephen's gold eyes following us for as long as they can.

Then he's gone, and it's Alec's turn to portal. I watch him as he walks stiffly to the blue entrance, pausing to kiss Magnus. I feel like I've intruded on a private moment, but as soon as it starts it's over, and he's slipping through and over. Isabelle goes next and then it's my turn.

I force myself to remain collected as I walk up to the shimmering surface. Magnus raises an eyebrow at my hesitation. "I'm not kissing you too," he teases.

"What is with everyone and offering to kiss me?" I mutter, sliding towards the portal. Behind me Jace laughs. At last I step through, closing my eyes at the falling momentum. When I land it knocks the breath out of me but I know that Jace will be coming through any second and force myself to roll a few feet away.

A hand wedges into my own, yanking me to my feet. I'm handed a bow and a quiver, which I sling over my shoulder. Alec's blue gaze burns into mine. "Take it and use it," he says, handing me three daggers of varying lengths. I tuck them into my pockets, feeling uneasy. "You're quite skilled with a bow if I remember."

"I'm no Shadowhunter." I say, ducking my head. Alec doesn't answer, moving to the next person down the line. Moments later Jace thumps to the ground, rolling gracefully to his feet. I notice he's already loaded with weapons, belt and pockets bulging, yet he still manages to gain a few more off Alec.

He walks over to me, twirling a slim dagger that glows wickedly in the pale light. I'm not exactly sure what time it is in Idris but I'd assume it was close to sunrise. I'm instantly glad I'm not jet lagged from our travel.

"You ready?" Jace asks, smoothing the front of his battle shirt. It's cropped along the arms, and I know it's so he can ignite himself easier when the time comes.

"I was born ready," I answer, and we both laugh. I am glad we can spare a comic moment. Nothing will be comic in a matter of hours.

It's finally time to get back what is and always will be ours. Clary.

* * *

**Sorry about the lack of Clary POV but the next chapters will almost all be her point of view. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Clary POV

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

The dull knocking sound continues into the night. At first I believe it to be my own knocking heart. Until the tempo increases.

Forcing my eyes to open I glance at the heavy door. It's too close to Sebastian's last check in for him to be back. The room seems to swim in front of my eyes. Is the door really opening? Is this just a hallucination?

Then a figure slides through the gap, followed by another, and another on the end. I squint, trying to make out what I'm seeing. It feels like someone has stomped on my head. It's so hard to focus...

"Clary?" A voice swims through my confusion, pricking at my ears. I raise my head, the person's body swaying wildly. The person moans, rushing to me. I feel something moving my chair. Pulling at where my hands are - I've lost feeling in them days ago. "It's her!" The figure calls, cautious to keep their voice low. The taller figure slides forward and I see strange color dancing between their finger tips.

I feel a gentle hand cupping my face, eyes glancing into my own. _No, _I think to myself, _it's just a trick of the light. _Surely the eyes of my savior aren't gold. Aren't fierce yet terrified, filled to the brim with tears. And his tooth, which I can see as he breathes out, can't be chipped exactly the same._  
_

Jace.

"Clary," the man mumbles. The other man, the one with the color in his hands, is somewhere behind me. I hear him rustling with something. "Clary, where are you hurt? Where did he hurt you?"

I feel something sharp burn into my wrist. I want to cry out but I can't. I'm too weak.

Almost as if by magic I begin to feel a trickle of something. Something hard and lightning sharp. It's strength.

Gasping, I close and reopen my eyes. I'm still weak but I can see. Think straight. I glance down to my wrist, which has been pried free from the shackles. An iratze is inked into it.

"Clary?" I look up into the man's eyes and _really _see him. Jace. It doesn't seem real. Can't be real. "Clary, please-"

Unable to answer I simply groan. "Jace." I say, and it's the only word that matters. Jace is here. Somehow he is here and he's trying to break me free. If we die trying at least I will die happy.

* * *

**Jace POV **

"Clary?" I ask again, wishing desperately she would look up. Her eyes are watery with fever and she's shaking violently. Whatever Sebastian gave her has made he every sick. She sucks in breaths with a shaking pattern, hands hanging loose at her sides. "Clary, please-"

She groans, tipping her sweat soaked brow forward. "Jace," she says in a rough voice. It feels like my heart wants to leap out of my chest. "Jace." She repeats, her voice growing quieter with each repeat of my name.

I hang onto her limp hand. It's swollen from being restricted for so long and finally recieving blood flow. Worried she's draining her strength to fast I take her face in my free hand.

"Clary, sssh. I'm right here, love. I'm not leaving." Her green eyes stare into mine. A glimmer of recognization flickers in them. She shakes again, head lolling back.

"You need..." She hisses, and I catch a glimpse of her tongue, which is cracked and parched. Hate rolls through me. Sebastian will pay for this. "T-to go."

Magnus straightens up, dusting his hands on his palms. "Not without you." He pivots, picking up Clary's right wrist. "Give her another one of those runes. She's weak, and my magic needs to be reserved. We still have to get her out of here."

I nod, using my stele to quickly draw another iratze on Clary. She winces but doesn't pull free. When it's set I help her to her feet. She wobbles, and nearly collapses.

Deciding to not chance it I scoop her into my arms. I feel her whimper with pain but she doesn't struggle. I nod at Magnus, and he then motions to Caleb - Simon's vampire friend who is playing guard. He quickly checks the hall then motions for us to follow.

We take corners through the twisting building, under flickering lights and past locked doors. It seems too easy. Like it's all a game.

When we break through the doors Magnus coaxes us into a run. I do, screwing my face up when Clary cries out in pain. Ahead of us glows the portal Alec and Luke are working to keep open with Magnus's spell book. Already it's starting to strain with effort.

"No!" Clary calls. I brush it off, assuming she's just afraid. Her small body twists in my arms. I tighten my grip on her, but she doesn't stop. "Jace! No!"

Pausing I look down at her, realizing I'm losing crucial time. "What, Clary? We can't stop now. If you're hurting-"

"It's not that," she pants, still struggling. "Can't you see? I'm a demon! They'll kill me!" She points at her eyes, which look fevered but are still the familiar green.

"Jace!" Magnus calls, looking at me like I've lost my mind. "Let's go!"

Shaking my head I step forward, through the portal. Clary screams an ear-splitting scream as we fall. Though when we land we're not where we're supposed to be. I stand up, hand instantly reaching to my hip. I draw one of my seraph blades, naming it under my breath.

Magnus, who has landed first, is swearing loudly. He marches in a tight circle, shooting sparks from his fingers. I watch him, keeping Clary in my peripheral vision. She's curled on the ground, eyes blank.

"What the hell happened?" I demand, watching Magnus pace. At last he stops, letting his face fall into his hands. Fear hits me like a wall.

"Clary altered the portal. We went to where she wanted to go. As for Clary," he crosses the small meadow to her. He presses his finger tips to her skull, eyes rolling back in his head. She screams, eventually going limp.

Springing to action, I push my way between them, swinging my blade. Magnus dodges, leaping away. Instinctively I cover Clary with my body, baring my teeth in a growl. "Don't. Hurt. Her." I spit.

The warlock rolls his eyes. "I wasn't. I was looking for a block. A spell to confuse her mind. But I found the source."

I wait for him to continue. He does slowly, as if he's afraid of me. "She's poisoned, Jace. A hallucinatory demon venom that makes her see things. This is why she believes she's a demon. Judging from what I can tell it's also highly poisonous."

Horror washes over me. I look down at Clary, cowering under me with wide green eyes. "No," I whisper. "There must be someway to fix it."

Magnus looks sad as he crouches beside us. "I'm afraid the only way is with an antidote. Which we don't have. For the time being we can draw iratzes on her-"

A low chuckle comes from behind us. I whip around, eyes squinted. A figure steps out of the shade of the trees, step jaunty and bold. Sebastian. I get to my feet, ready to charge and attack him.

His white blond hair hangs in a halo around his angular face. "Killing me won't do you any good," he comments, face split in a smug grin. "Not if you're looking for this." He calls, holding out his hand and jiggling the contents. It is a vial, filled with light blue liquid.

It's the antidote.


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

**Chapter Twenty Six **

Clary POV

I watch as Sebastian walks towards us, shivers racking my body. Jace hesitates, hand still curled around his blade. Magnus and the werewolf boy are also frozen. I feel like screaming. The pain is back, rolling over me in tides. Why can't they see what's wrong with me? I'm a demon. I'm-

"What did you do to her?" Jace asks, pointing a finger at me. "What's wrong with Clary?"

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, taking another step towards us. "But haven't you figured it out? Poisoning, of course." He wiggles the vial of blue liquid again. My throat aches. The iratze's aren't helping anymore. "It's quite funny, really. Makes her see things that aren't real. Makes her believe things that aren't exactly true." He flashes us a grin. "Has she told you that she's a demon yet?"

Jace growls, and it's a feral sound. "Give me the antidote. _Now._" He takes a step closer, and my heart stutters. He's being foolish - Sebastian could kill him at any second. Will kill him.

"Jace," I plead, trying to push myself from the ground. "Don't."

He ignores me, taking another step towards Sebastian. "What do you want, Sebastian? I can give you it if you just give me that antidote. Please. I don't beg but now I'm begging you."

Sebastian shrugs. I notice Magnus and the wolf boy talking under their breath, but I'm too bothered to hear them. "There's something I want but you can't exactly give it to me, Angel Boy. _She _can."

It takes me a second to realize they're looking at me. Determined to be strong I force myself into a hunched sitting position. "What?" I croak.

"Your baby."

Before I can say no Jace is moving, and so are Magnus and the boy. With a snarl he seems to ripple in midair and then he's a wolf, brindled and deadly. He wedges between Jace and Sebastian somehow, both of who have their knives drawn and almost identical looks of hatred on their face.

Arms pull me up against a strong chest, dragging me backwards. Jace is yelling, yelling for us to run. The wolf is shoving at his legs, driving him back. I want to cry out, to run to Jace, but I can't.

Then I'm falling, landing and spiraling to a halt. I hit the ground, feeling numb. Hands pull at me, voices saying my name cautiously and faces swimming past my eyes. But I can't answer.

I know without having to speak that Jace didn't make it. We left him behind with Sebastian. He sacrificed himself for me.

For the first time in weeks I begin to cry. And it doesn't stop.

I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

* * *

**Simon POV **

Some span of hours later Clary finally comes around. She's weak, but her head seems to be cleared enough for us to talk to her. Magnus filled us in on the events of the meadow while Clary was still in hysterics. He figures she has maybe a day to survive without the antidote.

None of us have the heart to tell her so.

Right now she sits with Stephen, holding him on her lap. He was teleported in at Magnus's request a few hours to see if he could evoke something out of Clary, which he did. She's speaking to him quietly, lips against his ear. He's smiling, and it breaks my heart. He could very well be an orphan by tomorrow.

I watch as Isabelle throws herself onto the floor of the small room we're staying in. Magnus tells us it's a hut on the edge of Brocelind forest but I really don't care. In fact, I feel completely numb. Like I've already failed my best friend and what matters to her.

"Can't we do anything?" Alec asks for the millionth time, pacing with fret. I know how he feels. I'm itching to move, to do anything. Something other than wallowing around and waiting for someone to drop dead or equally interesting.

Magnus looks drained. "There's nothing we can do. Unless one of you knows where Jace and Sebastian are."

Jocelyn, who's been sharpening a dagger, looks up. "A meadow, you said?" She sighs under her breath. "There have to be a million of those in the forest. We'd never find the right one even if we had time. And that's assuming they stayed put."

Clary, who was been withdrawn from our conversation, looks up. "I think I might know," she offers, nuzzling Stephen's golden hair, "but it's only a guess."

"Anything is better than nothing." I say, cracking my knuckles.

She looks uncertain but finally answers. "Sebastian and Jace both spoke of a meadow where Valentine used to take them to train as boys. It wasn't far from the shed Sebastian grew up in and the manor house Jace lived in either."

"A half way point," Magnus murmurs, looking intrigued.

Clary nods. "When I altered the portal I think that's where I took us somehow. If we can go back I'd say there's a shot they'll still be there or close by."

Jocelyn eyes her daughter and grandson with concern. "We could make it there in an under an hour if Luke's calculations were correct." She states, voice cracking on Luke's name. Her husband left an hour earlier to scout the woods for any sign of the missing member of his pack and hadn't checked in for a while. She was visibly worried.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Maia asks, getting to her feet. "I say we leave now. Get a head start before the sun gets too high in the sky. We could have this over by night."

Magnus and I exchange a look, his hand drifting to his hip where Ravisher is sheathed. We'd had a debate on which one of us would be the one to strike down Sebastian and he'd won. I had settled as his protector, vowing to take down anyone who tried to stop us from getting to the demonic cocksucker that had caused us so much grief lately.

At last he nods. "That sounds great. Jordan? Simon? You'll be the rear guards. Jocelyn and I will lead the way." Clary's mother smiles a tight lipped smile of approval, getting to her feet. "We'll meet up with the pack and the others in the trees and head out from there."

Clary looks up at the warlock. "What about Stephen?" She asks, holding her son tightly to her small body.

"I've arranged that," he says, waving his hand. As if on cue a tall woman steps through the door, brown hair braided elegantly down her back. "I'd like you to meet Tessa Herondale. She's a very dear friend of mine and one of Jace's ancestors. She's agreed to watch over Stephen for us."

The woman bows, her grey eyes sweeping over us. "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I wish you the best of luck and safe travels."

Clary reluctantly peels herself from Stephen, handing him to Tessa. The taller woman offers her an encouraging smile. Magnus steps towards them. "There's no need for goodbyes, Clary," he says gently.

She regards him with a cold look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you're staying here. You're far too weak to go into battle against Sebastian and who knows what else he has with him. We'll go, get the antidote, and return home. It's safer."

He opens his arms, and Clary hugs him. It may just be the way the light shines but I swear I see her whisper something to him. Magnus pulls away, turning to the rest of us. He inclines his head towards the door and we're finally on our way.

As we enter the tree line Isabelle takes my hand, but my mind is on Clary. She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I know her about as good as anyone. The way her eyes sparkled when we left...how her hand lingered on the door...

I shake my head. It'll be a miracle if she doesn't find a way to turn up at the battle. I can only hope that she doesn't.

But with Clary hoping sometimes hoping isn't enough.

* * *

**So who's ready for a good old battle? It's coming right up. We're drawing to an end of this fic, but that doesn't mean it'll end quietly. No spoilers though. Keep on reading and reviewing! You guys are the best!**


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Chapter Twenty Seven **

**Simon POV**

We enter the meadow, weapons drawn. Magnus falls back into the crowd, saying something to Alec before joining me. His eyes meet mine, and neither of says anything. We watch as Jocelyn walks boldly to the centre of the grassy clearing.

"Come out, Jonathan!" She cries, pulling a blade from her pocket. It's not a seraph blade but it glows in the light filtering through the trees. "You cannot hide."

A figure drops from one of the dark trees. Half of his pale hair is coated with blood and his black eyes flow with a wicked delight. "Mother," he spits the word sarcastically. "How _lovely _to see you."

Before I can cry out a warning he springs towards her, swinging the sword from the sheath on his back. It comes down with a slow arch, clanging loudly off the hilt of Jocelyn's blade. The sound vibrates loudly and I wince. If she had been seconds later...

I look at Alec, who has nocked an arrow. He shakes his head slightly, touching his collar bone. I'm confused. Shouldn't we be helping?

Jocelyn and Sebastian circle each other. It's ironic in a way - a mother would typically die for her child, not be the one trying to harm them. They hold their blades in the same way, up right and gently. No matter how different their personalities may be they are similar in small ways.

Every so often one of them will lash out, but neither of them lands a strike. I get the feeling Jocelyn is stalling her son on purpose. But for what? Just as I'm about to launch myself into the middle of them and protect Jocelyn there's an explosion on the opposite end of the meadow.

A sea of fur and snarling crashes into the meadow, up right figures running amongst them. I quickly see who they are without having to really look. Werewolves and vampires. Running together. And at the front of the pack is Luke, identifiable by the ragged patch on his side where a dagger pierced him.

It's a strange sight but not one I can dwell on. I surge forward, tugged by the momentum of the crowd. Nobody yells out a battle cry, instead drawing weapons and wearing grim looks of concentration.

It's time to end Sebastian once and for all.

* * *

**Jace POV **

I stumble up the steps, sweat pouring down my brow. I need a stamina rune desperately but every second is crucial. I may be too late already.

Pushing open the doors to the Gard I look around. The room is filled with several Shadowhunters, most of which are dressed in gear. Eyes watch me as I stumble through the crowd, calling out in a ragged voice.

Robert Lightwood stands at the front of the room. "Jace?" He asks in disbelief. I stagger up to him, grasping his arm. "What's going on?"

"It's Sebastian," I say, loud enough for the assembled group to hear me. "Sebastian has returned."

There's a collection of gasps and shouts of outrage. One woman even falls against the boy beside her. Robert looks at me, floored. "You mean-"

Striding past him I address the crowd. "You heard me - Sebastian is back. Here, in Alicante. In Brocelind forest, currently engaged in a battle where our own kind are fighting. But we need help. Your help."

There are no responses. At first I wonder if I'm doomed. If I'll have to return to the forest with nothing to show for my efforts.

Then a man steps forward. I don't recognize him, but he had inky black hair and blazing green eyes. "I'll fight," he declares.

He seems to spark something in the crowd. One by one people declare their will to fight until the number is nearly everyone in the hall. Robert barks out orders, steering me by the shoulders.

When they've assembled themselves into a battle-ready bunch he looks to me. "You'll need to lead the way. Shall I call for anyone else? Some of the Brothers?"

I think of Clary, currently dying of poisoning, and nod. There's nothing they can do but it's best to have them waiting in case of severe injuries. "That'd be great. I owe you, Robert."

He gives me a sad smile. "I'm a poor father but I try to be a good man. It's the least I can do."

And then we are on our way, moving as fast as possible. I can only hope we'll make it in time to make a difference. If we don't I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself.

* * *

**Alce POV **

The wolves surge into the meadow, streaming towards Sebastian. He screams, forgetting about Jocelyn. I rush towards her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back. Sebastian flails and swings, spattering blood and yelps of pain.

I lead us back to Magnus, who is drawing Ravisher from his hip. He eyes it in the light, then closes his eyes. Simon stands nervously beside him, fidgeting with the string of his bow.

"What are you-" I don't get to finish my sentence. In a flurry of motion and sound a black and white wave engulfs the far side of the clearing. I swear under my breath. Forsaken and demons. Bad wave to even out the good wave.

Firing a bow I watch a foresaken fall, crying in agony. Even with Luke's reinforcements we're hopelessly outnumbered. Gritting my teeth I let loose arrow after arrow.

Turning, I lock eyes with Magnus. There's a million things I leave unsaid, a million truths and hopes. I hate to think so, but it's a goodbye. "Go!" I yell, returning to the fray.

Out of the corner of my eye I see them move, Simon lashing out at anyone who comes too close. I pray with everything I have that he keeps him safe. I can't bear to think of losing him.

"Heads up!" A voice calls, and I turn reflexively. A knife flys past my head, skimming my ear. My heart pounds. I was seconds away from being stabbed.

Nodding to Isabelle I sling my bow over my shoulder, pulling a seraph blade from my belt. "_Sanvi_," I call, naming it. In response it flares to life, pulsing like a fallen star. Pivoting on my heel I dodge the blow of a Forsaken, narrowly avoiding it's clenched fist. Jabbing upward, I sink the blade into it's gut.

Hot blood sprays across my face and I grimace. But it's not dead yet. Slashing again I cut a gash along its forearm, side stepping around it and driving my blade hilt-deep into its back.

With a roar of agony it crumbles, nearly crushing me. Craning my neck, I try to catch a glimpse of someone I know in the fray. Luke is weaving between demons, snapping and clawing. Just beyond him Isabelle and Maia, in human form, fight back to back, killing with a viscousness that would stop nearly anything sensible in its tracks. Jocelyn is alone, a ball of red and whirling blades.

And Magnus is closing in on Sebastian.

_Be careful, _I think, heart hammering. Too soon I'm engulfed in the fight again. I fight angrily, trying to be as imposing as Jace and as quick as Isabelle. I wince as a fang pierces my leg, causing me to drop my blade.

As I bend down to get it everything seems to slow down. In the centre of the clearing Jordan leaps towards Sebastian. It's the last thing he ever does.

"No!" I yell, but I'm too late. Sebastian's sword stabs into his side, and he cries in pain. He collapses to the ground, human and naked, chest heaving. Maia, who has watched the whole thing, screams. She erupts in a shower of clothing, snapping her wolf jaws. Too quick she begins to run, charging down the demon boy.

Before she can throw herself at Sebastian a figure steps in front of her. Red hair billows behind her and for a horrible moment I think it's Clary. But it's not. It's Jocelyn.

Sebastian, who is already half through his lunge, doesn't stop. The sword bites through Jocelyn, piercing her back and jutting out her stomach. She doesn't cry, her face frozen in a mask of horror. I watch as she falls to her knees, hands pressed to the wound in her side.

"Jocelyn," Luke howls, half wolf and half man. He stumbles forward, face a mix of disbelief and raw anger "Jocelyn!"

I jump, using a Forsaken's corpse to push off of. Landing beside Luke I throw my arms around him, wincing when he digs his claws into me. "I have to get to her!" He sobs, seemingly obvious to the fight around us. "Let me go!"

"She wouldn't want you to do die for her!" I yell into his ear. "We'll get her, Luke. But not yet." I shake him, trying to get his attention.

Rumbling, he rips free, dropping into his wolf form. He launches himself into the battle with a new ferocity I haven't seen. I feel the lump in my throat rise. He's not fighting in hopes of getting to her quicker. He's fighting in hope of getting revenge.

I fight my way closer to the centre, trying to get close to Jocelyn's fallen body. Jordan has stopped breathing, eyes closed over. I feel sorrow rise inside me. He was too young, too innocent. Too good to die.

As I make my way across the meadow I feel rage building in me. Sebastian has ruined too many good things in this world. Max. Clary. Jordan. Jocelyn.

It's time he's stopped once and for all. And I'm not going to let Magnus do it. He shouldn't take the risk when he's not directly involved.

I will be the one to wield Ravisher.

I will be the one to die.

* * *

**Okay so there's the first bit. Will Alec die? Is Jocelyn dead? And will Jace and help make it in time? **

**Only time will tell**

**I love to hear your thoughts and comments! Keep reviewing and reading!**


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Chapter Twenty Eight **

Clary POV

Tessa looks at me, twirling a strand of dark hair around her finger. It's hard to believe that somehow she is directly related to Jace. I try not to think of that as we talk to pass the time. It makes me uncomfortable.

"He is remarkable," she exclaims, watching Stephen with her grey eyes. He has busied himself in trying to read one of the books Magnus left behind, but the words are too big, even for him. "So much angel blood runs through his veins. But is it a burden or a gift?"

I think of the story Alec told me as I had sat on the couch, mind numb. How Stephen had managed to purify Simon's blood and make him healthy. Somehow my seemingly normal little boy has the power to heal others. A small smile of pride curls my mouth up in the corner. "It's a gift. Definitely a gift."

Tessa smiles back. "He seems too softhearted to be the son of such a well known Shadowhunter." She comments lightly. "Jace is a full blooded warrior, born and bred. So brave and committed. I see William in him," she adds quietly. I rack my brain, trying to pinpoint the name. It sounds familiar, but I'm blank.

Noticing my confusion Tessa sighs. "William is - _was_ - my husband," she explains, correcting herself. She is fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist, a far away expression in her eyes. In this moment she seems ancient, older than time itself. "He was very similar to Jace. Although they don't look much alike. In fact, Jace has my son's eyes. Peculiar, isn't it? That some traits take generations to make reappearances?"

Jace's golden eyes seem to burn the back of my eyelids and I have to blink away tears. I hope he's alright, that he'll be home and safe as soon as he can. "Your son," I say slowly, "what was his name?" I don't exactly need to know Jace's family tree, but I want a distraction, and she can provide me with it.

"James Herondale," she answers proudly. A love burns in her eyes that is so intense I fear she might catch me in the flames. I wonder if I have the same expression when I talk about Stephen. "He was the most wonderful child any mother could ask for. But that's just my biased opinion. He had your Jace's eyes," a smile lights up her face, but it is wistful.

She rambles on about her boy, but I'm not listening. I'm turning my plan over and over in my mind, trying to pick out flaws. I'll need Tessa's help, of course, but that is the only loose end I can see.

I only realize she's gone quiet when she clears her throat. I look up, embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't catch that." I admit, trying not to look guilty of not listening.

Tessa laughs. "I know you didn't. You have something on your mind. I can tell."

Steeling myself, I meet her eyes. "I have a plan," I confess. "But I'm going to need your help." She inclines her head, and I spill it out. When I'm finished I knot my hands together nervously. She could easily say no or refuse. Maybe I was foolish to tell her.

"You risk leaving him an orphan," she says in a whisper, looking at Stephen. I swallow, wishing the lump in my throat would disappear. It's true, and I feel horrible. "If we do this and you don't make it back there's a chance he'll be all alone. And if Jace doesn't make it..."

"I know the risks," I say dryly. "But sometimes you have no choice."

Tessa blows out a breath. "Alright. If you so desperately wish to do this, I'll help you. But if this fails, Clary-"

"I want you to take care of him," I blurt out, getting to my feet. Stephen watches me, golden eyes heavily lidded. He's tired, but he isn't letting it show. My heart beats painfully against my rib cage.

"Pardon?" The warlock girl looks at me as if I've slapped her.

"I said if I don't make it back and if Jace is...gone..." I choke on the word, not wanting to utter it, let alone consider the possibility, "then I want you to take care of Stephen. You're his family too."

Her eyes mist over and she firmly nods. "I'd be honored. It's been so long..."

Not wanting to get choked up, I stretch, ignoring the dull throbs of pain spreading through my body that shows the presence of the poison coursing through me. "Okay," I say. "Okay. Let's get going then. Every second counts."

This plan is foolish and incredibly selfish, but I can't not do anything.

I will bring down my brother once and for all. And if I die trying, at least it will be worth it. Stephen will be safe, and that's all that matters.

* * *

**Jace POV **

I lead the way through the forest, ducking under branches and ignoring the sweat sticking my shirt to my back. We've been travelling for what feels like hours and a few times I'm filled with a horrible dread as I wonder if we'll never find the meadow. Every time the thoughts rise I shake them away, push them back down. I have to stay confident. Fear is a weakness. Fear will kill you.

An old memory surfaces in my mind, obscuring my thoughts. I'd been about six or seven at the time, still living with Valentine and believing him to be my father. We had been training in Brocelind forest and he had challenged me to try and find my own way out of the dark trees and looming undergrowth. Naturally I'd been afraid, and had emerged from the forest several hours later. Valentine had been disappointed in me and had scolded me all the way back to the manor house about how fearful I had been. "_Fear is a weakness, Jonathan," _he had scolded, "_fear will kill you. No son of mine will ever be afraid." _

The memory swirls away and I'm back in the present time. Robert is holding my right side, where Alec usually is. A pang of loneliness ripples through me. I miss Alec. It doesn't seem right to not be fighting beside him.

Looking over my shoulder at the crowd behind me I clear my throat. "We're within a two hundred foot radius," I announce. In response the crowd begins to shuffle about, pulling free seraph blades and daggers. "The meadow is circular. Our best bet would be to fan out and attack from all angles."

The man from the Gard steps up. "I'll take a group around." He offers. Something about him is familiar. I think he's a Blackthorn but I'm not sure.

I nod, offering him a grin. "Perfect. Pick whoever you like. Robert will take a group to the east side. The rest of you will go around the west flank and move along with my group. We'll come in waves."

I hate to brag, but my plan _is_ good. We split apart, creeping through the forest. I can hear the sounds of the battle, clanging armor and howls of the wounded. It makes my blood boil, heart racing.

When we're close enough to see the fighters, I flick my hand forward. The first wave launches themselves forward, Jia Penhallow and myself leading. With a yell she pulls free a broadsword, nearly cleaving a Drevak demon in half.

I follow her lead, swinging my seraph blade wildly. In minutes I've managed to work my way into the centre of the battle. My boot snags on something, and I curse.

Looking down, I feel my pulse slow. Jordan lies at my feet, eyes unseeing, mouth open in a cry of pain. I know I have no time to grieve, but I mutter a farewell anyways. "_Ate Atque Vale_," I murmur, knowing the greeting is saved for Shadowhunter deaths but not caring. There's no time to move his body so I continue on, slashing and hacking and cutting with a blind determination.

I finally see them in the throng of bodies and forms. Sebastian keeps a clean circle around him, killing anything and anyone that comes too close. Magnus and Simon are close by, holding their own against a group of burly Forsaken. Alec is using Simon as a partner, their backs pressed together as they protect the warlock shooting fire from his hands. Instantly I know why.

Magnus is going to use Ravisher. And judging by the pace they're moving at I have seconds before he makes his move.

Spinning, I cut through a Forsaken, feeling for my focal point. The fire begins to flow, churning inside me with an eager flame. Breaking into a run I dodge around Shadowhunters and demons, werewolves and Forsaken. Even a handful of vampires are present.

If Sebastian can be defeated we might just have a shot.

Laughing to myself, I plant my feet, forming a perfect flip over the head of a snarling wolf. When I land, I'm inches away from Alec, drawing a new seraph blade. I name it, eyes scanning the crowd advancing on us.

"Jace?" Alec asks in shock, pausing for a second. A demon lunges, using his distraction as an advantage. I step forward, stabbing into it. Ichor sprays us, but Alec is safe.

"Eyes on the battle, moron," I snap, but it's in a light tone. Teasing. He smiles, returning to the fight eagerly. I nudge Simon to the side, taking Alec's back. We work better together, clearing a more even path towards the white haired boy protected by his demonic army.

At last we're close enough. I pivot on my heel, meeting Magnus's eyes. "Ready?" I ask over the noise of the fight around us. He nods once, eyes drifting over me to land on Alec. Something seems to pass between them, and then it's over.

A determined hardness fills his gold green eyes. "Take care of him," he scolds, then steps away from me. Simon moves at once, taking his side. I watch as Sebastian turns, eyes glowing with hatred. He screams something, but doesn't try to flee.

Magnus's hand reaches to his hip. I hold my breath as I continue to keep the wave of demons responding to their commander's cry at bay. One wrong move and he's good as dead.

That's when I hear her. She emerges from the opposite side of the clearing, moving fast, hair a red cloud behind her. She looks so much like her mother, so much like a warrior, that you would find it hard to believe shed ever been a clueless mundane.

It's Clary, and she's on the warpath. Her green eyes are wide, hands clenched at her sides. Even I find it hard to believe she's currently dying of poison.

"Stop!" She yells, and her voice radiates across the forest. The fighting groups seem to halt for a second, and that is all she needs. Magnus, who has just began to draw the sword, falters.

"There's no need to fight! I surrender," she announces, looking to her brother. "You can't have my baby or my son. But you can have me."

Baby? Son? I'm confused. We only have Stephen. _He's_ our baby. She can't be pregnant. Not unless...

I never get to finish my train of thought. Sebastian, forgetting all about the warlock in front of him, smiles. "Actually, I'll take the combined offer." His hand moves lightning quick, and even I am unable to stop him.

From his hand a dagger flys, whipping through the air and embedding itself directly into Clary's heart. She falls, landing heavily on her side. I feel like someone's sucked the air from my lungs.

Turning to the shocked fighters, Sebastian crows in victory. "Anyone else fancy a dagger to the heart?"

I step forward, letting the fire burn free. It blazes brilliantly, brighter than I've ever seen it. He starts at the sight of me, but doesn't back down. "Bring it, Jonathan Morgenstern." I say in a cold voice. We're evenly matched him and I, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

After all, I have nothing at all to lose.

* * *

**So, that's that. The battle isn't over yet so who knows what'a going to happen. All shall be resolved one way or another in the next and final battle chapter. After that who knows what will happen.**

**Keep on reading and reviewing!**


	30. Chapter Twenty Nine

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

**Simon POV **

I watch as Jace and Sebastian circle each other. For some reason I'm reminded of a program I seen once on the discovery channel when I was little. Rebecca and I had been bored one weekend and the first thing that had came on the television was a documentary on lions. It had showed two males fighting over the leadership of a pride.

Right now, the two boys could be lions, Jace with his golden hair and Sebastian with his white. Despite being burning up in white hot flames Sebastian still looks fierce, the long sword in his palm pointed dangerously at Jace. His lip is curled in a snarl, his black eyes narrowed. "Make your move," he taunts, stepping closer. Jace doesn't back up, clenching and then releasing his palms. I tip my head back, praying he doesn't lose his focus. Not now.

"Why did you kill her?" Jace asks in a deadly tone, hands shaking. His expression is murder. If looks could kill Sebastian would be writhing on the forest floor. "You poison her, offer an antidote, then kill her anyways. What did you aim to do?"

Sebastian makes a motion with his hand, and his ranks of demons and Forsaken seem to pass something among themselves. They retreat slightly, whispering in a language I don't understand. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. When they've fallen back to nearly the tree line, he stills.

"Don't you understand?" He asks, brushing his hair off his forehead. My eyes pick up the tremor of his hand, the quivering way he lowers his arm. If I didn't know better I'd assume he was afraid. "I never did this to hurt Clary. I did this to hurt you, Jace Lightwood. From the very beginning this was about you."

Jace looks pale as he answers. "Me? Why me? I saved your life, Sebastian. I let you run when the Clave was closing in on you, and _this _is how you repay me? Don't you think you've hurt me enough?" He doesn't speak names but I have a general idea of who. Max. Jocelyn. Jordan. Clary. All the others who died in the fight in Idris five years ago.

"You were always the favorite." Sebastian spits, slashing his sword angrily. Jace avoids him easily, flaring the fire in his palms in a warning. "From the day you were born Father loved you more. You were everything I wasn't and can never be. Good. Whole. Pure. I'm damaged goods, Jonathan. We share the same name and same skills but we are opposites. Light and dark. Day and night. That's why I wanted to hurt you so bad, why I have. Maybe I could make you feel something like what I felt growing up in your shadow."

On the word shadow he lunges. I know then it's time. Grabbing Magnus's arm, I pull him forward. He moves instantly, raising Ravisher. Jace dodges the sword's blow, diving towards the demon boy. He knocks him to the ground, covering his body with his arm. Gritting his teeth he locks his arms around Sebastian, burning like a fire. Sebastian screams, arching and bucking, trying to break free.

Magnus raises the sword, it's black blade glowing as the sun strikes it. The meadow seems to freeze in time. Jace looks up at us from behind Sebastian's head, eyes pleading with us to hurry. I can see his energy waning with every second.

That's about when the knife hits Magnus and he falls, clutching his ribs. Ravisher falls to the ground, rolling through the grass. I cry out, bending to grab it, but I'm too late. A hand snatches it, a small body darting forward.

I stare in disbelief. _Clary_?! But she was just dead. I watched her die. My brain spins, and I don't have time to grasp her.

Holding the sword she cries out. "Sorrow!" She screams, and then throws her body weight down. I know then what she has done. She's found out the sword's real name, and she intends to use it. Pride and sadness echo inside me at the same time. That's the smart brave Clary I know and love.

The sword moves lightning quick, embedding itself directly into Sebastian's chest. There's a resounding bang, and a blinding flash of light.

Then the meadow goes dark and I fall, spinning into the darkness.

* * *

Clary POV

Sorrow seems to disolve, burning into dark flames and sinking into the ground. Unable to hold myself up any longer I fall, collapsing to my knees. Jace has slid out from under Sebastian and is gasping in the grass a few feet away, choking for breath. I try to open my eyes, try to see if he's okay, but I can't.

My body sags, and I feel the green grass soaked with dark blood squishing against my cheek. My eyes, which are blurry, find Sebastian. He is still breathing, but shallowly. I watch in disbelief as he turns his head to the side, eyes meeting mine.

Shock rolls through me. His eyes, which I am so used to be being black and bottomless, are green. Bright, pure green. The color of my own. He makes a gurgling noise in his throat, hand twitching as if he wishes to reach out. "C-C-Clary," the word bubbles in his throat, and I watch weakly as he coughs up a puddle of blood. "Cl-lary,"

Somehow I find the strength to take his hand. His fingers are clammy, and they are shaking. Sticky tears stain my cheeks. This is the brother I could have had. The brother I _should _have had if it weren't for our father. I feel sorry for the boy, sorry for the life he lost. As I hold his hand I hear him let out a strangled sob. "I'm sorry," he manages to say, gasping the words out. I try to ignore the awful gurgling that is his breathing.

"It's alright," I whisper, fighting to keep my eyes open. "It's alright, Jonathan."

His head lolls back, throat convulsing. His green eyes squint and then widen. I wonder if he knows what happened to know, knows how he had his life stripped away from him due to Valentine. Images flash through my mind. Images of what could have been if things were different. Jonathan showing me how to first hold a dagger. Reading in the library of a manor house. Family dinners at a dining table with a normal father and our mother still very much in love. Growing up with the big brother I always wanted.

Images of what would never be.

With a final shuddering breath he lies still, eyelids fluttering shut. The blackness around my eyes is closing in, and I know my time is almost up. I have done what is right. I have saved the ones I love most in this world. Yet I find myself wishing to hold Stephen one last time, to apologize for leaving him to grow up in this world without a mother.

"Ave Atque Vale, Jonathan Fairchild," I whisper, and then I fade. I am no more, and neither is Jonathan. The wheel has come full circle.

* * *

**Alec POV **

I sit up, wincing. My head feels like it's been run over by a transport truck, and there's a sharp ache in my leg. Pushing myself up, I look around. The clearing is littered with still Shadowhunters and dead demons. For a horrible moment I fear they're all dead. Then I see movement. Jia Penhallow tending to those who have woken up, making use of what she has. She has a nasty cut over her eyelid but she inks runes onto people without blinking, ignoring her own needs for those around her.

Rolling to my feet, I stifle the cry of pain that burns in my throat. Something is definitely wrong with my leg. I try to place weight on it but give up when it's too physically draining. Dropping to my knees, I crawl forward. Jocelyn is the first person I reach.

Surprisingly, she's breathing. I let out a breath of surprise, reaching for her hand. I squeeze it lightly, trying to gain her attention. "Jocelyn? Jocelyn, can you hear me?" She groans, green eyes opening. They are watery, but they're open. Her other hand is pressed to her stomach where Sebastian's sword has made an ugly wound. The bleeding has died down, but she's not in the clear yet.

Fumbling in my pocket I locate my stele. Quickly I place iratze's along her arm, watching as the tiny scratches along her limbs begin to knit themselves together. She sighs, wriggling as the pain begins to lift.

I place my hand on her shoulder. "Stay still, okay? Someone will be along shortly to collect you."

Her green eyes burn into mine. "Where's Clary?"

A lump rises in my throat. After Clary impaled Sebastian I lost track of her. Trying to appear casual I glance over the field of stirring bodies. My eyes find the tangle of red hair that belongs to Jocelyn's daughter. She's deathly still.

_Lie, _I think to myself, forcing myself to push down the tears threatening to form. "She's fine," I promise, thankful that my voice remains steady. "Magnus is seeing to her right now."

Jocelyn nods, sinking back into the grass. Uneasy, I trace a rune of sedation into her wrist. Her eyelids flutter shut, and she frowns. "Alec..."

"Rest, Jocelyn," I mumur, crawling away from her. Ignoring those littered between her and her daughter - including Magnus - as I crawl to Clary's still body. A little ways of way Jace is twitching on the grass, body buckling as his muscles tense and release choppily. I know I should be making sure he's alright first but I know he'd want to me try and help Clary.

Sebastian lies face up, his eyes closed. Reaching out, I slowly peel one open. Surprise slams into me. His eyes are green, bright as the grass underneath him. They're the same color as Clary's.

I don't know what went on when Clary stabbed her brother, but clearly it was miraculous. Picking up his wrist, I make a quick nick into the skin. The droplets of blood that fall are red. "By the Angel," I mutter. He's human, demon blood gone. Reaching up, I wriggle my hand under his chest gear, feeling around the ragged hole in his chest. There is no pulse. Sebastian is dead.

Kneeling forward, I quickly grasp Clary, peeling away her torso gear. It falls off her and I notice it's many sizes too big for her. Clary, always so small, seeming to be so weak but being the exact opposite. She was always so strong, so determined. "Don't think that way," I growl to myself, hands shaking. I press my palms to her chest, feeling for something. Anything.

Dread seems to pulse with every beat of my heart. "Please, Clary," I mutter. The tears I fought back have made an appearance, spilling over and down my cheeks. I haven't cried since Max died. I hate crying. "Please don't be dead. Don't you do this to Jace." Trying to remember what we had learned in Hodge's class on first aid, I begin to press on her chest, leaning down and pressing my mouth to hers.

Hysteric laughter fills me when I pull away from blowing breath into her mouth. It's the first and only time I've ever kissed a girl, if I could consider this a kiss of sorts. I press down again, leaning in to inflate her lungs. There is no response. I scream in anger, focusing on keeping my compresses controlled so I don't hurt her.

"Goddamnit, Clary! You are not dead! Do you hear me?" I continue my pattern, hoping with everything I have that she'll respond. "You broke Jace's heart when you left, and now you're back. You're back, and you're going to live. You're going to marry Jace and live happily ever after. You're. Not. Dead."

Then, as if surfacing from a dive, Clary splutters a breath. I cry out, removing my hands. She draws another small breath, eyes fixing on me. "Antidote," she chokes, reaching towards me. "Alec-"

"Of course!" I exclaim, digging into Sebastian's pockets. I search desperately, trying to find the vial. My heart seems to sink. If Sebastian dropped it or it got crushed in the fight I have no hope.

Then my fingers close around it. Pulling it free, I pull the cork. Clary weakly opens her mouth, and I splash the blue liquid inside. She cries out, as if it hurts, but manages to swallow.

"Tell Jace..." She says weakly, trying to find her words. "Tell him I love-"

And then she's gone, eyes rolling back in her head. Panic hits me, and the tears begin to flow again. "_Magnus_!" I scream, falling onto my hands and knees. I pass out, the pain engulfing me and sinking me down. I'm aware of hands lifting me, pulling me up and yelling my name.

I'm too weak to answer.

I've done everything and I could, and it might be for nothing.

* * *

**The fight is over! You guys will find out who survived and who didn't in the next chapter! The next one is going to be a bit long to write, so I apologize if it takes some time.**

**Comments? Thoughts? Questions? I'd love to hear 'em!**


	31. Chapter Thirty

**Chapter Thirty **

Clary POV

I'm aware of sound in the blackness that follows. I wonder if I am dead, drifting on to whatever comes after life. There is no pain, only numbness.

Sometimes I hear voices, but they're muffled. As if I'm being spoken to by someone on shore and I'm hundreds of feet below water. I want to answer them but I can't. My tongue is a lead weight I can't seem to move. And I am drifting, lost at sea.

* * *

An unmeasurable amount of time later I feel something. A gentle pressure, but no voice. My eyelids feel heavy. _I _feel heavy.

When I open my eyes I see the familiar walls of the infirmary. Somehow we're back in New York. A hospital bed cradles me, pillows propping my head up. I feel as if they've stuffed pillows inside me too. Blinking, I let my gaze drift towards the source of the contact.

A pair of gold eyes stare into mine. Something heavy and warm seems to flow through me. Jace squeezes my hand, a smile lighting his face. Moonlight illuminates the hospital room, and I can see several beds filled with occupants.

"Hi," I croak, trying to smile. My face feels lopsided and Jace laughs. I don't miss his wince, though. He's hurt. Frowning, I raise a heavily bandaged hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lies, other hand moving stiffly towards my face. I notice it's in a cast. Confusion clouds my thoughts. Why a cast when iratze's were available? "Just a little bit of bruising. The Silent Brother's did a pretty good job putting my ribs back together."

I raise an eyebrow. "Your _ribs_? Jace, broken ribs aren't a little bit of bruising!" I'm aware that my voice is growing frantic. He rolls his eyes, placing a finger against my lips. I'm tempted to bite it, but don't have the energy.

"Ssh, you'll wake everyone. When I pulled away from Sebastian I had a bit of trouble turning the fire off. By the time the Silent Brother's arrived I was pretty banged up. They figured when we fell I broke my ribs but the fire didn't help either. It burned out eventually, but iratze's aren't helping me very much right now. Hence this stupid thing," he explains, showing me his cast bound hand. I smirk at his anger, and he scowls deeper. "What could possibly be funny right now?"

I yawn, suddenly aware of how tired I am. "You're kind of cute when you're mad."

He snorts. "Right. Don't you want to know what happened?"

I do, but I fear I'll fall asleep half way through his story. Instead, I shift, trying to get comfortable. "Not yet. I just want to know about Stephen."

Jace's mouth twitches, as if he's suppressing a grin. "Stephen's just fine. In fact, he was very helpful after the battle. The Silent Brother's have seemed to come to the conclusion that he has a healing ability hard wired into him. Like a human iratze. When we brought you in, you weren't stable," his voice breaks, and he embarrassingly clears his throat, trying to hide his emotion. "Magnus thought we might lose you. But he convinced the Brother's to let Stephen in. He sat beside you all night. Talked to you like you could hear him. And in the morning, you came around. Your levels steadied, and you started to recover."

I think about my little boy, so innocent and young yet burdened with such a huge power. "I can't believe that," I admit at last.

"Neither can I," Jace adds. "But he _is_ my kid, so that kind of explains things." I sigh, exasperated. He laughs and the sound fills the room. For a moment I'm worried we've woken everyone, but nobody complains. If anyone is awake they're not saying so.

"What about the-" I don't get a chance to finish. A Silent Brother enters the room, walking towards us. Brother Enoch. Jace stands up, nodding awkwardly at the man before returning to his own cot.

_It is nice to see you awake, Clarissa Morgenstern, _he speaks, tone light. _How are you feeling? _

"Good," I answer, feeling my eyelids start to droop. I'm unbelievably tired, despite the fact I've slept for a solid couple of days.

_You're doing remarkably well. There are no traces of poison in your blood at all. We expect you to make a full recovery. You _and _the baby. _As if he heard my concerns, Brother Enoch adds that last bit almost hastily. _When you came in to our care we were fairly surprised to find you with child. At first we were unsure how the baby would be affected by the demon poison, but it seems to be doing fine. Only time will tell for sure, but for now it is completely healthy. _

It feels as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I nod, letting my head sink into the pillows. "Thank you," I mumble, mouth heavy. "For everything."

_There is no need to thank us, Clary. It is our duty, and we are made to fulfill it. Rest now, and come back healthy. You have a lot to catch up on. _With that I drift off, back into the black sea of dreamless sleep. Except this time I am not plagued with worry. Instead I feel light, carefree. Jace and Stephen are fine. The surprise baby is fine. I am unsure about the others but I will find out soon enough.

* * *

A week later I am discharged from the infirmary, moving stiffly along the halls of the Institute. I learn with a heavy heart from Jace that Robert Lightwood was killed in the battle and that he died protecting Isabelle and Maia from a Forsaken warrior. Isabelle is shaken over his loss, and continuously blames herself. She spends most of her time in the sanctuary with Simon, who someone escaped the battle without a scratch. He's one of the few lucky ones.

Apart from Robert the causalities are minimal. Jordan and a handful from Luke's pack are among the fallen, as are a few Shadowhunter's and a pair of vampires Luke managed to round up. And Tessa, Jace's brave ancestor, had died pretending to be me so I could stab Jonathan. She sacrificed herself for me. For us.

Maryse tells me there will be a mass funeral service in Idris in two weeks time and I try to put off the thoughts of guilt and sadness until that time comes. I'm not very successful.

I spend most of my time with Stephen, basking in his presence and soaking him up like a ray of sunshine. Jace is my shadow, never leaving me for a second. At night, when the night mares hit, crippling me with screams of the dying and images of black eyed boys unfairly made monsters, his arms are there, holding me against him as I fight to regain control of my breathing. He is the only reason I manage to sleep more than a few hours a night. He is holding me together.

On days like today it's a little easier to forget Jonathan and how he died at my hand. I sit in the library, leaned against Jace as weak January sunlight filters through the window. Stephen has a book splayed in his lap, and he is trying his best to read it out to us. For someone who has just turned five he is doing extremely well. I'm so proud of him it feels like I'm going to burst.

When he's finished, he looks over his shoulder at me. Tessa kept true to her promise, keeping him safe and protected. I never got the chance to thank her and now I never will. The pain begins to rise up inside me, and I can't shut it down.

Stephen looks at me with alarm. "You're hurt, Mommy," he says, reaching towards me. I catch his hand, holding it in my own. "I can help! Uncle Magnus told me I could! He says I'm special."

I force myself to give him a smile. "You are special, Stephen. But I'm not hurt. I'm just sad, that's all." Jace reflexively draws an arm from behind him, placing it around me. Holding me together, just like always.

"Why are you sad?" The question is harmless, but it cuts deep. I find myself unable to answer, breath rattling painfully in my chest.

Sensing this, Jace speaks up. I silently thank him. "Some people got hurt very badly in the fight, Steph. They won't be coming home. Some of these people were Mommy's friends, and she's sad because they're gone."

Stephen goes quiet, thinking. His small hand holds mine tightly. "Don't be sad," he says, looking up at me. "They wouldn't want you to be sad."

Tears threaten to spill over but I don't let them. "I'll try my best."

He smiles, and I think it's the most wonderful thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

* * *

**Jace POV **

That night, when Clary is fast asleep, I gently untangle myself from the twisted sheets. She shivers, body missing the heat, but she doesn't wake up. A small patch of silver light comes through the window, illuminating her.

I watch her sleep, her back rising and falling slowly, a strand of her hair flung across her dusting of freckles. She looks so young when she's asleep. Innocent. Yet I know that any minute now she could come crashing awake, shaking and screaming silently, believing that she's back in Idris fighting her older brother. The night mares have hit her hard, and they don't seem to be stopping. I'd confronted the Silent Brothers' on it, and they said it was a side effect of the demon poison and should pass with time.

Having to watch her struggle hurt, and I wished that the night mares would stop. I have them too, I always have, but I never let on. Instead I just hold onto Clary, using her as a life line, waiting for my heart rate to calm down. She doesn't know, of course, and I don't want her to. It would only cause her to worry about me.

As I walk through the room I pause, looking at the far corner. After Clary insisted on sleeping in my room we'd had another person in the room. Stephen. He slept on a small bed in the corner, curled under a nest of blankets. Eventually he is going to move into the room next door, Alec's old room, but for now he is here.

Grasping my jacket from the top of the dresser, I watch him. _He_ is not racked with night mares. He sleeps soundlessly through the night, never making a noise. Right now he is asleep facing me, small arm draped over the side of the bed. His hair, the color of my own, glows a pale white in the light filling the room.

I walk soundlessly through the room, pausing at the door. I feel guilty for leaving, but I have to. This is important.

I move through the still Institute, coming at last to the staircase. I climb it, coming into the quiet room. The green house is always calm, and right now I need calm.

Sitting beside the small pond is Alec. He watches me, blue eyes dark in the light. I nod to him, lowering myself across from him.

Silently he pulls something from his pocket, passing it to me. I turn it over in my hand, feeling my pulse race. Tomorrow is going to be crucially important. "I'm scared," I admit to Alec, searching his eyes for any sign of amusement. There's none.

"Don't be. She loves you. When she thought she was dying she was content with her last words being used to make me tell you she loved you, Jace. It'll be okay."

I stare at Alec, my best friend, my parabatai. In the battle he was one of the injured. His right leg is now permanently stiff, and he walks with a limp. I feel guilty for not having protected him, even if it's stupid of me.

"Thank you," I say, feeling my cheeks grow warm. "For everything. For saving her and keeping this safe," I hold up the circular object in my hand, "and for being my best friend."

He raises a dark eyebrow. "Don't get all mushy on me now. It's gross, seeing the mighty Jace admit feelings."

I laugh, getting to my feet. "I suggest you don't come around the entrance to the Institute tomorrow, then." I start towards the exit, rolling the ring between my fingers. It's not traditional but I'm going to try. "Oh, and Alec?"

He looks up, painfully getting to his feet. "What?"

"If she says yes, will you be my best man?"

A grin spreads over his face. "Of course."

* * *

**One chapter left and then three epilogues! This fic is coming to an end. It's been extremely fun to write and I never expected it to be so popular! Thank you all for reading. I'd love to hear comments and thoughts so drop a review if you feel like it. Thank you!**


	32. Chapter Thirty One

**Chapter Thirty One**

Clary POV

The next morning I don't feel like getting up from the comfortable nest of blankets I'm tucked under. If it weren't for Stephen being uncharacteristically loud and rambunctious I probably wouldn't have. He bounces on the bed Jace and I share, talking excitedly about something. I barely understand a word he's saying. My mind is still fresh with the terror of a night mare, but for some reason I can't remember the details of the dream.

"Mommy, get up!" Stephen demands, tugging at my leg which dangles out of the blankets. I groan, pressing my face back into my pillow. I wish Jace were here. Maybe he could calm our son down enough for me to sit up and start the day without all this noise. It feels like someone has been hammering on my skull with a hammer while I slept and I am in desperate need of a coffee and some fresh iratze's.

Unbearably insistent, he tries again. "Wake up!" He demands, and I sigh. Opening an eye, I wince at the sharp sunlight. We need to invest in better blinds because the Institute ones are not cutting it. Seeing my open eye, he cries in victory, throwing himself at me. I grunt as he lands on me. He's gotten heavier.

"What's all the fuss about, huh?" I ask, rolling over. I sit up, wincing as he digs his elbows into my side in an effort to sit up with me. I'm still not completely healed from the battle, and his little elbows have seemed to find my bruises perfectly well. "You're never this loud."

He laughs, then tips his head back to look at me. "It's 'portant," he declares. "Izzerbelle told me so."

So Isabelle has something to do with this. I can just imagine. "Oh yeah? What else did Isabelle tell you?"

"I can't tell you that!" He protests, wiggling away from me. He jumps to the floor, watching me impatiently. "You have to get up and see."

At last he persuades me out of bed. I tell him to get dressed while I stumble through the bathroom, slowly showering and making myself look decent. The hot water stings on my healing scars but it's bearable. When I exit Stephen is nowhere to be seen.

Rolling my eyes, I exit Jace's room, kicking the door shut behind me. The hallway is empty apart from a pile of fur that is wailing loudly. I almost trip over the cat, cursing under my breath. _Does everyone have to be loud this morning_?

"What is it, Church?" I exhale, looking down at the cat. He purrs, something I hardly hear him do unless it involves Jace. Unwinding himself from around my legs he begins to trot down the hall, waving his tail. I follow him, wincing when he begins to move faster and I have to walk quickly to keep up with him. We move farther and farther, eventually coming to the elevator.

I raise an eyebrow. "Why here?" I ask, then instantly feel foolish. He's a cat, not a human. He meows, nudging my leg with his nose. Then he's gone, running back the way we came. I'm left all alone. Yawning, I walk to the elevator, hitting the button. Something is up. I just don't know what. When the elevator arrives I step into it, waiting as it creaks lower and lower.

When it opens I push the Institute doors open, blinking at the sunlight. The street is empty except for one person. Slowly I walk down the steps, raising an eyebrow in question.

Jace steps towards me when I land on the pavement, offering his hand. I take it, but he doesn't move. Instead he pulls me close to him, until our body are aligned. I don't protest, staring into his light eyes. He smiles, the fingers of his bandaged hand tracing like a ghost along my cheek. I shiver and it's not from the cold. "Come to Taki's with me," he says quietly.

Something in his voice is wrong. I search his gaze, trying to find what it is. "Sure," I agree, mentally deciding I'll interrogate him on the way there. We start to walk, Jace still holding my hand. I can feel his pulse, and it's erratic. He's panicking, and Jace never panics. Unless he's nervous.

"So why the early wake up call?" I ask, trying to appear nonchalant. "I get Taki's is open twenty four hours, but isn't that all the more reason to go later?" I keep my tone light, teasing.

He swallows, avoiding my gaze. "You'll see," he says at last. He seems to be looking for someone. I follow his gaze, but don't see anyone. "Actually, can we stop for a minute?"

I stop, complying. Jace takes a shallow breath, pulling his hand from mine. I cross my arms, watching him pace nervously. Then he turns towards me, clasping his hands together. They're shaking. Worry wipes away my frustration with him. "Jace, what's wrong?"

"I know this might be too soon," he begins, avoiding my eyes, "and it might not even be what you want. But that doesn't change how I feel. You know how much I love you Clary. I've never felt this way about another being before. I love you, and I will love you until the day I die, and if there is a life after that I will love you then." He reaches out, taking one of my hand's in his own.

I have no idea where he's going with this, but I don't interrupt him. "In your letter to me you said you hoped you had healed me, and you have. You and Stephen are my life now. That's why I can't bear to live another day of my life without you. Marry me, Clary. Marry me and be with me. Forever."

He goes quiet, eyes searching my face. Looking for a response. I'm speechless, unsure of what to say, my heart beating a slow rhythm against my ribs. I think about his offer, about what it would mean. A life with Jace and Stephen and the baby and possibly others further along. Maybe move to Idris and live in the Herondale manor house Jace has inherited. Watch our kids grow up and grow old together.

It's everything I want, everything I need. "Yes," I say at last, voice cracking. "Yes. I'll marry you."

Jace seems to be frozen in shock, but at last he moves. He steps forward, hesitantly at first, then bold. I am crushed to his chest, his familiar scent encasing me and wrapping me up. I breathe him in, and exhale him out. It seems surreal.

When he pulls back, he kisses me, slow and consuming. I kiss him back, feeling his heart beat against my chest. He pulls away first, face lit up in a wide grin. "I love you." He says simply, his left hand digging into the pocket of his jacket. "And I know it's not traditional, but I'm giving you this. I figured it was fitting, seeing as how you spent your first fifteen years as a mundane."

I roll my eyes, and he laughs. I let him slide the seemingly plain ring onto my finger. Before he does, he flips it, letting me read the inside. It's ingraved, and the quote makes my eyes water. Embarrassed by the rush of emotion, I smile at him. "It's beautiful," I whisper. "Thank you."

He doesn't say anything, just holds my hand in his own. At last he speaks. "Come on," he says, "the other's will be waiting."

"The others?" I ask as we begin to walk. It hits me then. "You had this planned, didn't you?"

The side of his mouth tugs up in a smirk. "Guilty," he admits. "And to answer your other question, you'll see when we get there. There's someone who's been waiting a while to see you."

* * *

When we walk into Taki's I see Isabelle first. She's perched at the end of the long table that's been created out of two smaller ones, craning her neck. When she spies us she smacks Alec, pointing. His blue eyes widen, raking over me. My left hand, which I have shoved into my pocket, falls free. Isabelle squeals, flailing her hands excitedly.

Jace grimaces, forcing me to take the seat closer to her. I shoot him a glare and he smiles, ignoring me as he talks to Alec. His parabatai is smiling, and he begins to gush with enthusiasm, something I thought only came from his sister. Speaking of sisters...

"Oh my god!" Isabelle says for the thousandth time, grasping my hand. She turns the ring over, then begins to shake my hand with excitement. I'm aware the few other customers are staring at us with mild alarm and amusement, probably wondering what's going on. "I can't believe you're getting married! This is _so _exciting! We have to invite everyone!"

I wince at the word. I should have known she'd be too enthusiastic about this. "Maybe not everyone," I say meekly, but she quickly shuts me down. Instead she turns to Simon, truing to engage him in a conversation about colors. He meets my hassled expression with an apologetic grin, pretending to listen to his babbling girlfriend.

Jace reaches for my other hand, holding it absently as he talks to Maia. The werewolf girl is pale, and she looks she hasn't slept very much in the past two weeks. My heart aches for - loosing Jordan must have been horrible. She sips at her coffee, keeping her eyes down. Not wanting us to see just how hard it is for her to hold on.

"Clary?" I look up, realizing it's Alec speaking to me. Magnus is nearly asleep, head dangling above his steaming mug. Alec has a plate of untouched fries in front of him, his bad leg stretched stiffly out and away from his chair. When he sees he has my attention he speaks. "Are you eating anything?"

I shake my head. "Not hungry. Why?"

"There's someone waiting outside," Jace answers in a terse voice. I look sideways at him, the hardness of his jaw and the way he's drumming his fingers on the table. "He wants to see you."

"Who is he?" I ask, standing up after Jace and Alec. They walk beside me towards the door. It feels bizarre, as if I'm a celebrity or something who needs bodyguards. We exit into the crisp morning air. I look around, trying to pinpoint a familiar face.

I find them almost immediately. My mom, a tired smile on her face, sits in her newly acquired wheelchair, Luke behind her. Stephen holds onto the arm of mom's chair, beaming at me.

After the battle had come to a stop, Mom had been treated as fast as possible but it wasn't enough. Her spine had been broken and she was now permanently crippled from the waist down. I'd sobbed for hours when they told me, which only made her upset, so Luke had banned me from visiting until she was better.

Moving quickly I walk towards them, bending awkwardly and throwing my arms around her. She hugs me tightly, then releases with a small gasp of pain. Worried that I've hurt her I back up. After a few seconds she straightens, smiling through her pain.

"I missed you, baby." She whispers, green eyes watery with tears.

"I missed you, too. How are you feeling?" The question seems ironic considering she's in a wheel chair. As if feeling the same thing she smirks.

"Like I could walk a million miles," she jokes and we both laugh. Craning her neck back, she looks at Luke. "If it weren't for Luke I wouldn't have been able to make it here. I just wanted to congratulate you two on your engagement."

I'm shocked, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Thank you," I say at last. Jace, seeming to be reassured, steps up behind me. He doesn't push his luck, standing close but not taking my hand. He's still intimidated by my mom, even if she's stuck in a wheelchair.

Luke speaks next. "I wanted to congratulate you too," he says in his gravelly voice, smiling. "You'll look absolutely beautiful on your wedding day."

"Thanks, Luke." I look to Jace then. This can't be the only reason they showed up. No, definitely not.

That's when I see him. Striding across the street, his white blonde hair tousled by the wind, is Jonathan. For a moment I am convinced I'm seeing things. Blinking, I clear my eyes. Surely he's just a look alike. Some innocent mundie, oblivious to the hidden world around him.

But when his eyes meet mine I _know_. Green as fresh spring grass. The color of my own. "Jonathan," I say, my voice barely a whisper. "_Jonathan_."

He walks up to us, awkwardly jamming his hands in his pockets. He looks lost, eyes darting around. I wonder how he's here, how he's alive.

"Hi," he offers lamely. I tear myself away from Jace, stepping towards my brother. He watches me, green eyes wary. I look at him, all of him. Under his ivory colored jacket he wears a thin shirt. The bulge of scar tissue is clearly visible and I shudder inwardly. I did that to him. I gave him that ugly mark.

"How are you alive?" I ask bluntly. "I stabbed you. You bled to death, and I watched. It's impossible-"

His eyes drift over to where Stephen stands, watching us with a curious smile. "Your son saved me. When they collected the bodies I was going to be left in the meadow, burned later in privacy. Stephen was with Magnus, and when he seen my body left alone he ran towards it, thinking I had been left behind by accident. When he touched me something happened, and my heart started again."

I look at Stephen, a feeling I don't know pulsing through me. "But how did you get here?"

"Magnus brought him," Alec says, stepping closer. "We kept him in the apartment until he calmed down and wasn't delirious anymore. Magnus rehabilitated him, I guess." He shrugs, assuming the indifferent air he's mastered.

Jonathan nods. "I met with your leader. Jia. I begged her to kill me, to let me die. They had a mass meeting and eventually decided on letting me live under one condition. I'm going to live in Idris permanently now. I'll be in a program that will teach me how to be a proper Shadowhunter. A rehabilitation program." He shrugs, but I see the fear in his eyes. He's afraid he'll mess up again.

"You deserve to live." I turn, surprised, to see it was Jace who spoke. "You can't blame yourself for what Valentine did to you."

Jonathan doesn't look too sure. "I don't know about that. I'm still learning to adjust. My doctors think it'll take a long time until I'm normal again." The words make me feel sorry for my brother. "So I guess this is goodbye for now. I just wanted to see you before I left."

I step forward, wrapping my arms around his back. He's stiff, but eventually he hugs me back. Gently, as if to not break me. "Keep in touch," I say, pulling away from him. I offer him a smile, which he hesitantly returns.

"I will. Take care of everyone, okay?" He starts to back away, looking sad.

"I will."

He nods, then looks to our mother. "I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I really am."

Her eyes roam over him for a minute, then she sighs. "Don't be sorry. Just do your best and get back to visit soon. We've lost a lot of time, and it'd be nice to catch up."

Jonathan doesn't say anything, just turns and walks. We watch him until he melts into the crowd, white blond hair disappearing as he gets further away. Then he's gone.

We say goodbye to my mom and Luke, and Alec takes Stephen inside to order something to eat. This leaves Jace and I all alone.

I feel his arms wrap around me, his chin resting on my shoulder. I close my eyes, shivering. He doesn't say anything, breath billowing against my ear. "What's on your mind?" He asks at last, voice quiet.

As the crowds of New York bustle past, there is only one thing on my mind. "You," I answer simply. He spins me around and I laugh, filled with memories and dreams of what will be to come. There's no need to be sad over leaving him anymore. No need to feel guilty. We have forever now, after all.

He leans in, nose brushing mine. "You're my everything," he murmurs, eyes soft.

I smile, taking him in. "And you're mine."

Then we kiss, and time seems to slow down and accelerate all at once. Someone calls out to us, inviting us back to the warmth, but Jace just pulls me closer. We're inseparable, now and always.

For once in my life things all right. I don't have to worry about the safety of the ones I love. To love someone is to heal, and to be loved is to be healed. I've healed and been healed, in more ways than one.

The wheel has finally come full circle.


	33. Epilogue One: A Tale of Two Weddings

**Epilogue One: A Tale of Two Weddings**

Clary POV

"We're late!" A voice calls, jarring me from my sleep. I blink, looking around the room. I'm disoriented, the unfamiliar walls confusing me.

"Clary! Get up!" The fist bangs on my door again, the same insistent voice calling out to me. I rub my eyes, the last shards of sleep floating away. It hits me then - I'm in Idris. It's May 24th. The day I've been waiting for for months now.

It's my wedding day.

Getting up I quickly move through the small room, hurriedly throwing together a shirt to go with my pajama pants. It doesn't matter what I wear because I know Isabelle will be on me like a vulture the moment I step outside. She's devoted herself to the wedding with a burning passion and she's the one in charge of making sure I'm prepared.

Opening the door, I slide out. As I predicted, Isabelle is there, grasping me by the arm and towing me after her down the hall. "We have to move," she says urgently, leading me to the kitchen. I collapse into one of the chairs, yawning. The Penhallow's agreed to let us stay in their house for the few days we're here, but right now the house is empty.

"Hurry and eat," Isabelle begs, shoving a plate at me. I barely see what's on it, reflexively chewing and swallowing. I scald my tongue on the coffee, but I don't notice. I'm too nervous.

"I can't eat anymore." I say, pushing the plate away. Isabelle has perched herself on the edge of the table, watching me like a hawk. She doesn't say anything, just scoops my plates into her arms and dumps them in the sink.

She leads me through the house, coming to a stop at the front door. "We've got to get to the Accords Hall," she informs me. "You remember the plan, right? When we get to the Hall-"

"When we get to the Hall we'll go through the side door because I'm not allowed to see inside the main hall and Jace isn't supposed to see me. Then you'll do whatever you plan on doing to me, and I wait. When Luke comes to collect me we'll walk into the main hall and the wedding starts. I know, Isabelle." I repeat the plan she's been drilling into my head for the past two weeks. I know it well enough I could repeat it in my sleep.

Isabelle beams, clapping her hands together. "I can't believe the day is finally here!" She squeals, wobbling forward on her impossibly long heels to ensnare me in a hug. I let her hug me, my heart racing.

I can't believe it either.

* * *

**Jace POV **

"Oh, just _look_ at you!"

Maryse gasps, running her hand down the front of my gear. Her other hand is pressed to her face, covering her mouth. I can see the tears in her eyes. The deep blue color, the same as Alec's. The color I've trusted for years.

I take her hand in my own, looking down at her. "I'm aware I'm something to look at," I tease, squinting my eyes at her. "In fact, if you listen closely, you can hear the single ladies of Idris crying together over my upcoming marriage."

Marriage. My heart seems to falter on the word. Today is the day. The day I've hoped for for years is finally here. Today I'm marrying the love of my life. Clary.

She laughs, taking her hand away from mine. "I'd hoped you would at least be bashful, Jace. But that just isn't you, is it?" I shake my head, smiling at her. "I'm so proud of you," she whispers. "I'm proud to call you my son."

"I'm proud to call you my mother," I return. A tear rolls down her cheek, and she quickly wipes it away. "Thank you, Maryse. For everything."

"You don't need to thank me," she scoffs, stepping towards the door. "But I'm not complaining either."

Alec comes in next, tugging at the collar of his jacket. He's wearing the traditional black and gold ceremonial gear of a Shadowhunter wedding, a gold rose pinned to his lapel. He's frowning in distaste, but he isn't complaining about the formal wear.

That by itself is a miracle.

"Well aren't you just a sight for sore eyes," I call, stepping towards my parabatai. I reach out to him, pulling him to me. He pats my back, then pulls away. "I have to say, it is an improvement from your usual black sweater."

Alec rolls his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You're not too bad yourself there, lover boy." He quirks an eyebrow, a smile on his face. "I just seen Clary. She's stunning."

"Clary," I say, my voice hitching. I'm so nervous I want to get sick. Alec seems to read my expression, reaching out and grasping my arm. I focus on his fingers, scarred from years of battle and runes.

"You'll be fine, Jace. You're _always_ fine. If you weren't you wouldn't be Jace Lightwood." His blue eyes flare at the name, fingers slowly falling away.

"Herondale, actually," I correct, the name feeling foreign in my mouth. It is my birth name, of course, and I've used it for the past few years, but in my heart I am a Lightwood. I'll always be a Lightwood.

Alec snorts. "You may be a Herondale by blood but you're just as much a Lightwood as I am." He rolls his shoulders, squirming in his suit. "Just relax, okay? In a few hours it'll all be over."

Then he's gone and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I'm nervous and excited and tense all at once. In a few hours, Clary will be called Clary Herondale. It seems impossible - I'd dreamed about this day, dismissing it as a simple fantasy, yet here it is.

I don't know if I'm prepared, but it's out of my hands now.

The ceremony is about to begin.

* * *

Clary POV

After what feels like hours of Isabelle poking and prodding she finally pulls away. She bends close to my face, assessing. Then she smiles, turning me so I can see myself in the long mirror I sit across from.

At first I'm confused. Certainly the beautiful girl in the floor length golden gown isn't me. But there is Isabelle, perched behind me with a confident grin, and I know.

I'm overwhelmed. "Isabelle, you didn't have to," I begin, but she waves a hand. She looks elegant in her knee-length brides maid dress, which is a soft gold that accents the gold eyeliner she wears. Simple, but elegant.

"Of course I did. A wedding is a big deal, Clary. You look beautiful, by the way." I smile at her, then turn to look at us in the mirror. Outside I can hear the rumble of voices, last minute guests finding their seats. My heart beats like a bird trying to take flight.

There's a knock on the door, and I know it's time. Isabelle helps me stand, letting me go when I reach the door. She opens it, and the man on the other side almost stumbles over himself.

"Luke!" I exclaim, taking him in. He's dressed in a black suit, slightly different from a tuxedo, that is engraved with gold runes. I recognize a few - love, hope, bravery, commitment. He looks handsome.

"Clary, you're beautiful!" His voice is but a whisper. He reached out, offering me his arm. I grin, slipping my own through it. Isabelle slips past us, walking to the party of people in knee length gowns and the ceremonial suits like Luke's.

The bridal party. _My_ bridal party. I get a collection of gasps, everyone staring in shock and awe. I feel my cheeks go pink in response. Then a bell tolls, and there's a flurry of movement. Isabelle kisses my cheek, careful not to smudge her job, then rushes to Alec. She slips her arm inside of his and they move to the front of the line.

"What's going on?" I stage whisper to Luke, and he laughs.

"It's the entrance, Clary. Jace's best man and your maid of honor lead the brides maids and groomsmen in. They do it different from mundanes, of course. And then it's our turn."

My heart beats a little faster but I try and hide it. "Oh," I say lamely. Then the doors open. I can't see anything because we're tucked to the side, but I will soon enough. Alec and Isabelle enter, arm in arm, moving at a slow pace. They look like a matched set with their dark hair and fine features.

Next is Magnus and Maia, Magnus winking at me before entering through the heavy wooden doors. Maryse and a nervous looking Jonathan follow them. Simon and my mom go last, him standing behind her in order to push her wheelchair. Then we're the last ones left.

"Ready?" Luke asks, smiling at me. I nod, smiling back at him. He straightens his back, smoothing the edge of his coat. I reach over, smoothing the gold rose pinned to his lapel. "Let's go," he says, and then we're moving.

I'm not allowed to have any runes other than my permanent ones placed on me, so I have to work extra hard to keep my balance and not step on the flowing edges of my dress. We turn around the door, and I get my first glimpse of the hall.

It's done up in black and gold, several benches pushed into the sides of the room. The guests are standing, all turned to look as Luke escorts me into the hall. Jia Penhallow stands at the other end of the hall, at the make shift altar. Isabelle stands at the front of the line of bridesmaids, Alec in front of the groomsmen. And there, just off Jia's side...

Jace stands tall beside Jia, hands clasped in front of him. He's watching me, mouth slightly open. I've never seen Jace shocked, but he clearly is.

We come to a stop a few feet from Jace and Jia, and I look to my mother. She's somehow managed to look regal in her wheelchair, watching me with tears in her eyes. I tear my gaze away from her. If she cries, I'll cry.

"Lucian Graymark, do you give your daughter, Clarissa Morgenstern, away to be married?" Jia asks in a clear voice. Jace had told me the ritual would be different from traditional mundane weddings so I'm not exactly sure what to expect.

Luke looks at me, his expression sad. I know I'm not his real daughter but he's the only dad I've ever known. Naturally he finds this hard. "Yes," he answers, taking my hand from his arm. "Yes, I do."

He holds my hand out, placing it into Jace's out stretched one. I step up, standing across from him. He smiles, and his whole face seems to light up. Jia begins to speak, saying the vows Jace told me about. We don't speak just yet.

"Bring the steles," she instructs. I break away from Jace's intense gaze, glancing down the aisle. Stephen walks in, dressed in a miniature version of the ceremonial suits the groomsmen wear. He looks absolutely adorable. In his hand is a black and golden pillow, two steles tied to it.

He walks to us, holding the pillow up. "Remove your steles," Jia instructs, and we reach down, careful to keep our movements in sync. Stephen steps down, walking to stand beside Simon at the end of the groomsmen line.

"Jonathan and Clarissa," she says our names, looking back and forth between us. "Do you vow to love one another through the good and bad, through sickness and health, through battle and triumph, and till death do you part?"

"I do," we chorus at the same time. My heart is beating so fast I fear it will leap out of my chest.

Together we raise the steles, encased with gold handles. I know this part off by heart.

"Set me as a seal upon thine heart," Jace and I say, moving closer so we're within touching distance of each other. I reach across, placing the stele on the area directly above his heart. He does the same, stele point pressed against my dress. We trace the rune, black and gentle, and then it fades. I know it will have melted through onto our skin.

"Set me as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death." We finish our vows, tracing the second rune on each other's dominant arm. Then we're done. We set the stele's down, looking at one another.

"I, Jia Penhallow, in the name of the Clave now pronounce you husband and wife. May your love run true and your commitment hold strong." She smiles, and then it's official. We're married.

Jace leans in, cupping my face in his hands. When he kisses me, his lips curl in a smile against my own. The crowd claps, congratulating us. I don't think I've ever felt so happy.

* * *

**Jace POV **

Later that night, when the party has finally wound down, I sneak away from the Accords Hall. I find Clary just outside, standing with Simon on the steps. A few feet away Isabelle and Alec are locked in a heated conversation that I'm not sure I want to eavesdrop on.

"Hey, Mrs Herondale," I say in a low voice, wrapping an arm around her waist. She leans into me, shivering lightly. Simon raises an eyebrow, then begins to step back.

"I'll just, uh, leave you two alone," he stammers, heading towards Isabelle. "Have a nice night."

When he's far enough I bend down, resting my chin on her shoulder. "Having a good talk with Simon?" I tease, breath warm against her ear. She laughs, trying to wriggle away from me. Eventually she does, turning to face me with a stern look on her face.

"You're drunk," she scolds, but she's not mad. "_Very_ drunk, if my observations are right." I laugh, looking at her sheepishly. I've never seen anyone as beautiful.

"I may be drunk, but I can still do this," I declare, stepping closer until our bodies are flush. Lifting her chin up I kiss her, using my other arm to hold her against me. The kiss grows heated, and when Clary pulls away I'm in desperate need of breath.

She places a hand against my chest, holding me back. "Jace, not here," she whispers, casting a glance over her shoulder. I see her mother and Luke, but they're talking to Jonathan. They don't notice us. "It's too...public."

I raise an eyebrow, smirking. "We could go somewhere a little more private." Clary blushes, but doesn't protest. She allows me to lead her through the streets of Alicante, stopping at a familiar house.

"The _Penhallow's_? Jace, really? Don't you think that's kind of pushing it-"

"Nobody will be back for a while, Clary." I promise, leaning down.

We move through the house, shedding layers of clothing until we're the only things between us are my boxers and Clary's tank top. I kick the door shut, hastily adding a rune of privacy. Clary blushes, but I don't know if it's because of this or the situation in general.

Either way, I'm not in the mood to stop and ask.

Clary's hand reaches out, tugging me down towards her. I comply, covering her body with my own. She tugs my bottom lip with her teeth and I inhale sharply, rolling my hips against hers. She's driving me insane, and she doesn't even seem aware of it.

"If you want to stop," I say breathlessly, opening hm eyes to look at her, "now would be a fantastic time to say so."

She smirks, and it's not filled with good intentions. "Do you _want_ to stop?"

"Obviously not," I answer, hands settling on the hem of her tank top. "I dont think you know just what you do to me, Clary Fr-Herondale," I catch myself at the last moment, still star struck that someone she is my wife and that we're married. _Married_. It's almost too good to be true.

"I think I might know," she answers, tone devilish. "Now get back here and kiss me."

I don't need to be told twice. Our remaining clothes seem to melt away, adding to the pile already strewn across the spare room's floor. I bend down, pressing a kiss to the rune directly above her heart. The rune that also sits above my own. The rune for love.

She gasps, and the sound only makes me more shaky. She's like a drug, and I'm a hopeless addict: I'll never get enough of her. Maybe now I won't have to worry about that anymore. She is my wife now, after all.

As our mouths meet again I find myself grinning. Clary pauses, questioning silently, but is too caught up to stop. I accept her willingly, pressing us closer together with one thought on my mind.

_I could get used to this_.

* * *

_**October, 2014**_

Clary POV

The fall air is crisp yet warm, blowing my hair gently behind me as I walk. Jace has his arm linked through my own, escorting me down the aisle. I'm filled with memories of our own wedding a few months ago. It all seems surreal - sometimes I still find it hard to believe he's really mine and we have the rest of our lives to spend together.

At the end of the aisle we break apart, taking our respectful places on the left and right. We're here today to celebrate another very important ceremony. Today is the day Magnus and Alec are getting married.

Moments later the ceremony begins, Alec walking down the aisle with Maryse on his arm. He looks extremely handsome in a black suit and dark blue tie that matches his eyes. As they walk I feel a bubble of happiness rise inside me. The Clave usually shunned homosexual Shadowhunters, but with Alec's coming out they had seemed to grow more accepting, even agreeing to let Alec marry Magnus so long as he kept his Shadowhunter name.

The pair had been ecstatic and the wedding had been planned almost instantly. Magnus had opted for an outdoor wedding and seeing as his sister had felt the same Alec had no choice. It was beautiful, with the trees red and golden and the seats decorated in matching tones. A perfect fall wedding.

Alec reaches Magnus, moving to stand across from his partner. I don't think I've ever seen Magnus so happy, and the crowd lets out a collective _awe_ as a tear rolls down his cheek. Seeing as Magnus is unable to have runes placed upon him they've arranged a mundane style wedding. The minister begins speaking immediately, reading out vows for each man to repeat.

As Magnus begins his section of the vows, I feel something sharp against my stomach. I wince, furrowing my eyebrows. Breaking my concentration away from the couple I look down at my stomach. It's swollen with our second child, who is due any day now.

Dismissing it as a normal pain, I return to the ceremony. A few minutes later I feel the pain again, a strong, heavy clamping that feels as if someone is tightening a band around my lower abdomen.

It feels exactly like a contraction.

Taking a deep breath, I turn my attention back to the ceremony. I try and ignore the pain that rolls through me every so many minutes, trying to mask the pain that wants to surface on my face. Behind Magnus I see Jace frown, his eyebrows raised in concern.

_Shit_, I think to myself, he's noticed. I smile at him, hoping I look sincere. He doesn't seem so convinced.

The minute the two say 'I do' and kiss, Jace is moving. He congratulates his parabatai, watching as they walk down the aisle holding hands, then walks briskly to me. I feel him take my hand, a cold sweat developing on my forehead.

We end up at a table a little ways away, beside the pond where the after party is being held. Jace sits me down, kneeling in front of me. His hands hold mine in their firm strong grip, and he squeezes gently.

When the next contraction hits, I don't mask the pain in time. "Agh," I hiss, closing my eyes. That's enough confirmation for Jace.

"Clary?" He asks, voice strained. "Clary, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

I shake my head. The contractions are coming quicker now. "Just a little pain, that's all." My face gives me away. Jace blanches, getting to his feet. He turns, looking for someone.

"Stay right here," he instructs, as if I plan on moving. "I'll be right back."

He jogs into the crowd, emerging with Magnus a few moments later. The newly wedded warlock looks slightly confused, his eyes still alive with excitement. I groan inwardly. Jace shouldn't have interrupted him from his big day.

"What's the problem, Clary?" He asks in an offhand way, scratching the back of his neck.

"I think I'm having contractions," I admit, feeling embarrassed when he gives me a shocked look.

Magnus becomes serious at once, pulling a chair up beside me. Jace stands beside him, fingers twitching. I know him we'll enough to know he's trying to hide his fear, trying to calm his nerves. "When did the pain start, Clary? How far apart are your contractions?"

"Well, I've been feeling kind of off since this morning." I admit, avoiding the floored glance Jace gives me. Of course he expected me to tell him. I feel guilty for not doing so. "I suppose since we arrived. But it's worse now. I'd say they're coming ever five minutes or so - ugh," I mutter, pressing my hands to my stomach as another hits.

He nods once. "Okay," he says, standing up. He turns to Jace, saying something to him under his breath. "I'm going to call the Silent Brothers, okay Clary? We're going to get you back to the Institute. One of the brother's will meet you there."

I want to protest but I know it'll be futile. Moments later I'm being loaded into a taxi, Jace giving terse instructions to our driver. Stephen comes with us, confused to why we're leaving Uncle Alec's party so soon. Jace rests his head against the seat, breathing tense as we slowly make our way towards the Institute.

Reaching to him I take his hand. "It'll be okay, Jace." I say, trying to reassure him. "I've done this before."

"I haven't," he reminds me, looking pale. We pull to a stop in front of the building, Jace throwing a wad of bills at the driver. He throws the door open, helping Stephen out then all but carrying me to the front door.

I feel sick and nervous and heavy, but I force myself to remain silent as possible. I don't want to scare Stephen, and Jace is already panicking enough. I can only hope this delivery will be easier than Stephen's.

* * *

**Jace POV **

The next several hours are absolutely grueling. Stephen is kept busy by Isabelle, who returned home early to check on us. I'm thankful for her help but too distracted to talk to her. It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a tall building, wobbling uncertainly between safety and danger.

Clary lays in one of the cots, hair pushed away from her face, body drenched with sweat. Her breathing comes in bursts of panting, an occasional scream ripping itself from her throat when a particularly painful contraction hits. Brother Enoch, who has arrived to assist with the birth, continuously reminds her to take deep breaths.

I'm so scared, but I force myself to keep a straight face. Clary's small hand digs into my own, nails biting deep when the pain rolls through her. It stings but I don't dare pull away. I'm going to be here for her until the very end, whether I'm scared or not.

"You're doing great, Clary," I say in a strained voice, watching her with concern. The contractions are very close together now. I don't need Brother Enoch to tell me what's obvious - the baby is almost here.

_Steady breathing now, Clarissa_, Brother Enoch says, his silent voice seeming to fill the room. _You're almost done. Give another push. _He instructs her calmly, his unseeing eyes trained on her.

Clary screams again and terror rips through me. What if something goes wrong? What if the baby is taking too long? What if -

A piercing cry fills the room. I freeze, my heart seeming to come to a stand still. Brother Enoch moves, making a few precise movements at the end of Clary's bed. Clary, clearly spent, sags back into the pillows propped behind her.

_Congratulations_, Brother Enoch says, _you have a baby boy_. I feel my pulse pick up again as he straightens, holding a tiny little thing in his arms. He steps soundlessly towards me, extending his arms. Wordlessly, I let go of Clary's hand.

Her sheets rustle as she sits up, trying to see. Brother Enoch gently sets the bundle in my arms, and I look down into the small face peering out from the blue blanket. A lump forms in my throat. He's so small, tiny body wriggling as he tries to get comfortable. His eyes are open, and I see they are a soft amber color.

He's the most precious, innocent thing I've ever seen.

"Can I see him?" Clary asks in a breathless voice, still straining to see. I stand up, laying our son gently into the crook of her arms. She lets out a gasp, eyes filling with tears. I stay beside her, looking at him with a mix of emotions raging inside me. "He's beautiful," she says at last, green eyes meeting my own.

"He's perfect," I say, a fierce love blazing through me.

_What will you call him?_ Brother Enoch asks, folding his palms together. I glance at Clary, and she nods. I turn to face the Silent Brother, a smile filling my face.

"James," I say, "James William Herondale."

* * *

**Okay! First epilogue done! Two marriages and a brand new baby! What did you guys think? Good? Bad? Comments? I'd love to hear!**


	34. Epilogue Two: Family Matters

**Epilogue Two: Family Matters **

**_August, 2015_**

Clary POV

Time seems to pass in blurs, highlighted by moments where it comes to a stand still. Days like today, when there isn't a cloud in the sky and the air is warm with the sleepy peacefulness of summer time. Idris is beautiful in the summer time, and I want nothing more than to kick back and relax in the warm sunshine with my family. Instead I'm doing something completely different.

Directly in front of me looms a tall house, it's windows bleak and uninviting, the woods a dark circle surrounding it.

Jace, who has been staring quietly at the house beside me, moves forward. He takes my free hand, a question in his eyes. "You want to look around inside?"

I glance at the building again, taking it all in. It's made of a pale cream and white, the front door marked with runes. Herondale Manor. Jace's inherited house, which is now ours. He had been asking me to come and look at it for months now, and I'd stubbornly refused each time. I didn't want to leave New York and the others behind. He wanted to raise our family in Idris. It had resulted in several heated arguments that left one of us fuming and the other feeling guilty.

At last I'd caved, traveling to Idris for the sole purpose of looking at the old house. I'm less than enthusiastic, but I've come too far to stop now. "Alright," I agree grudgingly.

We walk towards the front door, which is old yet sturdy. He digs in his pocket, producing a key. He inserts it in the lock, fiddling with it for a few moments before something clicks. The door opens surprisingly easy, and then we're inside. Jace slips the key back into his pocket, producing a witchlight.

It burns to life, illuminating the short corridor. We leave our boots on, walking through the empty house slowly. I can feel Jace's heart beat in his wrist, feel how quick it is. He's scared.

The hallway opens into a large room, lit by tall windows spanning the length of the entire south wall. It gives the room a warm, friendly look. In the corner an abandoned fire place stands dormant, the mantle filled with dust. Furniture covered in white sheets obscures the room, and I shiver. It's creepy.

"I thought the Herondale's came from Wales?" I say, trying to distract myself from the silly fear that's grown inside me. Memories of my conversation with Tessa whirl around my head. Tales of men afraid of ducks and the beautiful countryside of Wales where she'd lived her life with Will and their children. She had never mentioned a home in Idris.

"We did," he answers simply, continuing to pull me after him. I'm not sure how he knows where he's going. I assume it's somewhat similar to Wayland manor, where he grew up and lived for the first ten years of his life. "But nobody lives in the Wales home anymore. A manor house was built for us but since my father's death it's been uninhabited."

I am silent the rest of our tour, taking in the large rooms and warm hallways. Even though I don't want to admit it I like the place. It's certainly got more room than the four rooms we take up in the Institute, and although I'd miss everyone it would be better than our current home.

We stop in a room on the upstairs portion of the manor home. It overlooks the meadow that circles the house, giving a fantastic view of the stable and the river that cute through the property. Summer flowers blossom along the creek beds, giving a splash of color. It's beautiful.

"What do you think?" Jace asks, voice low. He's looking at the property blankly, as if his thoughts are a million miles away.

"It's nice," I admit, trying not to give too much away. "Nicer than I expected."

Something flashes in his eyes. "What would you think about living here?" He tries, cautious. I know he's hopeful - and how can I blame him? He's been away from his home for almost fifteen years. It's been a long time. "We could bring the boys here. See what they think. Although Stephen will probably love it anyways."

We both smile, thinking of our six year old. He's currently staying with the Lightwood's as they visit family in Alicante. He's curious about everything lately and has begun learning about Shadowhunting and everything about our world. I'm still not exactly happy with it but I can't stop him. He was born a Shadowhunter and he's already a natural. I shiver inwardly - six year olds should _not_ be able to throw a dagger and bit the centre of a board. Definitely not.

My smile melts away. "I don't know, Jace," I admit. "We'd be leaving everyone behind. New York. My mom. Izzy and Alec."

He sighs, stepping in front of me to block my view. Leaning down, he takes my face between his hands. "Clary, please. We have a family now. We can only stay at the Institute so long - someday we're going to have to leave."

I'm still unsure. He has a point, but I still don't know. "But-"

"Alec is married," he points out, pulling me closer. He's so close now that my thoughts seem muddled, the tiny space between us electrified. "_And_ he has a baby of his own." I think about the tiny little boy Alec and Magnus had through a surrogate mother just a short few months ago. Gabriel Magnus-Robert Lightwood. He's cute as a button with his dark hair and Alec's beautiful blue eyes, and the couple are ecstatic with him.

Unyielding, Jace continues. "Isabelle and Simon are due to be engaged any day now. You can smell it off them. I think a little alone time would be good for them."

I look into his eyes, which are still bright with hope. "My mom. I can't leave her all alone."

"Your mother has Luke," Jace says, a smirk curling the sides of his face. "And if you haven't noticed she's been dropping hints constantly about whether or not you're going to spread your wings and take of on your own. Besides," he cuts the space between us, finger holing under my chin, "_we_ would finally have alone time."

His gold eyes are dark with desire, and I have to fight the urge to crush his mouth to my own. "Keep it in your pants," I admonish, ducking under his arm. He lets out a whine, looking at me with his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. He's pretty damn good, but not good enough.

"Let's go," I say, backing towards the door. "In case you forgot we happen to have two kids waiting for us. We've been gone long enough."

"Another hour or so wont make much difference," he counters indifferently, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

Firmly I shake my head. "Not now, Jace. Don't make me rethink my decision." He seems to change his train of thoughts in seconds. "Yes, I'll move here," I say, defeated. "If you promise not to do anything stupid in the next six hours. You remember what happened the last time we stayed at the Penhallow's."

He crosses the room, catching me before I have time to move. I yelp with surprise as he lifts me off the ground, holding me so we're at eye level. Slowly he kisses me, slow and warm and everything not typical of Jace. When he pulls away his expression is sincere. Steady.

"I love you," he declares, leaning in to kiss me again. I don't protest. "And I love you especially for agreeing to this."

He reluctantly sets me down, reinforcing the height difference between us. "I love you too." I say, letting him take my hand. "Now come on. Stephen and James are waiting."

* * *

Later that night, when Jace has finally fallen asleep, I creep soundlessly from the room we share. Making my way through the quiet house, I pause at the door two down from ours. Pushing it open, I quietly step inside.

Stephen sleeps against the far wall, golden hair a soft halo around his face. He's gotten taller since his last birthday and his feet dangle limply over the sides of his bed. The stuffed wolf Isabelle gave him on his fifth birthday lays beside his pillow as usual. No matter where he goes the thing is _always_ on his bed.

I walk over to him, silently sitting on the edge of his bed. His body rises and falls in a slow rhythm as he sleeps. Reaching out I brush a strand of hair from his eyes, which are closed firmly.

Theres a slight stirring from the crib opposite of Stephen. Pushing off the bed, I pad to it, peering inside. James is awake, eyes open as he moves. When he sees me he breaks into a gummy grin, curling his hands.

"Hi little man," I whisper, reaching into his crib. His tiny hand curls around my thumb, the happy smile still on his face. Lately he's started recognizing nearly everyone. He's very fond of Stephen, much to Stephen's delight. He's a very proud big brother and tells nearly everyone he meets about his little brother.

James lets out a soft noise, letting go of my thumb. He's stretching his small arms out and I know what he wants. Picking him up, I hold him to me, rubbing his tiny back. I wince when he lets out a loud squawk, worried he'll wake Stephen. He's a loud baby, and already bold. I can see his father in him, and it worries me.

I can just imagine what he'll get into when he starts walking.

Kissing his soft head of gold hair I smile, watching as his eyes rise to meet my own. They're a rich amber color, slightly darker than Jace and Stephen's, and they have small green flecks throughout them. They're beautiful. Apart from his eyes he's nearly identical to his brother and father. Another one in the matched set of Herondale boys.

Just then there's the _swoosh_ of a door opening, and I turn, making sure it's not too fast to upset James. A dark figure enters the room, walking towards us slowly. For a moment I don't recognize them.

Then I see the familiar golden hair, a rune-marked hand running through it sleepily, and relax. It's only Jace. He yawns, flashing his row of nearly perfect teeth. James, who was staring at Stephen intently, has grown excited at the sight of his father.

Before he can make too much noise Jace takes him, balancing him in his arm. He regards me with a mix of tiredness and concern. "What's wrong?" He slurs, voice husky.

"Nothing," I say, watching James as he rests his head against Jace's chest. Jace rocks him slowly, looking like he's almost asleep on his feet. I watch the two of them, so similar looking yet somehow so different. I think of when James was a new born and how he was a horrible sleeper, often waking up screaming bloody murder and unwilling to go back to sleep. Jace had been the one able to calm him down, often holding him long into the night until his cries calmed down. I often asked him now he did it and his answer was simple: he told him stories.

I don't know how it worked, but I'm grateful it did. Otherwise we might not have slept at all in our first few months with James in our lives. I'm jolted back to reality when Jace moves, gently removing a sound asleep James from his arms.

He sets him carefully into his crib, pausing to make sure he's out for sure. When he's certain he slides away, moving to stand in front of me. My hands find his hips, hooking in the waistband of his pajama bottoms and drawing him closer. He doesn't protest, making a soft noise of surprise instead.

"How did you know I was here?" I ask, careful to keep my voice quiet.

He smiles, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ears. "Lucky guess I suppose. I know you, Clary. This is where you go when you can't sleep. And you can't sleep when something is bothering you. So what's on your mind?"

I'm not exactly surprised. He _does_ know me, but hasn't he always? "I was just thinking about everything. All of this." I splay my hand, indicating our two sleeping boys. It doesn't seem to click. Jace's expression is still blank.

"What I mean is it will be a big adjustment. A big step for us. I just want to make sure it's the right one."

"It'll be okay," he assures me, hand running down my arm. "I promise. We'll be fine. The boys will be fine. They'll be super, actually. Growing up in a manor house is the best way to grow up." He frowns, voice trailing off. I know what he leaves unsaid. It's the best way to grow up if your father isn't a crazy psychopath like Valentine was, warped by a dream that would only hurt the ones you love.

I bow my head, thinking. "There's a lot of room at the house," I say, "Stephen and James can have their own bed rooms." Right now, at the institute, we take up two rooms, but James' crying has been an issue. He often wakes up everyone in our hallway.

Jace smirks. "They could each have three rooms if they wanted. There's certainly enough." His grin grows devilish. "Personally, I think we should take the room at the end of the hall. That way the boy's won't be able to hear-"

"_Jace_!" I cut him off, cheeks burning. He laughs, then quickly silences himself. We lean at the same time, checking, but James is still asleep. I breathe a sigh of relief. "I didn't mean it that way, you dog!"

"Don't deny it," he mutters, bending down so his lips are close to my ear. "On some level you were thinking the exact same thing."

This doesn't help my blush to away. "That's besides the point," I snap, only making him grin wider. "I actually had an idea. Well, I suppose it could be considered an idea."

He raises an eyebrow. "Go on?"

_Here goes nothing_, I think to myself. "We have two amazing boys, Jace. And don't get me wrong - I love them very, very much. But I've always wanted a girl." The words fall on silence.

I watch as the color slowly drains from his face. "Another baby? Clary, James isn't even one yet. Are you sure-"

"I'm sure," I cut him off, ignoring his doubtful look. "Besides, weren't you the one who commented on how many rooms we have to spare?"

"Well, yeah," he splutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not like I don't want another baby, because I'm up for it, but it's just so soon, and-" he shakes his head, ending his babbling. Instead he reaches for me, pulling my mouth to meet his. The kiss lasts for a long time, and when I pull away I'm slightly flustered.

"Two babies in two years," he shakes his head, but he doesn't look mad. "You're crazy. This is crazy. Hell, everything is crazy."

"Welcome to the world we live in," I say, and he laughs, resting his forehead against mine. We leave the boy's room, shutting the door behind us. When we enter our room I nudge the door shut with my heel.

Everything is moving so fast. We're moving to Idris. We might have another baby. The words flash like fireworks behind my eyes and instead I try and focus on Jace. The plains of his stomach. The tiny scars from years of runes. The way he smells and the taste of his mouth, which places itself everywhere in a lazy but controlled haze.

It doesn't take much, and all too soon I'm lost in him.

* * *

**Simon POV**

Clary stands on the porch of Luke's house, resting her hands on the old wood railing. It's chipped and weathered down, but it adds to the house. Makes it feel more like a home.

I walk across the porch, standing beside her. She's a thousand miles away - green eyes focused on nothing. A million memories float around my head. Of growing up here. Weekends spent at Luke's or Jocelyn's, steaming mugs of tea and anime reruns and bad jokes. Back then she had just been simple, plain Clary.

Now...I shake my head as I look at her. Now she's a warrior, a Shadowhunter through and through. She's married, and has two babies. In the span of six years she's changed completely, but it's not a bad change. If it weren't for her and that fateful night at the Pandemonium club I would've never met Isabelle.

Slowly she turns, blinking in surprise when she sees me. "Simon? How long have you been standing there?" She's clearly embarrassed for having zoned out on me so I decide to play it nice.

"Not long," I say. "Just wanted to clear my head."

She looks past me to stare into Luke's front window. Inside, Magnus is entertaining the crowd with puffs of smoke and beings fashioned out of color and dust. Alec sits beside him, baby Gabriel on his lap. Jace and his boys sit opposite, sandwiched between Jocelyn and Isabelle. Luke sits on the arm chair in the corner, watching with a lazy contentment. I know it's supposed to be a going away party of sorts, and that's the exact reason I'd needed to step outside.

Because tomorrow Clary would be gone. Packing her bags and heading out for the home country. I'd miss her terribly. Hell, I _already_ missed her terribly. Everything was going to be so different with her gone.

"I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow," she murmurs, voicing my own thoughts. I nod, unable to say anything. She gives me a look out of the corner of her eye. "Are you okay, Si?"

I don't answer, looking out at the water instead. It laps steadily, nothing like my thoughts. "It's just...Isabelle. I want to be with her. Forever. But I don't think she feels the same way."

"I know she loves you, Simon. It's written all over her face. If you love her that much you have to let her know." Clary smiles, folding her arms. "Love isn't as hard as you think it is."

"That's easy for you to say," I counter. Her eyes flash, a mix of confusion and indignation. "Oh, come on. You know it's true. You've loved one person your entire life and now they belong to you. You're happily married and have two babies. Clary, you're living a freaking fairy tale!"

She is angry now. "Do you think it was all a walk in the park? Do you? Well, it wasn't. I had to fight for what I have. I've almost lost it all more than once. I deserve my happiness. Can you say the same?"

I look at her, at the girl I loved for sixteen years. Hadn't I grieved enough for her? And the person I fell in love with after her is just as hard. With her tendency to never express feelings and being extremely withdrawn Isabelle is incredibly hard to have feelings for. Yet I do all the same.

And maybe, if I really want her to be mine, I have to tell her.

Sighing, I grasp Clary, hugging her to me. She's warm and familiar, short and comfortable and everything I loved. She hugs me back, then pulls away. For a moment the distance between us seems to melt but the minute she steps back it snaps. We live completely different lives now, and although it hurts I'm fine with it.

"You're my best friend, Clary." I say gruffly, scratching the back of my neck. "You always have been. I just want to...to wish you good luck."

She smiles. "You're my best friend too, Simon. Tell Isabelle. I promise you won't regret it." Then she opens the front door, stepping inside. I watch for a few minutes, watch as she picks up a babbling James, his tiny baby hands flailing excitedly. Stephen nestles into her side, Jace watching with a proud look.

I wonder if someday, somehow, that could be me and Isabelle. Married with a family of our own. It's a far shot but one I'm willing to take.

I have to ask her to marry me.

* * *

**_Christmas Day, 2014_**

**Jace POV**

Snow falls lightly, dusting my hair and jacket with a fine white coat. The ground is covered with a blanket of the fresh powder, the creek bubbling slowly nearby. The water is a dull grey, the same color as the December sky.

I stretch, breath rising in a puffy cloud. Today is Christmas, our very first in Idris. I know Stephen will be awake any moment now, and will be rousing Clary and James along with him. Im not sure what he'll be more excited about - the rare snow that is falling or the fact it's Christmas. Probably both.

I take one last look at his present, satisfied. Then I jog away, feet crunching in the snow. A fire is blazing in the fire place, and several lights are on in the manor house. I'm late.

Ducking through the door I kick my boots off, hanging my jacket on the peg. There's an excited exclamation from farther inside and there's an explosion of gold and black. I catch the moving figure, stumbling at the impact.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy!" Stephen exclaims, eyes wide with excitement. I kiss his forehead, smiling at him.

"Merry Christmas to you too. Where's Mommy?" I ask, setting him down. He grasps my hand, tugging me down the hall. We emerge into the large living room, which is warm and toasty compared to the cold air outside.

Clary sits on the couch, holding onto James' hands. He's standing upright, his eyes trained on Stephen. Lately he's begun walking by himself, but he's still a little rusty. Clary, having seen us, looks down at our youngest boy. "Go on," she encourages, letting go of his hands.

He looks at her, unsure, before hesitantly stepping away from her. I lower myself, unable to stop myself from smiling as he totters towards me. When he's with in reaching distance he tips his head to the side, pointing at my hair, which is still wet with snow.

"That's snow," I explain, knowing he probably doesn't understand. He grins, amber eyes squinting at the corners. My heart seems to melt. He's just so cute.

Clary, who is watching us intently, calls out. "James? Show a Daddy what you learned today," she prods. James looks at her, then back at me. He seems to be thinking hard about something, but I don't know what.

"Da..." he tries, and I'm frozen to the floor, unable to speak. "Da...ddy. Daddy." Pleased with himself, he reaches out, clinging to my pant leg. "Daddy."

I lean down, scooping him up. Pride wells inside me to the point where it threatens to overflow. He laughs, delighted, and I look at Clary. "You never told me he learned his first word." I say accusingly, and she winks.

"Consider it a Christmas present from James. Besides, his first word was actually Mommy. I spent a while teaching him how to say Daddy." She says, looking proud of herself.

Stephen, feeling the lack of attention, speaks up. "Can we open presents?" He asks, looking like he might explode with excitement. I cross the room, sitting beside Clary. She scoots closer, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Yes, Stephen," she says. "Why don't you sort them out?" Intrigued with the task Stephen all but runs to the tree. He quickly sorts, taking several trips to make neat piles at our feet. When he's done he sits on the floor, head in his hands.

"How about you and James start?" I suggest, setting James on the floor beside his brother. With their gold curls and tawny eyes they could almost be twins. We watch as they open, or rather as Stephen opens his own and helps his brother open his own. Stephen says thank you roughly a million times. James babbles, one year old words making no sense.

Clary goes next and I go last, ending up with a new rune-covered battle jacket and a long sword which seems to fit as if it was molded for my hand among other small thoughtful things Clary thought of. Everyone is happy, and the warm feeling that seems to surround Christmas Day is heavy in the room.

I look at Clary, meeting her green eyes. I lean in for a quick kiss, reveling quietly in her soft mouth and the sweet taste of her skin. Eventually I force myself to pull away. "Stephen? There's something I have for you."

"What is it?" He asks, standing up.

I grin. "Put your coat on and we'll go find out," I say, watching as he dashes down the hall. Clary stands up a bit more slowly - her stomach is starting to swell for the third time with baby number three. The baby she hopes is a girl.

In minutes we're outside, James watching the snow with wonder. Clary holds him in her arms, murmuring soft nothings in his ear. Stephen runs ahead of me, but circles back to make sure he's going the right way. When we get close to the stable I take his hand, leading him.

"Close your eyes," I instruct, opening the wooden door. Inside, his black head extended over the stall door, Bailey wickers. Clary's horse - Irene - slumbers in the next stall, sorrel flanks almost blending into the stall. I rub Bailey's nose before continuing on. Stephen's nose crinkles at the smell of straw and horses.

At the last stall I get him to stop, opening the door. "Okay," I say. "Open your eyes."

He gasps, staring at the animal with disbelief. I watch with a smile as he walks to the horse, extending his hand. It sniffs him, shivering slightly. "Is he mine, Daddy?" Stephen asks in disbelief.

"Yes, he is. Every Shadowhunter needs a horse." I walk to him, placing a hand on his back. "You can name him, if you like."

Stephen, still rubbing the colt's brown nose, thinks. "Church." He declares. "His name is Church."

Behind me Clary laughs. "Church?" I ask, confused. "But that's a cat's name."

"I like cats," Stephen says. "So his name is Church."

I step out of the stall, watching as he bonds with the young horse. James, having made a fuss, now stands beside him, watching the animal warily but with curiosity. Clary wraps an arm around me, leaning in.

"I think he's happy," she whispers, and I smile. "Good job, Daddy."

I kiss her cheek, feeling content. "If only number three has here too," I say, and she shivers.

"He or she will be here soon," she says, rubbing her stomach. "Just a few more months." We kiss then, her reaching up on her tiptoes and me leaning down. With the snow falling outside and the boy's delighted with their Christmas presents, everything seems almost perfect.

It _is_ perfect. I have a beautiful wife, two wonderful boys, and a baby on the way. I don't know how life could get any better.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long but here's epilogue two. I didn't like this one as much so it took me longer. Thoughts? Comments? Keep them coming!**

**One more chapter and it's all over.**


	35. NOTICE

**((I made a mistake on years in the last chapter, it should've been Christmas 2015 not 2014. I apologize))**

**NOTICE**

**Hey everyone. I had a problem with my internet and actually lost 5000 words of the third epilogue so I've decided to rewrite it. This might take a few days. Thanks for your patience and reviews!**

**I do have a question for you all in the mean time. How would you guys feel about a possible sequel to this story? Not sure whether it'd be a full length story or a series of one shots (most likely one shots) but I was just thinking about it and wanted to know what you all thought.**

**Keep on reading! Sorry for the wait!**


	36. Epilogue Three: Forever

**Epilogue Three: Forever **

**_Five years later ((2020))_**

Clary POV

_The sounds of ripping flesh and screams from the wounded fill the air. Everything moves in perfect technicolor past me but my objective is clear. Stands out. His white blonde hair is damp with sweat, a manic grin plastered on his pale face. His hands swing in a blur of movement, and I seem rooted to the ground as he advances forward._

_From his back sprout a pair of ink black wings, menacing and dark, moving in the time of his footsteps. I watch helplessly as he faces down the golden boy, his own light wings spread behind him. They lunge for each other, the boy with the dark wings spearing his sword through his opponent's stomach. Blood begins to drip, and there's nothing I can do. I'm unable to help. I'm-_

Jolting awake I shiver, mouth wide, breath leaving me in frantic gasps. Reflexively my arms reach out, searching and seeking, until I feel him. Long and muscular and perfectly safe, body tensed in concern.

Dimly I feel his lips press to my forehead, muttering something to me. My heart beats so loudly I fear it'll explode out of my chest. Unable to answer his questions I simply close my eyes, trying to ignore the horrible images still residing there. _It's not true, it's not true, it's not true_.

At last, after what seems like hours, I finally feel myself relax. My ears, which have seemed to be filled with cotton, are bombarded with sound that feels sharp and harsh. I wince, pulling myself tighter to his chest. His arms, which have curled around me protectively, don't loosen.

"It's alright, Clary. I'm here. I'm always going to be here." Jace lowers his chin, setting it on my forehead. His breath tickles, blowing my hair gently with it. My throat seems to tighten, but I don't want to cry. Can't cry.

"I love you," I whisper, pressing my lips to his skin. He shivers, arms clenching. But he doesn't say anything.

For a while we lay this way, me burrowed into him as if to hide from my nightmares and him holding me almost impossibly close, our limbs folded together and my cheek against his heart. It's steady beating is the reassurance I need. When I'm able to I speak, words quiet in the dark room. As always he listens, not interrupting me or brushing off my fears. When I'm done explaining he lifts my chin, mouth finding my own.

I let him kiss me, finding comfort in the familiar feeling. "I know it's hard but you just have to remember it's over, Clary. Jonathan is healed. He's never going to hurt us - or you - ever again. We're safe."

"For now," I agree, "but for how long? Something is always going to be a threat, Jace. This whole life is a gamble, and it scares me. Losing you or the kids is something I can't even imagine."

He's silent and I wonder if he's thinking the same thing I am. Our kids, sleeping just down the hall, convinced nothing will ever hurt them and filled with childhood innocence. They're all too young to even have their first marks. Still my little babies, even if they are growing up way too fast.

"Well, for now we're okay, and that's the main thing. Try and go to sleep. I love you. I won't let anyone hurt you." In the dim lighting his tawny eyes look black and I shudder despite myself. It's been years since the battle but the nightmares are insistent as always. I can't seem to shake them no matter what. The smallest things set me off and it's just so hard.

If it weren't for Jace I'm not sure where I'd be.

Rolling over I curl into his side, draping an arm casually across his torso. His fingers find mine, squeezing gently, and then release. "It's a big day tomorrow. You need your sleep," he reminds me in a sleepy voice, sounding amused.

Inwardly I groan. "It's only a big day if you make it to be one, Jace."

I can almost hear the smirk on his face. "I intend on doing just that. Good night, Clary."

Sometime later I drift off, but I still feel Jace tense in his sleep, feel his delicate hands seek for my own. He shakes as if he has a fever, pulse frantic against my ear. His nightmares haven't left him either, and although he doesn't admit to them, I know they plague him almost as frequently as my own.

We may be broken, but when we're together, we're complete.

* * *

"Wake up, Clary."

A low voice says, breath warm against my ear. Fingers curl around my hip, the sheets tangled around me rustling. Cold air hits me and I shiver.

"I know you're awake," Jace insists, voice light. His mouth, which has been hovering close to my ear, whispers along my jaw. It ghosts lower, pressing insistent kisses in it's trail. I'm very, very tempted to open my eyes, but at the same time I don't want to. Because if I do I'll have to acknowledge the fact it's my birthday.

Birthdays were never my favorite holiday, and after meeting Jace my views on them didn't improve. I wasn't sure if it was due to him growing up without anyone else to celebrate things with or he was just a birthday person in general but Jace didn't take birthdays lightly. It was odd for the boy who seemed to be so solid and sarcastic but here he was.

"Go 'way," I mutter, burrowing my face into the pillow. It's still warm, and I just want to go back to sleep. "Not interested."

Jace chuckles, resting his head at the hollow of my throat. His hair tickles my chin, and everywhere our skin meets seems to fizz with tension. "Not interested, huh? How quickly you dismiss our love."

Grudgingly I open my eyes, the soft glow which filters through the window making me squint. Jace hovers over me, sporting a crooked grin. His weight pushes me down, blocking any attempts of escape I might have considered. Of course I had been considering. He knows me too well.

"Morning, birthday girl." He says, looking smug. Before I can roll back over he steals a kiss, cradling my face delicately.

"Don't remind me," I groan as I break away from his insistent lips. Jace laughs, nuzzling at my throat. My heart seems to beat ten times faster at the contact. "Why couldn't you just let me sleep?"

"You're only twenty eight," he teases. "You technically can't complain until your thirty. That's usually when women get touchy about the whole age thing."

I push him, and he rolls off, letting me sit up. "There's someone waiting to see you." He says, smiling. "Do you want to shower first?"

"Do I have that option?"

He shakes his head, getting up and walking to the door. I hear his almost silent footsteps on the wooden floors and a door opening. There's an excited exclamation quickly followed by a collection of hushes.

Then there's a flurry of gold and I'm surrounded. Jace leans in the door, watching with an amused expression. I sit up, trying to distinguish the gaggle of kids surrounding me.

"Happy birthday!" Stephen, the biggest in the crowd, yells excitedly. He's eleven, and is all limbs. He's tall and is the spitting image of his father. Somedays I miss the little golden haired boy he used to be, but I still love him the exact same way. He'll always be my baby.

"Thank you, Steph!" I return, hugging him to me. He pulls away, brushing the front of his black shirt, and the gesture makes my heart hurt. Gone are the days he used to never let go when someone hugged him. "Stop growing so fast," I say, smirking, "you're gonna be too tall."

"You're just too short," he counters, and I laugh. It's true - soon enough I'll likely be the shortest in my family. But for now I'm still holding my ground.

James, who looks bored as usual, yawns loudly. "Can I go back to sleep?" He asks, blinking at me with heavy eyes. I ruffle his golden hair, the same as his father's and Stephen's, and shake my head. He groans audibly, scooting away from me to sit beside Stephen.

I shoot Jace a glance and he shrugs, amused. James is only six yet his attitude is far past that. Stephen may have inherited Jace's exact looks but James got his infamous attitude. I could just imagine his teenage years.

Lastly, his pale blonde hair swept away from his golden eyes, is Jeremy. It turned out that our third baby hadn't been a girl after all. Instead Jeremy had came into our lives, adding to the growing list of Herondale boys that were nearly identical. Unlike his older brothers he was quiet and a breath of fresh air.

Except for right now.

"Happy bir'day," he says, flashing his gap-toothed smile. I hug him to me, his familiar curly hair scratchy against my chest.

My eyes meet Jace's, and I raise an eyebrow. He mouths the answer to me and I nod. At last I peel Jeremy away, looking at my three boys. "Are you guys hungry?"

"Yes!" James answers the loudest, racing Stephen for the door. Jeremy follows after, cautiously lowering himself to the floor before racing as fast as his four year old legs will take him.

Jace crosses the room to me, offering me his hand. I take it, letting him pull me up and towards the door. My hair's a mess and I'm wearing pajamas that are probably older than Stephen but he doesn't seem to mind. That or he senses that if he leaves me alone to shower I'll probably pull a fast one and try and go back to sleep.

At the end of the hall we stop, Jace opening the white door there. The boys have already thundered down the stairs and are fighting over something. I roll my eyes and Jace snorts, trying to hold in his laughter. "Typical," I stage whisper, and a laugh escapes his lips.

We step into the room, still quiet. Across the room, where the large window lets in the warm late summer sunlight, are the two smallest members of the family. Owen and Sophie, the twins.

When Jeremy had been born I had convinced Jace to try one last time for a girl. He'd eventually agreed and I'd gotten pregnant fairly quick. Except instead of having just one baby we'd been given two. Magnus had been on hand during the birthing since I'd gone into labor early and didn't have time to call on a Silent Brother, and was the first one to realize I had more than one baby being born. We'd all been shocked, me more than anyone. That was when, on a cold February afternoon in the middle of a snow storm, Owen had come into the world, followed by Sophie three minutes after.

I'd finally got my little girl, but she had came in a package deal.

"Do you want me to wake them?" Jace offers, looking hesitant. He knows as well as I do that the twins can be downright unpleasant when woken too early. For a minute I'm tempted to let him suffer their anger but I don't.

"I'll do it," I say, taking my hand from his own. Softly I walk to their small beds, one covered with a pink blanket and the other with black. Deciding on trying Owen first I sit as gently as possible at the foot of his bed.

His hair, which is a few shades darker red than my own, is frizzy from sleep. Unlike his brothers before him he has perfectly straight hair which he wears cropped short instead of long. It contrasts sharply with his eyes - which are the tawny gold of Jace's own. Reaching across I touch his small back, which rises and falls slowly.

I watch, cautious, as he begins to stir. At last his eyes open, blinking blearily at me. "Mommy?" He asks, looking confused. "Was wrong?"

"Nothing, sweetie," I say, offering him a smile. He reminds me of Stephen when he was this age. All questions. "It's time to get up."

"How come?" He sits up, rubbing at his eyes. I stand, giving him room. He watches me with a sleepy expression, looking as if he might fall over and resume sleeping.

"It's Mommy's birthday," Jace answers, suddenly beside us. "So we're all going to go downstairs and have breakfast together. Then we have something to do. Remember?"

Owen looks at Jace, confused, until something seems to click. "I 'member!" He exclaims, suddenly awake. "I 'member cause Stephen told me!"

Jace smiles at him, ignoring my accusing glare. 'Something to do' could be anything. I'm not exactly sure I like the sound of it. Owen scrambles past me, grasping onto Jace's hand and towing him to the dresser that holds his and Sophie's clothes.

I don't have time to listen. Instead I move to the pink bed, where Sophie is watching me indignantly. Despite being younger than her twin she's the dominant one and often bosses Owen around. She's also more demanding, and doesn't let her brothers mess around with her. Jace insists that it's because she has four older brothers. I insist that it's his attitude making another reappearance.

"Why are we up so early?" She asks, sitting up loosely. I brush her gold hair back, tucking it behind her ears. Her eyes, which are the color of my own, look at me accusingly, as if I've robbed her of something important. Out of all our kids she's the only one with my eyes, and combined with Jace's golden hair she's already in the makings to be a heartbreaker.

But not quite yet. "We got big things to do today," I answer simply, helping her down from her bed. "And we can't do them without you!"

She doesn't look so convinced. Slowly I coax her into getting dressed and we finally make our way down stairs. As I had guessed it was utter chaos.

"James! Leave Jeremy alone," I call, letting go of Sophie's small hand. James, who has been pestering his younger brother as usual, looks at me with an unfazed stare. I groan inwardly as I take my place at the table.

Sometimes I think it would've been easier if I'd had girls.

* * *

**Jace POV **

After breakfast, which consists of bacon and eggs and toast that's nearly burned thanks to Stephen, it's finally time. As soon as he's done Stephen excuses himself, all but running to the sink and then through the door. James is his shadow, laughing to himself as he chases his brother.

Clary clears her throat, giving me an accusing glare. I shrug, bashfully grinning. She has no idea.

Pretending to ignore her stare I finish off my plate, picking it up along with Owen's on my way to the sink. He's sitting beside Jeremy and the two keep exchanging looks that I know are full of excitement. Sophie is less than thrilled and instead sits pouting, giving Clary dejected looks as she eats.

"I'm going to feed the horses," I say, offering Clary a smile. She returns it but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Maybe you could bring Sophie when she's finished?"

"Sure," she answers, crossing her arms. I feel guilty for keeping the truth from her but I know it will be worth it.

After all, it's not everyday our favorite warlock makes a portal to bring everyone across the sea for a surprise party.

* * *

Clary POV

After what feels like years of waiting and guilt-inducing looks Sophie finishes her breakfast. I all but force her out of her chair, helping her clean up and then put on her runners, which - and no surprise here - are pink. She smiles at me as I tie the laces tight, securing her small feet. Sophie may be a girly girl but that doesn't stop her from being the fierce fire brand she is. I pity her brothers the day she can wield a seraph blade.

"Ready?" I ask, and she nods, reaching to open the door. She hums to herself as she walks beside me, admiring her shoes every so many feet. She reminds me of Isabelle in more ways than one.

_Isabelle_. My chest seems to tighten at the name. I haven't seen her in years. Not since Jeremy's birthday. I miss her - and everyone else in New York - terribly. We still write one another regularly but it's not the same.

Suddenly Sophie stops dead, her green eyes wide. I follow her gaze, squinting to see through the bright August sun. "Mommy?" She asks, voice quavering, "who's that?"

At first I see nothing. And then, from the edge of the tree line, comes two people, both attempting to keep the tired looking group of children in front of them together and moving. My heart flutters, and for a moment I forget Sophie.

"Alec? Magnus?" I call, moving forward. The taller of the two figures curls their hand in a wave, and I beam. "It _is_ you! I can't believe it!"

Magnus reaches us at last, cat eyes narrow in the sun. His black hair is less wild and he's dressed somewhat normal but he's still coated in the usual glitter. I grin, reaching towards him. He embraces me, the familiar smell of sandalwood engulfing me.

"You never said you were coming to visit!" I exclaim, stepping away from him. Sophie, still confused, reaches for my hand. I let her take it. "How come?"

"Surprises, Clary," he winks, then looks over his shoulder. Alec has managed to maintain the kids, but barely. "I would've loved to tell you but I was sworn to absolute secrecy."

Suddenly it makes sense. "Jace," I say, feeling fooled. A flush rises to my cheeks. He must've had this planned for weeks. Magnus grins, then nods his head towards his husband.

"Come say hi. It's been too long."

Together we walk towards Alec, who looks hassled but still extremely indifferent as usual. Some things never change. His blue eyes drift over me, landing on Sophie, who has hid herself behind my legs. She's not the shy type, but she doesn't know Alec or Magnus at all so I can't blame her.

"She's getting big," Alec comments, a small smile curling the side of his mouth. He looks at me next. "It's so good to see you."

I return his smile. "You too, Alec. How've you been?"

One of the kids, the tallest boy, looks to his father. I recognize him instantly. With his blue eyes and dark hair it's not hard to. Gabriel. I can't remember the last time I saw him and now he's almost as big as Stephen. "Dad? Can I leave now?"

Alec meets his son's glare and his expression hardens. "You can say hi to your Aunt first," he says, voice low. Gabriel, clearly unfazed, rolls his eyes.

"Hey, Aunt Clary," he says quietly. I dart forward, ruffling his dark hair. He bats me away, blushing.

"Stephen will most likely be in the stables," I tell him, "go on."

He runs off, leaving Alec, Magnus, and I with the remaining two children. Unlike Gabriel they don't look like Alec. The smaller one, a girl, smiles shyly at me. She's about Jeremy's age.

"Jenna, Adrian, this is your aunt Clary." Magnus sets his hand on the boy's shoulder, nodding at me. The boy, who seems slightly bolder, says hi. Jenna doesn't, instead holding onto Alec's leg. She reminds me of Sophie. I know that they were originally Blackthorns and that their parents were killed in a demon attack, but they never knew the difference. Alec and Magnus are the only parents they've every known.

I open my mouth to ask Alec about Maryse and then there's an almighty bang, instantly followed by raised voices. I turn to look at the woods, unsure of what to expect, heart hammering. Blindly I shove Sophie behind me, pivoting so I block her frame from whatever threat-

"Clary!" A familiar voice calls, my head snapping up. At first I wonder if my eyes decieve me. There's no way...

"Clary! A little help here?" The man insists again, using his free hand to brush his brown hair out of his eyes. Numbly I walk towars him, disbelieving. When I reach him he catches me in a bear hug, the bag in his right arm clanking painfully against my hip.

I let my eyes wander over his face, drinking him in. It's been so long. "Simon," I whisper, and his face lights up in a goofy grin. "I can't-"

"Sorry to break up the reunion but I'm starting to debate whether it's moral or not to tie your son to the side of the barn," the tall woman beside Simon interrupts, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Isabelle. She hasn't changed a bit since I last saw her. Age hasn't seemed to even brush her yet - she could still be sixteen.

I glance at the boy she indicates too, smirking. He's small, maybe five, and is clearly buzzing with energy. When Isabelle married Simon we'd travelled home for the wedding and she'd told me she never wanted children because she was afraid of being a mom. It seemed like that didn't last long.

Catching my gaze, Isabelle darts forward, ruffling her boy's hair. "Clary, this is Conner. Next to him is Maxwell, and this is Hannah. And last but not least is Taylor." She touches each child, starting from the energetic boy and then passing on to his blue eyed brother and small brown haired girl. Taylor, the baby of the bunch, stands nervously behind her older siblings. She's very, very cute.

"You'll have to keep the boys away, Izzy," I tease, and she smiles.

"So will you. Is this Sophie?" She crouches down so she's almost at her eye level. Sophie, ever the player, whimpers and hides further behind my legs. "She's so big! The last time I seen you you were only learning to crawl."

"I'm three," Sophie announces, voice small. "I'm a big girl."

Simon smiles, setting the heavy bag he carries down. "You're the same age as Hannah. Maybe you guys could play together." Hannah looks at Sophie, curious, and Sophie returns the look. I hope they get along. It'd be good for her to make friends.

Just then Jace appears, hair tousled and brow wet with sweat. He's pushing a wheel chair, which my mother sits in, and Luke walks behind him. Stephen and Gabriel stroll a little ways behind, jabbing and laughing. James and Jeremy trail behind, looking dejected at being stuck with the task of babysitting Owen, who is humming to himself as he hops over branches and bushes. He wheels Mom over to our assembled group, and she breaks into a wide smile.

"Is that everyone?" He calls, giving me a smug look. I resist the urge to childishly stick my tongue out at him. "Okay. Let's get inside," he nods towards the manor house, pushing my mom in front of him.

I hate surprises, but this has got to be the best one yet.

* * *

**Jace POV **

After, once everyone's had an early supper and has spread out to talk and catch up, I finally find Clary. She's sitting in the large room we've jokingly deemed the library because of its tall walls. Magnus lounges in the chair beside hers, a flute of champagne in his hand. He winks at me as I step in the room, but doesn't take his attention away from Clary.

"Hey," Clary greets me as I walk towards her, reaching her hand out. I take it, wedging her to the side so I sit beside her. "Want a drink?"

I nod. "Please." It's been a long day, and I'm tired. Magnus flicks his wrist, producing another flute which he passes to me. I sip at the bubbly liquid, eyes flickering out to the view of the back yard.

Stephen and Gabriel are entertaining the rest of the younger group of geusts, jousting at one another with unsharpened sticks. I know Stephen can heal anyone if something goes wrong but I'm still worried.

"Don't worry," Magnus says simply. "Alec and Isabelle are watching them." His cat eyes wash over the shaded area of the sweeping meadow that's our backyard.

I shift, uncomfortable, and take a pull of my drink. Clary reaches for my hand, and I take it, the familiar feel of her somehow calming.

Just outside of the windows, her red hair swept over her shoulder, is Jocelyn. She's looking at us, a smile on her face. Luke rests against her knees, watching the kids. Curling a finger, Jocelyn beckons Clary.

"Sorry," she whispers, kissing the side of my mouth before untangling herself from me. "Mama Bear's calling." She pads quickly across the wooden floor, letting herself out into the summer air. It smells sweet, and slow. Like home.

When she's gone Magnus looks at me. "We've come a long way," he says, eyes a million miles away.

"Yea," I agree, swirling the contents of my glass. "Yea, we have."

"You remind me of William." He says, a smile curling his honey colored skin. "I think he'd have been very proud of you. And your kids. I never thought I'd see the day Jace Lightwood had five children."

I snort, looking down. "As a matter of fact Owen and Sophie weren't planned. It was a package deal."

Magnus grins. "I know."

We grow silent, looking at our combined families scattered around the lawn. Black hair and brown hair of the Lightwood brood and the blonde and red of my own. Times have changed, and although it hasn't been easy, I wouldn't change a thing.

Never did I imagine a future with the small red haired girl who told me to stop that night in Pandemonium. Yet here we are, and I wouldn't change a thing. For once I feel complete. Loved. Safe.

For once everything is okay, and as long as I have my family, it always will be.

* * *

**Sorry for the very long wait! I was sure the ending of this fic was disappointing and that's why it took me so long. Here's the final ending of After Her once and for all. It's been fun to wrote and your reviews and comments are so pleasant to hear! I really appreciate your comeback and hope you enjoy the ending!**

**Check back in the next few months or so for the sequel, which will be a series of one shots following the kids and their growing up.**

**Thanks to you all. You're amazing.**

**-Mtrench is life **


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